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June 2016 Moms
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My Story of Loss

SunshineJarSunshineJar member
in June 2016 Moms
I'm a great believer in fate and this pregnancy for me has come to the end of its road.

I found out I was pregnancy two weeks ago and was so so excited. We conceived after two cycles of trying and couldn't believe it. I felt like I was flying high and so did my family.

On Saturday, my emotions took a turn, i became weepy and unsettled. My back and sides started to ache and I started spotting old blood but I just knew something was wrong. Everyone told me it's normal and not to worry but my heart told me otherwise.

As well as spotting brown blood, i.had cramping after sex with pink blood and after bowel.movements.

My bleeding and cramps stepped up a notch on Tuesday so I saw my GP on Wednesday morning who referred me to the hospital. I had a scan and although my midwife had worked out that I was 8 weeks from my dates, my little bunch of love was only showing as 4-5 weeks. The only way to see the scan was to have an internal examination and when the midwife pulled out the examiner she could see it was covered in blood however she reassured me it was old blood. Even though instinct was telling me otherwise. She booked me in for an appointment in two weeks to see if the pregnancy had grown.

Last night I couldn't sleep as the bleeding and cramps intensified. The blood was now a brighter red and I started passing small clots. My stomach felt like it was being scoured with a brillo pad. Then this morning the bleeding intensified once more and I had slight diarrhea. Unfortunately on passing this I also felt tge pregnancy leave me. As soon as I felt it, i knew it was over. I gathered it out of the toilet and can confirm it looks like a dark brown protein. It's hard and unmistakable.

I phoned the hospital who were very unsympathetic and useless and said I have to go in in two weeks to check everything is OK. When I asked what does this mean she wouldn't verify, so I asked do you mean to say check if the miscarriage had completed and she said yes.

Of course at this point I was in pieces but luckily phoned up my GP who talked me through everything with a lot of support and so thoroughly exactly what I needed at that time.

I am happy to say, that I am pleased to have gone through this pregnancy. I am pleased to know i am fertile, pleased to know i can conceive and happy to know that the path I am on is one hundred percent what I want. I feel wiser in so many ways and will stick around these boards to watch you all grow and cant wait to see what the future holds xxx
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