My first baby, his second. He wants a boy..

KaleeDawnW · October 2015

My boyfriend of a year and I are currently expecting our first child together. We're both 19. And he already has a 2 year old daughter. We haven't found out the sex yet but he definitely wants a boy. I do sometimes worry if he won't be as excited if it's a girl since he already has a little girl. As long as baby is healthy we'll be more than thrilled either way but I definitely feel the pressure to have a boy and wonder if he won't connect to a second daughter as much as his first. Any body in a similar position?

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

First of all, sex was determined at the moment of conception, and HIS sperm determined it. If that takes any pressure off of you lol. It's completely out of your control no matter how much wishing and praying etc.

Second, gender disappointment is totally real and valid. He will absolutely connect to your child regardless of gender, it just may take him a couple days to "mourn" not having a boy. Does that make sense? Gender disappointment doesn't mean you are sad about having one gender, it just means you are sad it wasn't the other, make sense?

But just remember that often times dad's don't bond with pregnancies or even newborns and it takes them a bit longer to bond with babies than it does for mom. My DH is amazing but it definitely took him a big adjustment period after DS was born.

kalanieileen · October 2015

I've noticed quite a few FTM/STD posts recently. I think your fear is valid, but it is just that. A fear. Try not to harp on something that is uncertain. Have you voiced your worry to him? Maybe he can help ease your mind with affirmation that he will in fact love and bond with your LO regardless of sex/gender. Communication is so important right now as you are transitioning through a lot mentally, physically, and emotionally.

SisterMaryNapalm · October 2015

I'm sure he will love your LO no matter what. When you find out, give him some time to process and then do your best to talk him through any issues he may be having. At this point I would try not to worry

eastdurian · October 2015

@NachosAndPeaches had some great advice. I wouldn't worry too much about it, he'll come around once the baby is born either way.

We signed DD up for a sports class and I think that is great for DH. He definitely doesn't care which we have next time (well, we both admit that a girl would be easier so we don't have to buy stuff) but he gets to play sports with DD & will with future LO anyways.

toomuchkalesalad · October 2015

My husband comes from a very old Asian family so when we got engaged my FIL made this speech about taking on the name and yadayadayada. So when we announced that we were having a girl he was crushed. My MIL commented that she knew this would happen because I come from a family of all-girls!
They still love my daughter but sometimes FIL is a little indifferent about her. But I might be biased because my own dad is head-over-heels and willing to do anything for her. Makes me wonder what would happen if my current pregnancy was to be a boy!

My husband is just glad that we have a healthy and bright child and has never said anything about gender, especially because he understands biology and that gender is largely on him!

pinottoparenthood · October 2015

NachosAndPeaches said:

Second, gender disappointment is totally real and valid. He will absolutely connect to your child regardless of gender, it just may take him a couple days to "mourn" not having a boy. Does that make sense? Gender disappointment doesn't mean you are sad about having one gender, it just means you are sad it wasn't the other, make sense?

Completely agree with this!! I wouldn't worry if he is disappointed. I cried when I found out my son was a boy. Now I love him so, SO much, and I can't imagine him being a girl! I love having a son! Just give him space if it doesn't turnout like he hopes. He will come to terms with it and ultimately love his child regardless.

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

@pinottoparenthood I didn't cry but I may if this one is a boy. Even though before I got KU I wanted a second boy next, even have his name picked out and which if ds's outfits he will wear etc. we find out in the next few days and I'm super nervous. I know you're kind of in the same boat right? When do you find out?

Sorry for taking. Over your post OP

Ps: I know there are grammatical typos and autocorrects but I'm too lazy to fix them right now

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

#MobileBumping #TheMobileStruggleIsReal

kimey1 · October 2015

@toomuchkalesalad A family of all girls - that is so old-school Asian, man. The trend in Korea nowadays is def. girl-centric. People think guys will go on with their lives while girls will tend more to their parents when they're older.

@KaleeDawnW I was born when boys were preferred, but even till this day, a handful of my dad's friends are jealous of him because he has a daughter and they don't. I'm pretty sure your husband will turn into mush once he realizes she's daddy's girl

pinottoparenthood · October 2015

NachosAndPeaches said:

@pinottoparenthood I didn't cry but I may if this one is a boy. Even though before I got KU I wanted a second boy next, even have his name picked out and which if ds's outfits he will wear etc. we find out in the next few days and I'm super nervous. I know you're kind of in the same boat right? When do you find out? Sorry for taking. Over your post OP Ps: I know there are grammatical typos and autocorrects but I'm too lazy to fix them right now

@nachosandpeaches Had our NT scan on Tuesday at 13 weeks and the U/S tech was all set to tell us what she thought the sex was... and she said she's usually right at 13 weeks... but baby wouldn't uncross his or her legs!! GRRR!!! She even had me get up, walk around, pee, etc, and baby wouldn't cooperate. So we're still waiting to find out.

But yes. I am dying for a girl. This is our last baby and I just want a daughter. I am contemplating paying for an elective ultrasound to find out ASAP, but part of me says wait for the anatomy scan. I'm nota patient person... I just know I'll be disappointed (at least initially) if it's another boy.

elasticheart13 · October 2015

I fear my husband will be very disappointed as well if I turn out to be pregnant with a boy. He's dying to have a little girl and he won't stop suggesting girl names. But I am sure he'd love our child regardless of gender and would only truly care about its health. I am sure your boyfriend would feel the same way even if it was a girl.

Can't wait for my next scan in 12 days then we will know for sure! :P

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

@pinottoparenthood found out we're having a boy. I have mixed feelings. I wasn't as disappointed as I thought I'd be yesterday but I'm having a harder time this morning because I hate not knowing if I will ever have a daughter. We're fine with 3 kids but obviously would have no guarantee for a girl. I'm excited for a brother for DS but man, I just really want a daughter to have as a lifelong best friend.

cosmobella · October 2015

@pinottoparenthood and @nachosandpeaches I found out last week I am having a third boy. I've always wanted a girl but this is my last so this is it. I needed a couple days to deal and am in a better place now. It took several weeks to deal with my feelings when I found out with #2. Of course I knew going into this that my chances were 50/50 and was okay with it since coming to terms after #2. My boys are awesome so I know I will love this new little guy. Right now I'm really close with my boys and I'm hoping it lasts as long as possible. Maybe I'll have a niece or goddaughter if/when they ditch me because of their hormones.

toomuchkalesalad · October 2015

@kimey1 that's what my mom says too- "A son will move out and wander away but a daughter will bring you home a son"!
My sister and I are married and she can't wait to have a third son (my baby sister- just started dating again, so it ain't happening for a while!)

MamaRoni · October 2015

pinottoparenthood said:

NachosAndPeaches said:

@pinottoparenthood I didn't cry but I may if this one is a boy. Even though before I got KU I wanted a second boy next, even have his name picked out and which if ds's outfits he will wear etc. we find out in the next few days and I'm super nervous. I know you're kind of in the same boat right? When do you find out?

Sorry for taking. Over your post OP

Ps: I know there are grammatical typos and autocorrects but I'm too lazy to fix them right now

@nachosandpeaches Had our NT scan on Tuesday at 13 weeks and the U/S tech was all set to tell us what she thought the sex was... and she said she's usually right at 13 weeks... but baby wouldn't uncross his or her legs!! GRRR!!! She even had me get up, walk around, pee, etc, and baby wouldn't cooperate. So we're still waiting to find out.

But yes. I am dying for a girl. This is our last baby and I just want a daughter. I am contemplating paying for an elective ultrasound to find out ASAP, but part of me says wait for the anatomy scan. I'm nota patient person... I just know I'll be disappointed (at least initially) if it's another boy.

Boy #5 for me.... I thought I was totally prepped to have another boy... it's all I know, right? But I have to admit to about 99 seconds of... tears and OMG FOR REAL? .... before I accepted and was excited to see that big ole boy flipping around÷

pinottoparenthood · October 2015

Thanks ladies... good to know I'm not alone in my feelings. I guess if it's another boy i just want to find out now so that I can move through my disappointment and be excited. I do LOVE having a son so much, and I know my second one would be just as great. It's just knowing I won't ever get that girl... but that's okay. I just have to believe that whatever is meant to happen, will happen, and I know I am so blessed to be able to have two healthy children.

hlynnkose · October 2015

I know how you feel...my SO has TWO little girls! And all my family keeps saying I hope you give him a son. Even he says how happy he'd be to have a son. I'll be happy either way but it's that feeling of truly hoping for a boy and knowing it'll be a girl because I'm wanting a boy

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