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Hate my RE

eh3473eh3473 member
in Infertility
We are currently on round two of IVF. The first go-round the office was absolutely amazing. Unfortunately it didn't work but we didn't hesitate to go back for another try.

This time, it is a mess. One miscommunication after another and I'm losing my mind. We are supposed to have a Frozen transfer next week and I'm about to back out. There is zero trust now...
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Re: Hate my RE

  • NicWalker10NicWalker10 member
    eh3473    I am right there with you!!   Same feeling of distrust after a lot of miscommunication and a total lack of communication and planning.   Everyone keeps telling me that the RE has great numbers so to try and focus on a hopefully positive outcome-so i'm trying, but it's hard--as you well know!!   I also considered cancelling the FET, but I don't know that advances my goal at all. So, my plan is to get thru this FET (10/26) and then seriously sit down with the RE doctor himself (rather than the nurse squad i'm constantly deferred to)  and interview him like it's my job and interview other REs in other groups as well before we undergo out next round.  Unfortunately, my experience with this place give me zero hope in success this round, so i'm already mentall preparing a plan for the next.   I know it's not the best mindset, but it's the b
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  • NicWalker10NicWalker10 member

    good luck--hopefully if you're numbers and lining look good, you can go forward with the FET and it works--that's the end game right?!  I'll be hoping for the best for you.  You are due for something good!

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  • ErikaMGErikaMG member
    Oh honey. First of all, HUGE hug to you. What a stressful thing to add to an already stressful situation.

    I started with an RE that got off on the wrong foot. She was nice enough, and had a great reputation, but there were some issues I had with her from day one, and she was impossible to schedule appointments with, get in touch with if I had questions, etc. Trust issues began right away. I posted about it here, and one of the wonderful ladies on this board happened to live locally, and recommended her RE to me. I switched, and am SO glad I did.

    Look, this whole journey is so hard. Having an RE you can trust and who makes things easier, not harder, for you is so so so important! I strongly encourage you to switch, even if it means skipping a cycle so all your information and records can be transferred and read by the new RE. It might be a temporary inconvenience, but it will be soooo worth it if you switch to someone you like and can trust!

    Whatever you decide, best of luck to you, and we will be here rooting for you!

    <3
    Me: 43, DH: 41
    DS b. 7/4/2011 via c/s
    TTC #2 since 1/2015
    8/2015 - "unexplained IF", started Levothyroxine
    9/27/15 - IUI #1 (unmedicated) - BFN
    10/26/15 - IUI #2 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
    11/21/15 - IUI #3 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
    12/18/15 - IUI #4 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN

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  • KidShrinkKidShrink member
    Is the miscommunication happening with the RE him/herself, or with a staff member? I had some issues with some of his staff (particularly two of the receptionists in charge of making appointments for surgery and regular monitoring). When I met with him for my pre-surgery appointment the day before my surgery (you understand the nonsense here...), I lost it and told him about the issues. When I went in for my surgery the next day, believe me the receptionist looked and acted as if she had had a little meeting with him. My RE was almost impossible to get a hold of, making interactions with his staff more frequent and important. I did consider changing RE, but after each meeting with him, I felt better. So all in all, I'm glad I didn't make the switch. However, if things are not working out with the RE himself, then I'd feel most comfortable just running away from there. Best of luck to you!
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  • Caroline351Caroline351 member
    Hugs! I know this can't be helping your situation. Can you elaborate on your experience, is it the doctor or the staff? In the end, I think it's fair to go with your gut and if you feel it's all wrong, switch. 

    I'm going through something similar with my ob-gyn. I met her and she's SUPER nice, however, I feel like she dropped the ball on a bunch of things (she just gave me Clomid and sent me on my way! No plans for follow-up.) Now I'm working with an out of town RE who takes monthly appts at the same clinic. Because he is 2 hours away, other doctors in the practice have been handling my ultrasounds, etc. and I'm finding that I trust them more and am now trying to think of a nice way to ask for a different doc. 

    I hope you find relief and like I said, YOU know what's best for you.
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  • eh3473eh3473 member
    A little more information....

    We are going to a "satellite" office. The main office is about three hours away. They do everything at our office except for the retrieval and transfer. We love the main Nurse at our office and the REs at both offices are great.

    The trouble comes when we have to communicate with the main office. Appointments have been mis-scheduled, payment errors, never called with correct trigger shot time, etc. It has been one thing after another this time around.

    We decided to stick with the transfer coming up on Friday since we already paid for it and are hoping for the best. I'm trying to not let "the little stuff" bother me anymore!

    Thank you all for your kind words!! It means a lot!
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