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October 2015 Moms
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Will I be a good mom?

katie&brandon3725katie&brandon3725 member
in October 2015 Moms
Hello! My name is Katie and I am now 37 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm 25 years old, married for almost a year and a half but been with him for 5 years. We planned this baby, I actually had to take clonus to help get us pregnant. Anyways, even though this was planned and EXACTLY what I wanted I'm still terrified. First I hate pain (who really likes it) so I'm terrified wolf labor itself and how I will handle it physically and emotionally. And second, I'm honestly terrified to be a mom now! Which is crazy because it's what Iv always wanted. I feel like now that that big moment is closer I have no "motherly instincts " I feel like Iv forgotten everything and will need a baby 101 class to take. Is that really normal? I get some nerves are normal but really thinking you CANT be a good mother? She is still what I want (baby girl) and I am truly excited to meet her but I want to be the best I can be for her. I look up stuff online like how to get them to sleep and feeding and such but I feel like I can't retain anything these days. It's frustrating! Help calm my nerves pleeeeease
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Re: Will I be a good mom?

  • basdenjn6basdenjn6 member
    I'm 11 years older than you and a teacher, so I take care of kids daily, and I feel the same way. I have friends who are great moms who have multiple children and they still wonder if they are doing the right thing on a daily basis. The fact that you're even worried about being a good mom is a sign that you're going to be a good mom. I think these fears and doubts are just part of the package. Its your brain getting you ready to be hyper aware for this new little person who's on their way. It's a big deal to take care of another person, just relax and know that you ARE going to make mistakes because there is no way to be perfect. Just love your little one and do the best you can. It's going to be great! Good luck!
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  • BRBaby1012BRBaby1012 member
    Just remember that women have been doing this for thousands of years... many without the knowledge, skills, resources, and awareness that you bring to the table. We will ALL make mistakes as new mamas... the main things are to keep our babies safe, healthy, and loved. :)
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  • shantyraeshantyrae member
    I think it's very natural to get cold feet at this time! And just the fact that you're worried about being a good mom says a lot - just let it all come naturally. Good luck!
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  • kim1228kim1228 member
    I am right there with  you! SO nervous! I think an indication that we will be good mamas though is that we are concerned that we will be! Its not like we are just chillen and don't care or not...we care, so we'll do a great job caring for our little ones! 

    My mom always reminds me...babies are tough, not too much we can do to mess them up :) Natural instinct will kick in! 
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  • MrsDodge39MrsDodge39 member
    I think this is totally normal!  I grew up around a ton of kids (my mom did daycare and had 8 kids in the house at all times, I babysat, I nannied full time after college, worked with special education kids, worked in an after school program) and it took us a total of 28 months and 3 fertility treatments to get pregnant and I've still had freak-out moments lately!  Like others have said, the fact that you're worried at all shows that you will be a great mom.  One of my mom friends gave me a good piece of advice one time when I was worrying.  She said something along the lines of "you'll do a great job because you're his mom and you're the one he needs".  I thought it was really sweet and think of it when I'm feeling stressed.  None of us will be perfect (even the best parent out there isn't), but we will love our babies and they will be just fine!


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  • kayway85kayway85 member
    On my experience, moms who care enough about their kids to contemplate what kind of parents they will be are usually great moms, because they are conscious of the choices they are making and have the desire to be a good mom. Will it be tough sometimes? Sure. The beginning is a tough adjustment for most women because it changes your life in such a fundamental way, it's hard to prepare for something like that. But as long as you keep asking yourself, "how am I doing? How do I feel about motherhood and the choices I'm making?" You're going to be a great mom.
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  • TelebellTelebell member
    Normal! We all feel this way. I guess we'll find out in 18 years whether we were good moms :)
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  • 1stComesLove4211stComesLove421 member
    You'll do great. Reading that you're so worried now, is proof enough that you care and love her. Don't worry mama, we all go through these feelings of doubt. Even us 2nd time moms!
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  • rms924rms924 member
    kayway85 said:

    On my experience, moms who care enough about their kids to contemplate what kind of parents they will be are usually great moms, because they are conscious of the choices they are making and have the desire to be a good mom. Will it be tough sometimes? Sure. The beginning is a tough adjustment for most women because it changes your life in such a fundamental way, it's hard to prepare for something like that. But as long as you keep asking yourself, "how am I doing? How do I feel about motherhood and the choices I'm making?" You're going to be a great mom.

    This. 100%. As the daughter of a mother who felt she was perfect (far from it), I think as long as you are self aware, you're miles ahead of those who think they are great mothers but never reflect etc.
    Me: 34 DH:38
    DS: 18 months   <3
    Dx DOR AMH .2
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img 
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