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November 2015 Moms
sadyy131
member
being "forced" to pack up and move before LO arrives
sadyy131
member
Honestly with the amount of impatient babies and extremely scary situations happening on this board I feel guilty for even making a rant post (love to all you ladies going through those difficulties). But the anxiety level I'm going through right now is through the roof.
I moved out of my house in July. I am 20 years old and despite my parents "support" in the beginning of my pregnancy, that soon came with strings attached. I'm blessed to have a supportive boyfriend who wants to be part of our daughters life, but my ultra- religious parents did not want him in the picture. They placed extremely heavy restrictions on us and basically said we need to live as friends. That and many other things that were said, such as the fact that they want to coparent my child, made me decide that leaving my house for the benefit of all three of us, SO, LO and myself was best. I couldn't handle the stress anymore.
In turn my parents decided to disown me. And basically my extended family has followed suit. They have made my life a living hell because I won't live exactly as they say. After leaving my house, SO and I lived in his parents house for a month and a half and searched everywhere for a place. No one wanted to rent to college aged parents (regardless of the fact that we both have good jobs, good credit, Etc).
My SO's uncle's wife passed away unexpectedly in August. His stepdaughter went to live with her grandma and so it was just him and his son living in a two story house. The space was just too big for him and we knew he was lonely, so we jumped on the opportunity to move it. All we share is the kitchen, our space upstairs is completely private and our own. We pay have the rent and everything has been going good thus far. The babies room is nearly complete and we just got settled.
Now, last week the landlord forgot to pay the electric bill and the power got turned off for a day and half.
We lost some groceries but overall it was no big deal, rather just an inconvience. SO's uncle was furious and when I had called him to tell him that the power went out, he said that he was going to look at places tomorrow because he can't "live like this and this was his wife's place and it's time to move on". I just figured he was angry and that's why he said this. After all, we moved in with the assumption that we were staying for a while.
Today while I was at my MIL house, it was mentioned that Paul (SO's uncle) is looking for a new place for all of us. I was really taken back as I feel like we have not really discussed this and I said that I am 8 months pregnant and do not feel that moving right now is a great idea. Moving into the apartment was such as hassle and now we have twice the amount of furniture and I don't want to be dealing with this knowing that he baby could come at any time! Everyone seemed so supportive of the decision to move. They were like "oh don't worry we'll all help you" and I'm like no I don't want to move right now. It doesn't matter how much help we have a lot of this will fall on me because SO works long hours and we will have to rearrange everything and reset up the babys room. I'm just so livid. I feel like we're being treated like children. I feel like we're not getting a say in any of this. I like the space we have now because it's private, I do not want to live in a house that is more intergrated. I'm sorry if I sound like a brat, but honestly leaving home was extremely stressful and for the first time in months I finally felt at home. I am just so upset and filled with anxiety because I feel like no one except my SO is on my side. I honestly just can't even imagine moving now or with a newborn baby.
I moved out of my house in July. I am 20 years old and despite my parents "support" in the beginning of my pregnancy, that soon came with strings attached. I'm blessed to have a supportive boyfriend who wants to be part of our daughters life, but my ultra- religious parents did not want him in the picture. They placed extremely heavy restrictions on us and basically said we need to live as friends. That and many other things that were said, such as the fact that they want to coparent my child, made me decide that leaving my house for the benefit of all three of us, SO, LO and myself was best. I couldn't handle the stress anymore.
In turn my parents decided to disown me. And basically my extended family has followed suit. They have made my life a living hell because I won't live exactly as they say. After leaving my house, SO and I lived in his parents house for a month and a half and searched everywhere for a place. No one wanted to rent to college aged parents (regardless of the fact that we both have good jobs, good credit, Etc).
My SO's uncle's wife passed away unexpectedly in August. His stepdaughter went to live with her grandma and so it was just him and his son living in a two story house. The space was just too big for him and we knew he was lonely, so we jumped on the opportunity to move it. All we share is the kitchen, our space upstairs is completely private and our own. We pay have the rent and everything has been going good thus far. The babies room is nearly complete and we just got settled.
Now, last week the landlord forgot to pay the electric bill and the power got turned off for a day and half.
We lost some groceries but overall it was no big deal, rather just an inconvience. SO's uncle was furious and when I had called him to tell him that the power went out, he said that he was going to look at places tomorrow because he can't "live like this and this was his wife's place and it's time to move on". I just figured he was angry and that's why he said this. After all, we moved in with the assumption that we were staying for a while.
Today while I was at my MIL house, it was mentioned that Paul (SO's uncle) is looking for a new place for all of us. I was really taken back as I feel like we have not really discussed this and I said that I am 8 months pregnant and do not feel that moving right now is a great idea. Moving into the apartment was such as hassle and now we have twice the amount of furniture and I don't want to be dealing with this knowing that he baby could come at any time! Everyone seemed so supportive of the decision to move. They were like "oh don't worry we'll all help you" and I'm like no I don't want to move right now. It doesn't matter how much help we have a lot of this will fall on me because SO works long hours and we will have to rearrange everything and reset up the babys room. I'm just so livid. I feel like we're being treated like children. I feel like we're not getting a say in any of this. I like the space we have now because it's private, I do not want to live in a house that is more intergrated. I'm sorry if I sound like a brat, but honestly leaving home was extremely stressful and for the first time in months I finally felt at home. I am just so upset and filled with anxiety because I feel like no one except my SO is on my side. I honestly just can't even imagine moving now or with a newborn baby.
Re: being "forced" to pack up and move before LO arrives
Edit words are hard and I can't sleep
It does suck to have to move at 8 months, and even with help it will be a lot of work and hassle. However, it sounds like if that's what's got to happen, there's not much you're gonna be able to do about it. Which it sounds like you are well aware of.. If I were you I would continue looking for a place. It's the only way to ensure privacy and stability.
Despite this inconvienance being thrown on you, it sounds like your boyfriends family is very supportive. Maybe someone can cosign a lease with you guys?
It all sounds very frustrating and like bad timing, but such is life I suppose.
Its good you'll have help, and once baby is here it probably won't matter if boxes are packed or his room isn't quite set up.
Married 9/28/13
DS born 11/12/15
EDD 8/13/18
Second, I'm just going to be blunt, you are being a total brat. He has allowed you to live with him, knowing you will be having a newborn shortly, that is pretty generous. If your name is not on the lease/morgage, and you are not financially responsible, you don't get a say.
If you want more stability you need to get your own place. Apartments don't discriminate based on age or the fact you have children, that would be illegal. Generally all they look for is that your monthly income is 3x greater than rent, no prior evictions or other delinquencies, and no felonies. If you are being denied it is not because you are 19 y.o parents.
It will all work out, even if you must move this far in pregnancy. Most pregnancies go off without a hitch and dwelling on the fact that something might happen early won't change whether it will or not. If you are going to stay with the uncle, you'll have to go along with his desire to move. I kind of agree with @Ash413, most rental places won't discount renting to you based off your age. I've rented enough places to know that. So something else is in the mix there.
It's great that you have someone in your life who took you in and made you so comfortable in his home. He's even looking for a place for all of you which is amazing. Seems like he is having a tough time coping right now and may need your support. If your plan was to get a place of your own then perhaps start looking. Pps had some good ideas on locations. Just curious, what age do landlords rent out in your area? If it's going to take a while and you have the means, then maybe look into buying a house.
He sounds like an awesome guy to extend such an amazing gesture and opportunity to you guys and continue to extend it as he's trying to cope with this change in his life. @VexedMommy has a great suggestion, see if you can take over the lease. When in doubt it's either find your own place or be gracious and classy in helping with the move as much as you can. Please don't add to a already hard burden to bare.
I'm almost 34 weeks, and our movers show up at 9am tomorrow! The nursery furniture is all in the garage, un-assembled, nursery itself it about half painted, and all my shower gifts are piled up in the basement until we're done moving so I can sort them and see what we have left to get. Its hard to move this late in the game, but its not impossible.
Find friends willing to help. Even if your SO works late hours, its his house & stuff too, he should pitch in when he can. And like a PP said, just because uncle has decided to move, doesn't mean it'll happen overnight. He'll need to find a new place, figure out how to break the old lease/find a subletter so he doesn't have to break it, then pack and organize the move. It'll be awhile, you could very well have a 2-3 month old by the time its moving day! DH and I have managed to rush a move in 3-4 weeks, but we had to make a lot of sacrifices and pick the first available apartment we could find (usually when we had to do this it was for a new job opportunity, so getting there quickly was more important than finding the best place). I doubt uncle would move at that pace just to get out of the old house quickly, so you definitely have time on your side.