Intro & Question — The Bump
Special Needs

Intro & Question

kjv2013kjv2013 member
edited October 2015 in Special Needs
Hi Everyone, my name is Kelly. I am fairly new to the bump and have done a lot of lurking and not much posting.

My daughter was born with a congenital limb difference that has affected her use of her hand. She was born with a small palm and tiny partial fingers.
We have been participating in physical therapy monthly and fly to see a specialist because there isn't one in our city. Things were very crazy for a while
with appointments and check ups but started to slow down. We were told that surgery wouldn't be necessary because of her bone growth in her index and pinkie nubbins.
We figured our next appointment would be a simple check up and even talked about another baby but at the recent appointment we found out that the bone growth
was actually cartilage meaning the only "bone" she has now is in her pointer. Our lives are in limbo while we wait 9 months to see the development before we decide on surgery.

We were convinced we would try for another baby but now that surgery is back on the table we are not sure what to do. Once we decide on surgery it wouldn't happen for another year after
the next appointment. I feel guilty that another baby would take away the attention we need to give to our daughter. Our original plan was to have 3 kids very close together. Now I am not sure that is a good idea.

I feel guilty for even considering adding to the mix at this time. I have not been able to speak to anyone else about this and have felt very isolated. If you have any advice for me that would be much appreciated. We are in a small city and our doctors told us our daughter was likely the only one in the area with this type of congenital limb difference.


Re: Intro & Question

  • I am sorry you are going through this. Not in the same boat but my lo has downs and there have been talks of heart surgery so definitely understand the mom guilt you have if your sweetie has to have surgery. We had also thought about a 2nd child ( not now but in a few years) but I am currently unsure if I could do that to her and to myself.
    Plans change and if you decide later that you want another child thats ok.
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