Do all OB's hate me?

ladyjoyner · October 2015

I was a high risk case the first time around but I didn't or speak to my previous doctor hardly at all. At the end of that pregnancy it was discovered I had full blown preeclampsia and I was transferred to a high risk hospital where my son passed away at 30 weeks. They were really hateful and I thought maybe it was just the medicine making me perceive things incorrectly. But after getting my full medical records from my lawyer I found that they wrote things like, "Patient is hysterical for no reason. Give 50mg of Vistaril to calm." I was upset because the kicks were lessening and they weren't listening to me. As I was being discharged from the hospital two days later, I got a call from my original OB saying that he was sorry about what had happened but that his nurses didn't even tell him that I had been calling with problems. He promised that if I would get pregnant quickly then he would make things right.

Fast forward to next pregnancy 6 months later. I was thinking of using him again because the hospitals in my area are not wonderful and I have limited options. But as soon as I went to my first appointment it was like nothing had happened before. I was treated the same way and I was told that I am not considered high risk and would not be referred out to Maternal Fetal Medicine for follow up visits. I had been driving 45 mins to an hour to see this doctor and I was shellshocked especially because he had promised me different treatment.

So, I transferred to another OB closer to home. I was not thrilled about delivering at this hospital because I had not had good experiences in the past. But I was already 15 weeks and needed to be seen. Now, I am taking the Makena shot and I have Perinatology nurse visits but if the nurses or I call to tell the doctor something is going on he just shrugs it off and tells me not to worry so much. I feel like I'm bouncing between what the nurses tell me and what the doctor tells me. The last episode has been that I gained 3 pounds in a week and I've had +1 edema in my feet and hands with loss of feeling in my left foot but my BP was at 110/72. So I called in to report the problem and the doctor has been too busy to call me back. They actually called me one time and put me on hold. But I know once I do get on the phone he's going to say there's nothing he can do.

I'm just wondering if there's something about me that doctors don't like because none of my friends deal with this. They just have children and go on with their lives, even if they were high risk. Sometimes we have used the very same doctors and they loved their experiences. Just so confused.

MississippiCatfish · October 2015

I'm sorry for all that's happened. It doesn't sound like your needs for communication and affirmation that everything is alright are going to decrease, and it doesn't sound like the OB's willingness to give those are going to increase. It's probably time to find someone who is willing to go above and beyond.

ladyjoyner · October 2015

I don't really have that option. High risk care in my area is actually pretty terrible. The day my son passed away three other babies also demised because OB's were too busy to deliver. There is no one who really cares I think.

Achae · October 2015

ladyjoyner said:

I don't really have that option. High risk care in my area is actually pretty terrible. The day my son passed away three other babies also demised because OB's were too busy to deliver. There is no one who really cares I think.

A place with that high of a mortality rate would be shut down/investigated and fined so...

brushesnbrunch · October 2015

This might be a stupid question, but did you actually discuss your concerns with both the nursing staff and doctor in person? From the sound of your original post, there was a disconnect of communication between the two if he claims he wasn't given the messages.....There just seems to be pieces not fitting together in this...

mcklough · October 2015

where are you OP?

ladyjoyner · October 2015

South GA

ladyjoyner · October 2015

@brushesnbrunch I had discussed my concerns with all parties in person. They simply did not care. During the last pregnancy, when I would call in, they would say things like, well if you're concerned you need to drive here. Then when I would get to the office they would ask, "Why did you even come?" To which I would reply "Because you told me to!" And they just shrugged it off. It was the weirdest thing I had ever seen.

VitaLuna · October 2015

I feel like there are a lot of pieces missing here, some issues with perception, and some major communication problems. I suggest you sit down with your OB and talk about this (all of it) to see how you can improve things.

Assuming everything you said above is fact and not perception, did you file (and win) a medical malpractice suit?

DrillSergeantCat · October 2015

I highly doubt they hate you, but are you being a difficult patient?

ladyjoyner · October 2015

@VitaLuna We are in the process of the suit. It has taken some time to find a lawyer who would take on a large hospital. But we found one and he has a good track record with infant death.

ladyjoyner · October 2015

@DrillSergeantCat I don't believe I am. And my home care nurses don't believe I am. If they tell me they believe there is a problem then I call the doctor per instruction and it's like I'm bothering them. For example, I've had two kidney stones this pregnancy and both were originally diagnosed as round ligament pain and that I was just overly sensitive to pain. After what happened last time, I am trying to be as careful as I can because I ignored a lot of things last time because the provider didn't feel they were actual issues and again I didn't want to bother him.

VitaLuna · October 2015

ladyjoyner said:
The day my son passed away three other babies also demised because OB's were too busy to deliver. There is no one who really cares I think.

I'm really confused. How do you know this information?

ladyjoyner · October 2015

@VitaLuna my parents in law were with my husband and I while we were at the hospital. They would walk the halls and speak to other grandparents or family members who were having the same problems we were.

VitaLuna · October 2015

Did you report these concerns?

ladyjoyner · October 2015

Yes, I reported it the hospital, to the patient satisfaction clerk who called me, to the emergency room dept who referred me there, and to the March of Dimes. But it seems like everything was swept under the rug. I even attempted speaking to the physician who delivered my baby at the high risk hospital but she would not explain why she waited so long to deliver (a whole day) even after a clot had been located. Her nurse's response was "Just review the medical records and you'll understand."

Achae · October 2015

Good luck with your law suit, hopefully they can investigate since apparently nothing has been done.

VitaLuna · October 2015

I mean did you report the hospital. If four babies truly died in one day due to negligence, why didn't you report it to any of the hospital regulating/accrediting bodies (CMS, Joint Commission, state authorities, etc)? Or discuss with the patient advocate?

And when did this clot come into play? You mentioned you were high risk because of pre-E.

ladyjoyner · October 2015

The preeclampsia caused a large clot during a blood pressure spike which caused my son to slowly suffocate. I did not know those were options to me. I did speak to a patient representative but as I stated nothing was done. The hospital is still up and running just fine.

brushesnbrunch · October 2015

ladyjoyner said:

The preeclampsia caused a large clot during a blood pressure spike which caused my son to slowly suffocate. I did not know those were options to me. I did speak to a patient representative but as I stated nothing was done. The hospital is still up and running just fine.

I'm not saying that absolutely nothing was done, because I have no idea, but if some sort of action was taken, you may not necessarily know about it. There could be things rolling behind the scenes they don't share, such as staff transfers, etc.

VitaLuna · October 2015

If you believe these deaths were negligence, you can (still) report it. I'm surprised your lawyer didn't mention it? I also agree with @brushesnbrunch they may have taken action on their side (doctor firing clinic staff, etc) that you aren't aware of.

Like I said in my original response, I would encourage you to have a sit down with your OB and talk about these things. Sure, he/she can't fix your experience from last time, but it can help them understand your needs and where you're coming from this time. At the end of the day, the patient has to be accountable for their care, too.

pbtoast · October 2015

Just curious, OP, why do you have a home care nurse? Maybe if they are familiar with working with high-risk OB patients, they would know of other options for high-risk providers in the area?

ladyjoyner · October 2015

The new doctor I transferred to told me that perinatology nurses were available to me. I was thrilled to use their services since I didn't have that option last time and I trust their opinion almost more than I trust the physician's. They've been in business for over 14 years. Unfortunately, they agree that high risk care is really bad in this area and getting doctors to take you seriously not as easy as you would hope. Also, I have been told by Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors that regular OB's do not like using MFM's because they prefer to handle their own cases which is why not many referrals are given. It tends to be a control issue. And many MFM's are leaving our area because of this.

egraves4 · October 2015

I mean how south are we talking here... I live in Georgia and I know we got some po-dunk towns here but....

DrillSergeantCat · October 2015

ladyjoyner said:

The new doctor I transferred to told me that perinatology nurses were available to me. I was thrilled to use their services since I didn't have that option last time and I trust their opinion almost more than I trust the physician's. They've been in business for over 14 years. Unfortunately, they agree that high risk care is really bad in this area and getting doctors to take you seriously not as easy as you would hope. Also, I have been told by Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors that regular OB's do not like using MFM's because they prefer to handle their own cases which is why not many referrals are given. It tends to be a control issue. And many MFM's are leaving our area because of this.

Perinatology and MFM are the same thing so I'm confused. Why would your doctor refer you to perinatology nurses (are these what you're calling home health nurses?) but you claim to have problems with him not referring you to a perinatologist?

MississippiCatfish · October 2015

Since you value the opinion of the home care nurses, and since they know you and we do not, maybe you should consider asking them what you should do next. I would also suggest asking whether they feel that your anxiety is under control without medication (as you mentioned in a previous thread you had stopped taking), as that might be slanting your negative perception of any and all OB care available to you at this time. As an RN, this is something I would be honest with a patient about if asked.

Ju111310 · October 2015

This whole situation sounds bizarre. Too much missing info to get a good picture of what's going on. I'm very sorry you lost your previous baby. As far as the 3 lb weight gain in one week and swelling, your BP was totally fine so your dr was not being dismissive in saying there was nothing he could do. In fact, there was likely nothing to be done about your weight gain and swelling. Lots of women experience swelling during pregnancy that is NOT related to pre-e, I'm sure your anxiety is heightened due to PGAL brain. As PP suggested, I would try to discuss your anxiety with your dr and be sure it is controlled.

On the topic of the other fetal demises on the day you lost your son, there is absolutely no way for you to know that these cases were due to negligence. Hallway gossip is not reliable info. Spreading malicious gossip like that is not helpful to anyone involved. Many patients and families want to find someone to place the blame on when something tragic like that happens. Hopefully your lawyer will get to the bottom of your particular case. If it is widely known that you're in the middle of a lawsuit with the hospital, I'm sure any health care provider is going to tiptoe around you. This may not seem fair, but we're all scared of being sued. I'm particularly wary of patients that are already involved in litigation. Thoughts and prayers to you.

DrillSergeantCat · October 2015

ladyjoyner said:

I was a high risk case the first time around but I didn't or speak to my previous doctor hardly at all. At the end of that pregnancy it was discovered I had full blown preeclampsia and I was transferred to a high risk hospital where my son passed away at 30 weeks. They were really hateful and I thought maybe it was just the medicine making me perceive things incorrectly. But after getting my full medical records from my lawyer I found that they wrote things like, "Patient is hysterical for no reason. Give 50mg of Vistaril to calm." I was upset because the kicks were lessening and they weren't listening to me. As I was being discharged from the hospital two days later, I got a call from my original OB saying that he was sorry about what had happened but that his nurses didn't even tell him that I had been calling with problems. He promised that if I would get pregnant quickly then he would make things right.

Fast forward to next pregnancy 6 months later. I was thinking of using him again because the hospitals in my area are not wonderful and I have limited options. But as soon as I went to my first appointment it was like nothing had happened before. I was treated the same way and I was told that I am not considered high risk and would not be referred out to Maternal Fetal Medicine for follow up visits. I had been driving 45 mins to an hour to see this doctor and I was shellshocked especially because he had promised me different treatment.

So, I transferred to another OB closer to home. I was not thrilled about delivering at this hospital because I had not had good experiences in the past. But I was already 15 weeks and needed to be seen. Now, I am taking the Makena shot and I have Perinatology nurse visits but if the nurses or I call to tell the doctor something is going on he just shrugs it off and tells me not to worry so much. I feel like I'm bouncing between what the nurses tell me and what the doctor tells me. The last episode has been that I gained 3 pounds in a week and I've had +1 edema in my feet and hands with loss of feeling in my left foot but my BP was at 110/72. So I called in to report the problem and the doctor has been too busy to call me back. They actually called me one time and put me on hold. But I know once I do get on the phone he's going to say there's nothing he can do.

I'm just wondering if there's something about me that doctors don't like because none of my friends deal with this. They just have children and go on with their lives, even if they were high risk. Sometimes we have used the very same doctors and they loved their experiences. Just so confused.

QFP just in case

CuriousKiddosMama · October 2015

Sorry for your previous experience and your loss.
I would consider going with another ob since you are frustrated with your current one. Also, I know you said care is bad, but if you get dismissed over the phone and don't feel
Right about it, I would have no problem going into labor and delivery at the hospital to be monitored. I was pgal last time and there are just some times it's worth it. I called the nurse at the ob they said the first time after x weeks if I have spotting or bad cramps like I was complaining about to go into labor and delivery. I ended up going in 3 times, and the second two I just called the office to tell them this is what I'm experiencing again and that I'm going in. The bills were totally worth the piece of mind, in my opinion.

VitaLuna · October 2015

Can I also suggest that you start taking someone with you to appointments? They may be able to help you differentiate between perceptions from your past experiences, and realities of these interactions. They also can help advocate for you as a more neutral party if that seems necessary. A level-headed friend, a doula, someone like that (not your parents or family members, since they were emotionally invested in your previous loss).

To @Ju111310's point, I had 3-4+ pitting edema my last pregnancy. I had no signs of pre-e, BP was normal, etc. it's just one of those things sometimes.

If it would help you feel more resolve towards the previous situation, I'd encourage you to report your concerns (to help get it off your shoulders). Know that sentinel events are required to be reported, though, and if a hospital had responsibility for so many deaths, they would be shut down. Accreditation is strict, citations and warnings are given liberally, and in my experience, no staff would allow a long history negligent fetal deaths to be swept under the rug. Again, if you feel that is what happened, you should report it to get it off your shoulders.

I hope you can find a solution so this doesn't wear on you your whole pregnancy.

Sunshine&rain · October 2015

I second the thought of taking someone with you to your appointments. Two heads, two sets of ears, are better than one!

tod123 · October 2015

Are you able to get to Emory?

ewhitledge · October 2015

Are you a medical professional? I find it strange to hear descriptors like '1+ edema' and fetal 'demise' outside the hospital. Even I don't use these words outside of work, I say my feet are swollen or the baby passed away. I ask this because im trying to piece together the situation here with limited information. I'm so very sorry for your loss and I can understand why you would be more cautious in future pregnancies. Are you calling your physician with concerns daily? I'm wondering if this is the situation and it's causing a 'cried wolf' type situation and that is why you're not feeling like you're not being taken seriously.

egraves4 · October 2015

tod123 said:
Are you able to get to Emory?

If she lives in south GA I highly doubt she would be able to get to Emory... I'm assuming by south she means at least below Macon which would already be probably over an hour drive. Just a thought.

loveymay · October 2015

Lurker from April '16

OP, I live I in South Ga too, like the Southest you can get, lol. Most of my female family members have all used the same Dr and delivered at the same hospital. This hospital is only 25 min away from where we live, however last year my cousin had pre-eclampsia (sp?) And was induced 3 weeks early. The night she was induced, her BP kept skyrocketing to the point the staff were afraid she would start seizing. Her Dr continued to allow her to labor through the night on into the next day. By 5pm the next day, he finally took her back for a section, where she bled profusely and they were not able to stop it. She had to be immediately transferred to a larger hospital that was able to handle emergencies like that. Her baby was fine but had to stay at the hospital he was born in. Her dr said he was "concerned for her life." She was admitted to a hospital an hour away where she stayed for 3 days. Luckily she recovered, but her experience swayed my decision when finding an OB. My Dr is truly amazing and I will deliver at an incredible hospital that unfortunately is a little over an hour away (and out of state, in FL). But I feel secure knowing that this hospital will be able to handle any emergency that may arise. I don't know where you live, but if at all possible, consider going to a different Dr/hospital even if it is a bit further away. I am very sorry for your previous loss and while I don't know the whole story, I do think your Dr should be more patient and understanding given your situation. Prayers for a healthy pregnancy and delivery of your little one!

Katty422 · October 2015

Go to the hospital if you are really worried and looking for answers. I'm sorry for your loss at 30 weeks that must have been awful!

oxfordlanding · October 2015

Do you have the option of a midwife? I am in Canada so might be different but I changed from a doctor, who was fine but not very communicative, to midwives and it was like night and day. They will happily chat on the phone for over half an hour and don't insist I come in every time I want to speak with them. The doctor wouldnt take phone calls which was frustrating when I just had a quick question. Also it meant they could properly assess if I did need to come in. I'm so sorry for your loss.

yeahbaby2016 · October 2015

Sounds like you've had a terrible experience so far, I would find a new Dr if possible!!

I was seeing my regular Dr and she didn't want to send me to high risk Dr until I was much further along (previous preeclampsia, but good so far in this pregnancy, didn't want to take up time of high risk Dr since there are only 2 in my city) Anyways I was positive for gestational diabetes and quite overwhelmed with it and she didn't know what to do with me so finally referred me and what a difference - apparently need a specialty ultrasound (because of last pregnancy) should be taking baby aspirin, needed to start taking insulin etc. getting a good High risk Dr has done wonders for my mental health, and definitely changed my care.

Definitely get the nurses to recommend a new Dr.

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