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Preparing toddler for baby

trea0025trea0025 member
in January 2016 Moms
DS will be just over 2 when DD makes her debut. Any tips on how to prepare him? We've been trying to explain to him that there's a baby in my belly, but he doesn't seem to get it.
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Re: Preparing toddler for baby

  • MamaGooGooMamaGooGoo member
    I'm in the same boat since my daughter turns 2 in early December. She points to my belly and says "brother," and she tries to feed him goldfish through my belly button, which is the cutest thing ever. But I don't think she gets there will be an actual baby soon. You can try reading books, playing with baby dolls and going through the motions of feeding the baby, changing the baby, etc.. These poor kids have no clue what's coming.
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  • JNGettinMarriedJNGettinMarried member
    DD1 has no idea. She'll be 19 months when her sister arrives and I'm pretty sure she won't really get it until there's a baby here. I plan to read a lot of books (she loves books) and point out big sisters when we're out at the park or shopping or play dates or tv... literally everywhere. Also planning on letting her pick out a baby doll around Christmas time so she has her own baby to take care of while mommy takes care of her baby sister. Even with all this, her whole world is going to change and she has no idea it's coming. I'm more concerned about making her feel important once baby gets here and letting her help out then and giving lots of positive attention for the first couple months. Fingers crossed something works!
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  • mg137mg137 member
    My twins are 17.5 months and point to my belly when we ask where the new baby is and will say her name with a big smile if we ask, but as PP said, I don't know if they really get that there's a baby in there or if we've just trained them.

    I always point out other babies and then remind them that mommy is making their new baby in her belly. They've gotten much more affectionate with other babies, hugging a lot, saying "baby!" with big smiles, and getting wipes or whatever if they see one being changed. My mom bought them creepy realistic baby dolls and they hug them and pretend to change diapers. I think all of that has the potential to help but it's hard when they're so young and the idea of a baby growing in mommy is probably pretty weird. I'm excited for when the kicks get big enough that I can show them.

    I think the most important things are to refer to the baby as "our baby" or "your sister" or something else that makes the toddler feel ownership. Also when the new baby comes, we're going to prioritize including the girls. If they want to wipe during a change, so what if the baby has some poop left that we need to get later? We're also planning as well as possible to make sure there's enough help with the new baby that the girls don't feel like they're getting ripped off on mommy time.

    I hope some moms who have been through this before chime in!
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  • deedeecmc79deedeecmc79 member
    I am in the same boat as well. My daughter will be a few days from 2 when her brother arrives. I tell her about the baby constantly and she just started to demand that the baby comes out. So I think she got it. Keep telling him and maybe get him a baby doll. I think it is perfectly fine for him to use a baby doll to help he associate the doll with his soon to be sibling.
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  • mamakculbmamakculb member
    My DS will be 2.5 when DD is born. We are doing what others are doing with books and dolls etc. Other things we are trying to do is work on patience and a little more independence with him. We do things like have him wait a minute or two longer when he asks for things, help with putting his stuff away and spending time with our newborn nephew and being "occupied" with him. I don't want it to be a total shock when we have DD and we can't be as immediately responsive as we are right now. I don't plan to ignore my son, but if baby is crying and I'm changing a diaper I won't be able to drop everything to read a story immediately. Just trying to prepare him for those kind of changes as best we can.



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  • BarrettJ89BarrettJ89 member
    I'm pretty worried about those first few months of adjustment for my DS. He will only be 12-13 months old when DD is born. I can't think of any possible way of explaining it to him, or preparing him for it. The only thing we've been working on is getting him used to other people, or being in a play pen/occupying himself for when my hands are full or I'm nursing DD and can't just drop her to prevent him from catastrophe (lol)
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  • mg137mg137 member
    BarrettJ89 said:

    I'm pretty worried about those first few months of adjustment for my DS. He will only be 12-13 months old when DD is born. I can't think of any possible way of explaining it to him, or preparing him for it. The only thing we've been working on is getting him used to other people, or being in a play pen/occupying himself for when my hands are full or I'm nursing DD and can't just drop her to prevent him from catastrophe (lol)

    I wouldn't worry too much about your son. At that young of an age he probably won't notice much. Young babies do feel jealousy, but by the time he's old enough to realize that the baby is taking too much of your time and attention if it is, he'll be used to it. I'm basing this off having twins, so maybe my experience is a little off.

    My friend has kids 19 months apart and her son barely noticed his sister for the first 6 months, even though baby sister was super needy and dad was deployed. When she was about 6 months old, she started being fun for her big brother so he paid attention to her. Now they're best friends.
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  • jezygaljezygal member
    My daughter just turned 2, she loves babies and being a little mommy. We're making her a big sister baby for when the baby is born, we bought her a snuggly baby sling, so she can carry her baby doll around, some snacks, juice, and coloring stuff. We have the baby swing set up already and we keep telling her that it's for the baby, she seems to understand that it's for a baby and not a toy. We've also been telling her that the baby is in my belly and she gives the baby (my belly) kisses. So we will see how it goes, I think she'll be jealous at times, but will want to help with the baby a lot.
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  • jgregory0215jgregory0215 member
    I've been so nervous for my son. He is 3, he is the biggest mommas boy around .. He is my best friend. He is SO excited for his baby sister .. He gets it .. but he hasn't actually lived it yet. Like I told my husband, we've been through this before. We know what it's like to have a baby around 24/7, our son has no idea. Luckily my brother recently had a baby and we actually get him a lot & our son is good with him & such a little helper.. But then after a hour or so my toddler is extra extra needy .. "Mom you've been cuddling him enough it's my turn to cuddle you" .. "That's my mom not yours" .. Even if a friend at his preschool says hi to me he runs to remind them I'm his mom, not theirs! ONLY CHILD SYDROME!!!
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  • ashs88ashs88 member
    @jgregory0215 I am in the same boat as you! DS just turned 3 and he is so excited to be a big brother. He already says all the time that he loves his baby sister. He LOVES all of the babies at daycare and they keep telling me how helpful he is with the babies and how he's going to be a great big brother. I'm just not sure how he'll be once we have a baby at our house all the time. He's gotten to be so independent lately and will play really well by himself, but I'm betting he won't love that he won't be getting as much attention from us and that we won't be able to drop everything whenever he wants us to play with him or get him a snack or something. I guess it will just be an adjustment for all of us!
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  • trea0025trea0025 member
    Thanks so much for all the great advice! I'm definitely going to get DS a baby doll to carry around, change, dress etc. I think that's a great idea. I'm sure it will be a transition no matter what, but hopefully we can make it as smooth as possible! Good luck everyone!!
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  • AliyaKlAliyaKl member
    My daughter is 4, I took her to my 17 weeks ultrasound , we had a drama however in the following days I would kiss her and tell her stories about her being In my tummy and how after that I didn't have anyone to help me . But now I have her to help me with the baby . She felt important and I see her searching on YouTube how to wash a newborn or brush her hair . I guess the biggest point here is to let them know that they have a huge role to partake in when the baby comes. And yes always be honest children at that age feel dishonesty . I hope it helps but now she asks me everyday when her sister is coming and can't wait to teach her everything she knows
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