May 2016 Moms

My Story of Loss x

I'm a great believer in fate and this pregnancy for me has come to the end of its road.

I found out I was pregnancy two weeks ago and was so so excited. We conceived after two cycles of trying and couldn't believe it. I felt like I was flying high and so did my family.

On Saturday, my emotions took a turn, i became weepy and unsettled. My back and sides started to ache and I started spotting old blood but I just knew something was wrong. Everyone told me it's normal and not to worry but my heart told me otherwise.

As well as spotting brown blood, i.had cramping after sex with pink blood and after bowel.movements.

My bleeding and cramps stepped up a notch on Tuesday so I saw my GP on Wednesday morning who referred me to the hospital. I had a scan and although my midwife had worked out that I was 8 weeks from my dates, my little bunch of love was only showing as 4-5 weeks. The only way to see the scan was to have an internal examination and when the midwife pulled out the examiner she could see it was covered in blood however she reassured me it was old blood. Even though instinct was telling me otherwise. She booked me in for an appointment in two weeks to see if the pregnancy had grown.

Last night I couldn't sleep as the bleeding and cramps intensified. The blood was now a brighter red and I started passing small clots. My stomach felt like it was being scoured with a brillo pad. Then this morning the bleeding intensified once more and I had slight diarrhea. Unfortunately on passing this I also felt tge pregnancy leave me. As soon as I felt it, i knew it was over. I gathered it out of the toilet and can confirm it looks like a dark brown protein. It's hard and unmistakable.

I phoned the hospital who were very unsympathetic and useless and said I have to go in in two weeks to check everything is OK. When I asked what does this mean she wouldn't verify, so I asked do you mean to say check if the miscarriage had completed and she said yes.

Of course at this point I was in pieces but luckily phoned up my GP who talked me through everything with a lot of support and so thoroughly exactly what I needed at that time.

I am happy to say, that I am pleased to have gone through this pregnancy. I am pleased to know i am fertile, pleased to know i can conceive and happy to know that the path I am on is one hundred percent what I want. I feel wiser in so many ways and will stick around these boards to watch you all grow and cant wait to see what the future holds xxx

Re: My Story of Loss x

  • I'm so sorry :( You have a very strong outlook, which is amazing.
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  • Wow. I'm speechless. Women like you are the ones I look up to and get strength from. I have had 2 miscarriages in the last year and a half with no successful ones. I'm currently pregnant with my 3rd, and things don't look too promising, but I'm still hopeful. I should be 7 weeks 3 days, and the doctor can't see anything. I haven't bled like I did with the other 2, so I still have faith that it may work out. She says I looks about 5 weeks, and I don't see a sac or anything. I'm going in today for a transvaginal Ultrasound to get a better idea of what's going on. I'm hoping my dates are off and that it's still too early to tell. Thank you for posting this, because my heart still tells me to keep trying. I pray for success in your future!!
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. This is heartbreaking. I wish you all the best.
  • I'm really sorry. You sound like a very positive person and that's really going to help you get through this. Good luck with TTC, whenever you decide to try again!
    Together for 8 years, married for 2 <img class=" /> Lilu


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  • I'm sorry for you loss.
  • I'm so sorry. Thought and prayers to you and your family as you heal and try again. You have such a strong and positive outlook!
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Your strength and positive outlook amaze me. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.

     

    Me 31 DH 41

    TTC #1 since August 2014
    RE August 2015
    Surprise BFP! September 1, 2015
    IT'S A GIRL!!!
    Baby Eden born 5/11/16 <3<3<3



  • I am very sorry for your loss.  I want to tell you that I love your optimism. I lost a baby at 20 weeks.  It was my first pregnancy and saying we were devastated is an understatement.  My OB told me it was a freak thing that happened, and that me and my husband would go on to have many healthy children.  He was right. And I always think, if I hadn't have lost that baby, it would be impossible for my daughter to be here...so everything happens for a reason.  <3
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  • I'm very sorry for your loss



    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

    BFP 1: 9/15/2013 | DD 5/23/2014
    BFP 2: 9/15/2015 | EDD 5/26/2016

  • Thanks everybody, we all have strength in one another! I'm quite weepy this evening but my partner is a star and he is really getting us both through this. Your kind words also mean a lot!

    @amillette93 please let me know how your scan goes, I have my fingers crossed for you xx

    @asummerbride that is such a wonderful way to look at things. Your daughter now is your most precious gift of all xx
  • I am so sorry... These posts break my heart. I have been through a loss and know how difficult it is. You seem like such a wonderful person, and it's so nice to know you have a wonderful partner as well. Your outlook on this is inspiring. I truly wish you all the best. ❤️
  • I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You have an amazing outlook on life. Sending prayers your way.
    DS #1 2010
    DS #2 2011
    DS #3 2014
    DS #4 2016
  • I am so sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing it with us. We grieve with you :(
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