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July 2015 Moms
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Anybody have it figured out yet?

randa923randa923 member
in July 2015 Moms
So it's been three months now since I've had this little guy and I still feel like he takes every second of my day. I just don't have it figured out yet. Sure he'll play for about 5 minutes on his mat. Just long enough for me to grab something to eat most days. But I still feel like I'm living on protein bars most days until my hubby gets home. There's no routine (except at bedtime). We're trying to get on a sort of eat-play-sleep routine, but I spend half the time trying to get him to sleep. And during the day I can't move him off of my lap so I spend an hour just sitting (at least he's napping now!). I'm not really looking for advice-just hoping I'm not the only one who doesn't have this even close to figured out yet.
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Re: Anybody have it figured out yet?

  • jmucc421jmucc421 member
    Right there with u! And we are living with my parents so I typically have at least one extra pair of hands and I still can't figure it out. I just keep telling myself to enjoy her now because she won't be little long and someday she won't need me
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  • sdevincisdevinci member
    In the exact same boat! Evetything you said! It's a fight to get DD to nap every day. Hoping it's a phase :-/
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  • LynzwebbLynzwebb member
    I feel the same way! We do eat, play, sleep but I EP so while she plays on her mat, I sit next to her and pump. She only plays long enough for me to pump and then is usually fussy and ready for a nap as soon as I am done. She will only nap if I hold her, so I rock her to sleep and then sit there waiting to do it all again. I have no idea how people do this with more than one kid!
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  • Juliebird8307Juliebird8307 member
    randa923 said:

    @lynzwebb I too have no idea how people do this with more than one kid especially while breastfeeding! I cannot imagine having the time to breastfeed my future second kid. Or play with them. The thought of a second child actually terrifies me right now! People say I'll get over it and forget all of this hard stuff, but I just don't know.

    I am currently breastfeeding my second child with a two year old and it is HARD! Especially since DD2 is a horrible night time sleeper (been trying to get her to bed for 2 hours now). I'm exhausted all the time. It's weird. With my first, I remembered thinking how much easier it got at 3 months. With DD2, I feel like it keeps getting harder. I actually don't think it's harder, but the fact that it isn't getting easier makes it harder because I'm getting more tired and frustrated each day.
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  • eclohoecloho member
    Wow ladies! This makes me feel pretty good! Guess I'm not doing that bad! But I'm sorry to hear some of you are still being held hostage by your LO's (thats how it felt to me) My LO naps during the day, I always get a shower, clothes & make up, & we go out & about almost daily... Usually to the local coffee shop & for a walk. He will do his play mat or swing for sometimes 20-30 minutes (the swing longer cause he usually ends up asleep). Still perpetually behind on housework, but DH tries to help out when he gets home. I agree It's hard somedays to eat more than snacky stuff... Going to a restaurant is easier for me cause LO usually sleeps & someone can make & serve me a full meal!
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  • LacieMacLacieMac member
    ecloho said:

    Wow ladies! This makes me feel pretty good! Guess I'm not doing that bad! But I'm sorry to hear some of you are still being held hostage by your LO's (thats how it felt to me) My LO naps during the day, I always get a shower, clothes & make up, & we go out & about almost daily... Usually to the local coffee shop & for a walk. He will do his play mat or swing for sometimes 20-30 minutes (the swing longer cause he usually ends up asleep). Still perpetually behind on housework, but DH tries to help out when he gets home. I agree It's hard somedays to eat more than snacky stuff... Going to a restaurant is easier for me cause LO usually sleeps & someone can make & serve me a full meal!

    I'm in the same boat. I can still get stuff done but always feel a little behind. No matter what I can get ready and do the things I need to do but not necessarily all the things I want to do in a day. When DH gets home its soooo much easier. He helps so much.
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  • PurpleBookmarkPurpleBookmark member
    We don't have much of a schedule because we're so busy every day. LO only naps in her car seat after a car ride - this usually happens every day but sometimes not. Without the car ride she just doesn't nap but honestly I don't have time to lull her to sleep so she will go between playmat, books on the Boppy with the big kids, tummy time and we go outside with her in the carrier.

    If she stays up all day I don't stress because she's growing, happy and sleeping well at night. I'm sure she could use a nap but for now at least we're just going with the flow.
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  • chrisawchrisaw member
    randa923 said:

    So it's been three months now since I've had this little guy and I still feel like he takes every second of my day. I just don't have it figured out yet. Sure he'll play for about 5 minutes on his mat. Just long enough for me to grab something to eat most days. But I still feel like I'm living on protein bars most days until my hubby gets home. There's no routine (except at bedtime). We're trying to get on a sort of eat-play-sleep routine, but I spend half the time trying to get him to sleep. And during the day I can't move him off of my lap so I spend an hour just sitting (at least he's napping now!). I'm not really looking for advice-just hoping I'm not the only one who doesn't have this even close to figured out yet.

    THIS!! Except mine is almost 10 weeks. People kept telling me to wait until he's 2 months, now they keep saying wait until he's 3 months. Has he gotten better? Yes. But I still feel like im held hostage as @ecloho said. I still haven't been able to shower while it's just LO and I at home. I'm impressed!!! The past month or so, I've been making it a point to go out with him but most days that seems like a huge ordeal. I keep telling myself it will get better but can't help to wonder when this is going to happen and not wish his life away at the same time. I know it's going to come fast enough! It's hard!!
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  • arbell615arbell615 member
    Yes. All of this! I just made a post about wanting to use my brain a little and feeling unable to because LO only sleeps when I hold her. I love her and feel so lucky to be at home with her, but it would be so nice to get a break sometimes. Let me know if you figure it out ladies!
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  • ChristinaWildChristinaWild member
    I thought it was just me who was struggling. I hear all of these stories about babies who go three to four hours between feedings and take two hour naps without a fuss, and I'm here battling 1.5-2 hour feedings and 45 minute naps that sometimes take 30 minutes of settling to get!! It helps knowing I'm not alone in this!!

    Married:09/14/13 
    Baby 1-Born: 7/29/15
    Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
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  • randa923randa923 member
    @ChristinaWild how old is your little one? Mine would only go 1-1.5 (2if I was super lucky) hours between feedings until I got his tongue tie clipped at 11 weeks. Literally within days feedings were stretched out to 3 hours-by him. @ecloho wow! Restaurants? I can't even make it through the drive through without my little man freaking out-and he doesn't mind the car as long as it's moving. I think it will be awhile before we attempt that. For now we can usually get grocery shopping done with a meltdown at checkout. Better then crying through the whole store, right? I gave up trying to shower unless the hubby is home. It works. I'm just happy to know I'm not the only one still struggling. I started back to work last week too. I only work weekends, but I'm gone from 9am-11pm. 11 is if all goes well and I actually leave on time (I'm an ER nurse). Then I come home and my little man wants to nurse for 2hours because he hasn't seen me all day. So now I've only got time to really get things done in the evening. Luckily the hubby gives me a break from the little guy and then makes dinner. He's a good man. :)
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  • HandreeHandree member
    I'm still struggling too. Little man takes hours to settle down at night and doesn't fall asleep until around 11pm and sometimes much later. He is super gassy all the time and we haven't found a formula that helps although we have been trying everything we can think of to help. He cries and fusses pretty much all day but when he's with my MIL or my BFF they say he was a perfect smiling angel all day. Sometimes I think he just doesn't like me very much.
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  • acciocoffeeacciocoffee member
    I just stopped trying to figure her out for now. I feel like she changes every few days into a completely different baby!!! I tried to stretch her feedings to every 3 hours and she actually did really great with it, but then she started waking every 3 hours at night to eat (she used to go 6-8 hours). I was not ok with that, so I currently feed her every 2(ish) hours during the day. Pretty much just anytime she wakes up from a nap. Today, she has thrown two complete crying fits when I put her down for naps and it took me way too long to finally figure out that she just wanted to eat again. Last week, I would have told you that I could always tell when she was crying because she was hungry. So I definitely do not have this whole thing figured out, but I just keep reminding myself that neither does she! She is only 2 months old and I'm pretty sure she has no freaking idea how to be a tiny human. She just knows what she feels (tiredness, hunger, pain), she has no idea what to do about it.
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  • ChristinaWildChristinaWild member
    @randa923 - he's 10 weeks old. I've got an LC coming this weekend to see if we can solve this. It's really the nap situation that's a killer. If he gets a bottle where I can make sure he gets 3.5-4 oz of breastmilk, he sleeps! But when I BF he doesn't, and I'm selfishly not wanting to give up nursing. I should have called an LC earlier but I kept chalking it up to wonder weeks and growth spurts!

    Married:09/14/13 
    Baby 1-Born: 7/29/15
    Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
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  • LynzwebbLynzwebb member
    ChristinaWild said:

    @randa923 - he's 10 weeks old. I've got an LC coming this weekend to see if we can solve this. It's really the nap situation that's a killer. If he gets a bottle where I can make sure he gets 3.5-4 oz of breastmilk, he sleeps! But when I BF he doesn't, and I'm selfishly not wanting to give up nursing. I should have called an LC earlier but I kept chalking it up to wonder weeks and growth spurts!

    I was in the same boat and switched to EP at 7 weeks. It was really hard to make that decision. I totally understand not wanting to give up nursing, and I really miss it. However, once I switched DD was an entirely different baby. She lets me put her down and play with her and sleeps much better. I miss the bond of nursing, but have a happier baby which makes me a happier mommy. I really hope the LC is able to help and you can continue nursing. If not, don't beat yourself up, everything will work out. :)
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  • WowHeyWowHey member
    @Handree your baby loves you! My parents and my husband's parents both tell us how well behaved and happy he is but they don't have to look after him all day and it just so happens he gets upset at different times.
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  • corndogrobotcorndogrobot member
    wheresilenceismusic said:

    LOL  I read the title of this post and I was all, "Yes!!," but then when I read the content, I guess I am in the same boat as all of you.


    Is my apartment dirtier than it was before LO?  Yes.
    Has it been two days since my last shower?  …Yes.
    Do I struggle to get out, to make appointments on time?  Yes.
    Do I now primarily subsist on simple carbs and to-go, snack foods?  Yes.
    Is LO napping on my arms at this very second, pinning me to the couch?  Yes.

    But am I SO MUCH happier than I was pre-baby?  YES!!!

    I would say that I've got my shit figured out, then!
    @wheresilenceismusic
    You've got this this shit figured out!!
    Guess what??!!
    Nobody does.
    And holding your baby all day is as good as it gets. Fuck laundry.
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  • randa923randa923 member
    @ChristinaWild sounds like a poor milk transfer. Ask for a weighted feed. Owen would be fine after a bottle, but not after I fed him. I did a weighted feed and it turned out he was only getting 40ml between both breasts. That's not wven 1.5 ounces! No wonder he was eating every hour! I supplemented after every feeding usually with formula because I had no chance to pump. Once we got the tongue tie clipped it wasn't a problem. He's been great since. My pediatrician (who is actually really great) didn't thinkt it was necessary, but after the hibs and I talked more about it we decided to see a pediatrician ENT anyway. I'm so glad we did. It's really the only reason I'm still nursing. I hope you figure out what if anything is going on. And if you do choose to stop nursing please don't beat yourself up feeling guilty. Your baby will be happy to have food either way promise.
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  • randa923randa923 member
    @Handree I can promise you that you are actually your baby's favorite person! Sometimes If Owen is having a really bad week where he is super fussy I will go to my parents just to have someone else hold him and give me a break and he will be damn near perfect. Drives me crazy. Then my mom always says 'he just wanted nana' well she did raise three kids and already had three grandchildren before my LO so I guess she's got a pretty good touch.
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  • randa923randa923 member
    @WanderingHeart I know how you feel about having a different baby every few days. I swear every day I wake up wondering how my little guy will be today. Will he be happy? Crabby? Take a nap? Scream all day even though he is fed and dry? Will he give me 10 minutes on his play mat so I can shovel in some food? Will he need to be held? One day we'll have a nice routine going the next is pure and utter chaos. It's insane! But you are right they probably aren't sure how to be tiny humans either. I just asked my husband the other night if he thinks Owen has gotten used to wearing clothes yet because he still squirms every time I put a onesie over his head. Lol
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  • randa923randa923 member
    @wheresilenceismusic is music you're 100% right!! Every single one of us has our shit figured out!!

    @corndogrobot holding your baby all day is great! And laundry sucks! But sometimes I've still got to do it. Not today though. Today I held him while he took a 2.5 hour nap on me. I watched him grab his tiny ear and suck his tiny thumb and smile his tiny smile in his sleep and I enjoyed every single second of it. :)
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  • Hopeful715Hopeful715 member
    Oh so glad I'm not the only one feeling this way! I feel so disorganized and ineffectual when it comes to all the things I handled naturally pre-baby (bills/housework/meals/job). With the baby I feel like a horribly slow learner and when she gets all upset, I feel like I'm letting her down. Of course when she smiles, I feel like a million bucks, so that keeps me going when the days are long and hard. I keep wondering how other moms do it, but I think each baby is their own special adventure. I'm pretty happy with mine, even if my previously well-ordered life is a hot mess right now!
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  • nmfranklin00nmfranklin00 member
    Little man has started doing much better with having a long nap in the morning and shorter 30-45 minutes naps after that. So I usually try to take my shower first thing in the morning. However, like today- I wanted extra cuddles so I'm letting him nap on me, so I'll take a speed shower later! (I usually only do one holding nap a day....depending on how fussy he is).

    As far as getting out of the house- I'm kind of like @ecloho and I just force it. He's been to a baptism in Texas, a wedding in Louisiana, up to school with me to sign paperwork/work in my classroom, restaurants, husband's work, Walmart, kohls, hobby lobby, etc.
    Sometimes I wear him, sometimes I carry him, sometimes I leave him in his seat. It all depends.

    I totally get the stir crazy feeling- I had to get out of the house, so I just loaded him up and went. It wasn't as bad as I expected. I just made sure to have a pacifier and a pumped bottle of milk with me at all times! (He still HATES red lights while in the car seat though!)
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  • sarahsairsairsarahsairsair member
    Some days I feel like I've got it together, like when I get ready, make it to the gym, run errands and get the groceries done and manage to make us all a nutritious meal, that even the 3yo will eat ...
    Other days I'm still in my pjs at lunch time and just making sure the two kids survive - that's the only goal
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  • eclohoecloho member
    Wow!! @bnk2012 TWINS!! You are a trooper!! I can't even imagine!!! Not even for a second! Bless you all! :x
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  • mrsrep123mrsrep123 member
    Seriously @bnk2012 mad props to you! DH and I were secretly hoping for twins (even though there aren't any on either side) but I CANT EVEN IMAGINE! It's tough enough with one LO!

    DS1 7/24/15

    DS2 5/7/17

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  • jessieR358jessieR358 member
    edited October 2015
    wheresilenceismusic said:

    LOL  I read the title of this post and I was all, "Yes!!," but then when I read the content, I guess I am in the same boat as all of you.


    Is my apartment dirtier than it was before LO?  Yes.
    Has it been two days since my last shower?  …Yes.
    Do I struggle to get out, to make appointments on time?  Yes.
    Do I now primarily subsist on simple carbs and to-go, snack foods?  Yes.
    Is LO napping on my arms at this very second, pinning me to the couch?  Yes.

    But am I SO MUCH happier than I was pre-baby?  YES!!!

    I would say that I've got my shit figured out, then!
    I'm calling you out after your "I painted an oil painting while LO napped" in the June 15 thread. You have time to paint barn animals but not shower? Hm
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  • njteach0414njteach0414 member
    Makes me feel a lot better! Bedtime we pretty much have down. LO has bath, story time and feeding then bed. He sleeps 8-5 so we are really lucky (and he is exclusively breastfed).

    During the day-bdifferenr story. Things are just so run by what his mood is and how I can get him to nap. He only naps on me usually and flips when I put him down (which is odd because he sleeps so well on his crib at night). I usually can only get him to nap alone if we are running errands. No clue how this is gonna be when I go back to work next month. Nervous and sad that the two to three hours I will have with him when I go back to work will be spend doing a bedtime routine only :(
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  • kfreeman87kfreeman87 member
    @bnk2012 although having twin newborns is by far one of the most difficult things I have done, it does get easier. Now that my twin boys are 2, not that it's not challenging at all, it is definitely mostly fun and exciting. I love that they always have their own built in playmate. It really helps when I am busy with their baby sister that they always have each other. And as they grow and you see the bond they have you will be amazed by them!
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  • wheresilenceismusicwheresilenceismusic member
    @jesshrou -- priorities!!! gotta do what makes you happy. i think that's what having it 'figured out' is all about
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  • LibbyC730LibbyC730 member
    Our LO was born June 10th, but with a due date of July 5, I've stuck around here! LO is getting "easier" and more fun. He's pretty good at keeping himself occupied and isn't rolling or scooting yet, so I can put him on his mat or in his swing and shower, do laundry, etc. for a bit between playing and nursing.
    However, the lack of sleep struggle seems like it's getting worse. I was warned that the first couple months would be pure hell, but I didn't really feel that way--and I love sleep!! However, now that I'm back at work, I feel like I just can't catch up! I forget how many times I get up with LO and I'm fairly sure I tried hitting snooze on the baby monitor the other morning...
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  • babymorgan72015babymorgan72015 member
    edited October 2015
    I'm getting it more figured out by the day. Baby girl is 12 weeks old and I've gotten to the point where we have a routine, the house stays spotless (I'm ocd about that), I get to the gym, cook, shower/makeup, & enjoy some me time. It was definitely not always this good, but little by little I dip a toe into taking on more & more. I'm blessed that even though I've been back at work since 3 weeks pp I've always gotten to bring her with me.

    Eta, also please note I am blessed with a good sleeper who has slept at least 90% of the night since 6 weeks. Once I accepted going to bed within an hour of her life got much better since she sleeps more consistently.
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  • bnk2012bnk2012 member
    @ecloho , @mrsrep123 --thanks for your well wishes :) I like how everyone is doing what they have to do, the best they can for the little ones we were all lucky to have.

    @kfreeman87, thanks for letting me know it'll get easier. I'm excited for the future when they start interacting with each other. I'm so happy they will have eacj other because I don't know what will end up happening to my marriage & don't know if I'll be lucky enough to have more kids. Twins are a lot of work but with big pay outs!
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