Uninvolved family

squigles28 · October 2015

My husband and I both have uninvolved family members and I hate it! One of his sisters and both of my brothers have not met LO not have they even reached out to see if she is okay or to see if I am okay. And his parents have at least met her but never check on her. I kiss don't get it.
I saw a picture of my brother on Facebook and barely recognized him. I just really hope for better for my LO. We have lots of involved family but it really hit me hard tonight

troopersmom · October 2015

I'm so sorry some of the family is being that way. My sister didn't come meet my son for a month, and he's our first baby. Sorry I don't have advise but wanted you to know I feel for ya

CRooney89 · October 2015

My boyfriend's mother lives 20 minutes away and hasn't once asked to see baby since we've been home from the hospital (he is 3 weeks old). I think it's because she showed up at the hospital with his 11 year old brother while I was in labor and I wouldn't let them stay in the room while I was pushing (BF had already told her previously not to even come until baby is born). It sucks when some family members are uninvolved, but you just have to think it's their loss--they are the ones missing out on a beautiful baby!

rebeccabloomwood · October 2015

We have family that acts involved at first but then doesn't stick around. DHs sister doesn't even know how to interact with our 2yo because she only sees her 3 times a year. I've come to terms with it. I don't need someone who doesn't want to be there. My brother loves across the country and he's far more involved.

jennsammut · October 2015

His side tries to be involved but only on Facebook which is so fake. It's annoying my parents come up at least once a week and they live an hour and a half away. They truly love my baby.

His mom wants to babysit but I don't know if I am really comfortable leaving my baby with her.

LaurenNewph · October 2015

My inlaws are on the quiet side (at least my mil), and they are definitely not very affectionate. But I can tell they love their grandson. However my SIL has never seen him! Granted we haven't seen her in two years, but still this is your nephew! My family on the other hand spoils him rotten!

millereliz13 · October 2015

jennsammut said:
His side tries to be involved but only on Facebook which is so fake. It's annoying my parents come up at least once a week and they live an hour and a half away. They truly love my baby.

His mom wants to babysit but I don't know if I am really comfortable leaving my baby with her.

My husband's sister is the same eay, she Facebook nice, had no problem stealing my Facebook post on our son's birth, but she only saw him because I reached out.

squigles28 · October 2015

@troopersmom it is our first too and I'm annoyed because we have always been around for their children. My SIL admitted to me at Christmas she was jealous of my pregnancy experience because I waited later in life and she thought I could enjoynit more, with the baby shower etc.
Except his whole side of the family barely talked to me at the shower.
It's always been strained between her and I but it was worse during big things like my wedding and now.
I just hope my baby gets a better family life than me. And I know the only way that can happen is to surround her with those that want to be there.

jbettles · October 2015

That sucks. I'm mad at my brother and sister - LO is four weeks old Monday and neither of them have met him. And we named him after my brother! We do live 3 hours away, but we go there all the freakin time. When I'm sore and worn out from birth you'd think they could make the drive. My mom defends them - says my brothers gf is taking classes online and has lots of homework on the weekends, and my sister has a really stressful, rough class this year (she's a teacher). I fail to see how either of these keeps them from driving out to see my baby one Saturday!!!

BrittnieMariee · October 2015

My side of the family hasn't been in my life for the past 3 years, but recently my grandfather was hospitalized and my mother and I went to see them in SC (we live in NC so we had quite a drive). When we got there the whole family was asking about my pregnancy and saying we needed to be a family again. They haven't contacted me since, and I'm not going running to them after everything they've done. They could at least apologize. I already have and they expect me to just sweep it all under the rug. All my mom and I want is an apology and they can't even manage that. So it doesn't look like my family will be meeting my LO any time soon and it's definitely their loss!! My husband's family, however, has been all about DS! Some of them came to see us in the hospital and others have been begging to come meet him (most of them have been sick so I've told them to keep their distance). It's amazing how different both of our families have been about this.

troopersmom · October 2015

@squigles28 that's crazy that she admitted being jealous! Why do people have to get stupid during big events (like baby shower and wedding)? It's her loss- Is your guy ok not having his sister around.... Because I wouldn't invite her to your family events anymore if she acts like that... That's just me though.
My sister in law and I did NOT get along and for three years I distanced myself. The time apart helped a ton and just this last year I started inviting them to holidays and we are getting along great now. It's really nice because I missed my brother and nieces. Now if I can just get my sister to quit being stupid.... She didn't throw me a baby shower- (I did hers and that's how we do it in my family- the sisters do them)I didn't get one... And she won't come visit. I tried to go to her house and she keeps saying it's not a good time. I think she's jealous of the attention my parents are giving me and my son. Her son was the only grandson for a long time, now my son took that attention away ... At least that's what I think she feels

squigles28 · October 2015

And I kind of get being jealous... On the outside it appears all was perfect. She was still in college and her boyfriend left her. And she sees me with her brother and married etc. Which is true. But if she bothered to get to know me just a little she'd know that I had a really hard time not having my mom around. And I've never known where I fit in. And with the gestational diabetes and hypertension, I worried every day of the third trimester. But she just sees the mask I put on for everyone. Not that I had it bad, but perfect I am not.
The only reason I don't flat out refuse to be around them is my husband. I do the obligatory visits at holidays. I invite them to come see the baby. But I won't beg. I will be the bigger person. So we will see how Christmas goes.

TeacherMom210 · October 2015

As pp have said, it's their loss. We all have hopes for our LOs, but sometimes it's not within our power to grant them. 3 of my inlaws seem like they could honestly care less about my kids, which doesn't really bother me that much b/c I'd rather my kids not be around them (and one of my kids' uncles is a junior in high school). My GMIL seems only to like the idea of having great-grandchildren but doesn't really do anything at the visits she bugs the snot out of us to have except interrogate me about how they are progressing. My MIL seems genuinely interested, but she's...I don't really know how to describe her. She's very self-centered and sort of dumb, too. She doesn't really listen to what you tell her, so I'd rather not see her that often. I also don't like her myself, so there's that, too.

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