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Parenting after a Loss
DH and I disagree about vaccines...
It sux. ?We have been arguing about vaccines now for days now, leading up to DS's 2 month appt when he was scheduled to get the first in the series, DS just got his first one yesterday. ?DH wants him on a severely alternate schedule and very spaced out and only wants DS to get certain ones and he sent me to the dr BY MYSELF (with slightly different views on the issue as well) with a mound of paperwork and research he did to discuss it and get the first one done. ?By the way, he just sprung all this on me at MIDNIGHT the night before the appt for the shot!!!! He's known about this appt for over a month and we discussed it a little after the last drs appt and thought we were on the same page, but then at 9:00 pm on Wed night he started researching and came into our room at midnight with all his research and what he wanted. ?I was soooooooo tired and was not really paying attention and so didn't quite do what DH wanted at the drs office so we really argued about what was done afterward and DS has been a little not himself after the shot, which is totally normal, but DH has me feeling like its the most terrible thing ever and all my fault since I didn't follow his proposed schedule EXACTLY....ARGH. ?I don't even know if this is making sense, but just needed to vent. ?Anyone else having these issues? ?I'm sure this topic creates a lot of controversy and I don't want to start anything, just want to vent.....so DH and I are still arguing. ?I hope we can come to some sort of agreement soon! ?I don't want this to go on FOREVER!
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Re: DH and I disagree about vaccines...
Quite frankly, if dh wanted to discuss it with the dr, he should've made it his business to be there to discuss it with him.
If he has an issue with your ds getting vax, then discussing it the midnight before the vax is not the time to do it. And he's not your boss. That you should exactly what he tells you to do. He's your kid too.
Tell dh that from now on, if he has concerns or questions, he most certainly should make it his business to be at the drs office with you. ?
Ditto pp. DH and I have a rule--whoever takes the kid to the doctor is pretty much in charge of what happens at the doctor's office, within reason. On big things (our son was in the hospital last week), we try to talk on the phone with doctor present to make decisions.
It is not easy--Andy and I had some differences when he took our son to the hospital and I stayed back with our 3 yr old--and there were some harsh words, but we figured it out. Since he was the one there, I had to let him make some decisions about our son's treatment (getting an IV when he was not dehydrated, etc) that I might have made differently.
And night before is def. not the time to talk about it. Now that you know DH's concerns, maybe you can talk during a less critical time.
Good luck, Jill
that is an inappropriate time for your DH to discuss such a big topic like that...
Both of you really need to come to a consensus about it. Not getting a child vaccinated is a HUGE risk that you're taking... it's not one I'm willing to take after the recent outbreaks of the diseases we vaccinate for have happened in our schools here due to some of the children not receiving their vaccinations. And... I don't know your future plans, but if you are planning on putting your child in day care, it may not be one he's able to make.
That does suck. I'm sorry, sweetie. It's unfair of him to pull this on you last minute & not even go w/you. DH & I are on the same page (wanting the alt. schedule) but I was still mad at him for not going w/me to hash it out w/the pedi. It sounds like what you really needed was his support. Maybe if you put it to him like that it will help?
Gotta' say, even though it's an Eagles jersey, that's a pretty cute pic in your siggy... (We're a Giants household.)
Your DH really should have gone with you.
I recommend The Vaccine Book by Dr Sears. I think it's only $12 on amazon. He discusses vaccines in a very open minded manner and doesn't promote fear tactics.
We're doing his alternative vac schedule. It just slows down the AAP schedule a little and spreads out the shots so it's not so much at one time.
We are delaying the Hep B vac until he's almost school age since Andrew isn't sexually active or even going to daycare.
I'm sorry - that just sucks.
DH and I are on the same page about vaccines (doing an alternate schedule) - but i'm sure if we weren't I'd expect him to discuss it before the night before!
I would also recommend the Vacine Book by Sears. It really presents the info in a great way without fear, etc.
May the best team win...we are surrounded by Giants fans here in NJ and also have a Giants jersey, so whoever wins, we are prepared to wear whichever jersey for the next one...at least I am, can't say the same for DH...?