Is it weird??

Qbanrican84 · October 2015

Ok, so I know I'm only 6 weeks along, but I'm already having anxiety about how far new baby's room is away from our room.

I told my husband that I want to knock down the wall that connects our room (in the closet) and turn it into a second entry to that room, so that we can have direct access to the room, and not have to go around the long path to get there. I just feel like we're leaving baby "to the wolves" if we don't do that lol, am I being paranoid?

Also, on another note, I'm new to these boards...how do I put one of those cute tickers as my signature? Every time I tried, it failed lol. I don't know how else to do it.

Thanks!

katykatykaty · October 2015

Could you put the baby in your room for a while instead? That way he/she would be older when moved to his/her own room.

lest12 · October 2015

I think it depends. DS slept in our bedroom for the first 3-4 months. He was waking up every two hours and very clearly just wanted to be near me. We would have never lasted with him in his own bedroom.

Once he started sleeping longer, though, he got more independent and the nursery was better - I think there was too much going on in our bedroom between me, dh and our dog.

The nursery is down the hall but it's not like, that big of a hallway. He's OK. I did live by my video monitor for a while though.

So I guess it depends. Do you plan on having him in your room at first? Because then you might be ok with not knocking down a wall. However, I don't know your house layout and if you think that works best, then go for it.

daphne814 · October 2015

It's not weird, but rather than tearing down walls I'd probably get a co-sleeper or bassinet for your bedroom until baby is older

Qbanrican84 · October 2015

Yea, I'm planning on getting a co-sleeper for the first couple of months for sure...but even this morning, I was thinking up until what age I would want that second entrance to that room to make me feel more secure about it, and I couldn't go any lower than like 3 or 4 years old...I think I'm going to be a helicopter mom lol

katykatykaty · October 2015

Qbanrican84 said:

Yea, I'm planning on getting a co-sleeper for the first couple of months for sure...but even this morning, I was thinking up until what age I would want that second entrance to that room to make me feel more secure about it, and I couldn't go any lower than like 3 or 4 years old...I think I'm going to be a helicopter mom lol

Yeah, a 3 or 4 year old will have zero interest staying in their room if it's connected to your room. Have you looked at video monitors? That might be another good option.

vinerie · October 2015

So this relates to an issue I keep thinking about myself. Our house has the master bedroom on the first floor. All other bedrooms are on the second floor. The more I think about this, there more pessimistic I get about how this will ever work. Issues I see:

1) When LO is sleeping in our room and wakes up for a feeding/needs to be changed, will I have to pick up baby and walk all the way upstairs to the nursery to do it so as not to wake up my H (or me, if he is the one doing it that time?) If so, is it even safe to walk half asleep upstairs while holding a newborn??

2) After LO moves to his/her own bedroom, will I be able to handle having them not just in a different room, but all the way upstairs and down the hall? Isn't waking up and walking upstairs going to get old?

3) Once LO is older, and has a bad dream/wets bed/needs me for some reason, are they going to get out of bed, walk all the way down the stairs and come into my room to say "Mommy and Daddy, I'm scared." That seems like a lot...and unsafe!

Ugh. Who designed the house this way and why?!!!?!?!

lest12 · October 2015

OP, I'm trying to think, because my side of the bed is on the far side of the bedroom, so I have to walk around my bed, to the bedroom door, then down the hallway, and into my son's room, and it can't take more than 30 seconds. He's only 16 months, but other than when he is sleeping, there's not much time he spends in his room without one of us supervising. An extra door would seem like a bit much for me personally...

lest12 · October 2015

vinerie said:

So this relates to an issue I keep thinking about myself. Our house has the master bedroom on the first floor. All other bedrooms are on the second floor. The more I think about this, there more pessimistic I get about how this will ever work. Issues I see:

1) When LO is sleeping in our room and wakes up for a feeding/needs to be changed, will I have to pick up baby and walk all the way upstairs to the nursery to do it so as not to wake up my H (or me, if he is the one doing it that time?) If so, is it even safe to walk half asleep upstairs while holding a newborn??
2) After LO moves to his/her own bedroom, will I be able to handle having them not just in a different room, but all the way upstairs and down the hall? Isn't waking up and walking upstairs going to get old?
3) Once LO is older, and has a bad dream/wets bed/needs me for some reason, are they going to get out of bed, walk all the way down the stairs and come into my room to say "Mommy and Daddy, I'm scared." That seems like a lot...and unsafe!

Ugh. Who designed the house this way and why?!!!?!?!

@vinerie - I get the concern. Here are a few of my thoughts.

1 - You will just feed the baby in your room, or maybe on the couch near the kitchen if you are formula feeding and have to go put a bottle together. In the middle of the night, you're not going to want to be going up and downstairs. And not because you are concerned about safety, but because you will be totally exhausted.

2 - This will be tough and it might depend on how well your baby sleeps. Some babies start STTN really early, and it might be a non-issue for you. Other babies wake up every 4 hours, and you might crash on a bed in one of the other rooms in between.

3 - Depending on the age, I think you'll have safety gates up where necessary and a video monitor will help - you can go to them! Hopefully.

I hope that helps. Just my two cents!

Qbanrican84 · October 2015

That's true...I've thought about video monitors, I just feel like i'll be up every 3 seconds staring at the screen LOL realistically, I know I'll probably be too exhausted to do that...I guess I'm just a worry wart.

vinerie · October 2015

lest12 Thanks for the thoughts! My husband has suggested moving our bedroom temporarily upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms, which we may do. But if we do that and the LO gets used to us being there, it could be rough for him/her to see us move back downstairs. I don't know what we're going to do!

Qbanrican84 · October 2015

vinerie said:

So this relates to an issue I keep thinking about myself. Our house has the master bedroom on the first floor. All other bedrooms are on the second floor. The more I think about this, there more pessimistic I get about how this will ever work. Issues I see:

1) When LO is sleeping in our room and wakes up for a feeding/needs to be changed, will I have to pick up baby and walk all the way upstairs to the nursery to do it so as not to wake up my H (or me, if he is the one doing it that time?) If so, is it even safe to walk half asleep upstairs while holding a newborn??
2) After LO moves to his/her own bedroom, will I be able to handle having them not just in a different room, but all the way upstairs and down the hall? Isn't waking up and walking upstairs going to get old?
3) Once LO is older, and has a bad dream/wets bed/needs me for some reason, are they going to get out of bed, walk all the way down the stairs and come into my room to say "Mommy and Daddy, I'm scared." That seems like a lot...and unsafe!

Ugh. Who designed the house this way and why?!!!?!?!

Lol...aw
Yea, see I would be feeling the exact same way as yourself right now if I had 2 floors. I feel like my house does, but it's because it's so long! It's not just a regular hallway that connects the rooms. I would have to go from my bed to the door (we have a huge room, about double the size of a normal master bedroom), then go through the kitchen, walk into the living room, then down the hall to baby's room.

lest12 · October 2015

I think the worrying is really normal. FFTC - I would stay up and stare at my video monitor all the time. I would see if I could see the baby's chest rising and falling to make sure he was breathing.

I know that sounds insane but I couldn't help it (and I don't think I'm the only mom with that habit!)

I understand your worry but I don't know if the door is necessary... and like a PP had said, at some point they'll want to use the door to come in your room when you want them to stay where they are! It couldn't hurt to try having them sleep in your room and then see how you feel once they're in their own space before putting the door in. If the baby is in their own room for a while and you still feel uncomfortable, you can always do it then

Qbanrican84 · October 2015

lest12 said:

I think the worrying is really normal. FFTC - I would stay up and stare at my video monitor all the time. I would see if I could see the baby's chest rising and falling to make sure he was breathing.
I know that sounds insane but I couldn't help it (and I don't think I'm the only mom with that habit!)

I understand your worry but I don't know if the door is necessary... and like a PP had said, at some point they'll want to use the door to come in your room when you want them to stay where they are! It couldn't hurt to try having them sleep in your room and then see how you feel once they're in their own space before putting the door in. If the baby is in their own room for a while and you still feel uncomfortable, you can always do it then

Yep, I can totally see myself doing that too lol...
That makes sense! I think I might do that...just test it out first and then put in the door if I still feel uncomfortable about it...

mrstmoose · October 2015

I wouldn't go knocking wall down by any means. I would invest in a good video monitor and a pack n' play/bassinet/co-sleeper for the first few weeks/months.

@vinerie you crack me up! I have no real suggestions other than what has already been added. Just remember, when they are teenagers, you will probably love having them upstairs!

finnybooboo · October 2015

Our daughter slept in our room until about 6-7 months (I think - life those first few months is now a blur). Once she moved to her crib, we just got the video monitor hooked up and all was good. It honestly took me until she was 18+ months to actually turn the screen off (but still have sound) I was always paranoid. She's about to turn 2 and in a toddler bed and I'm still struggling about getting rid of the monitor lol

lest12 · October 2015

@finnybooboo - I wonder when I'll ever get rid of the monitor myself. DS will be 22 months when this baby gets here and I assume I will buy another camera to sync to the monitor... but I could probably save myself the $ and just use the one we have for the baby... but that seems so crazy to me.

finnybooboo · October 2015

lest12 said:

@finnybooboo - I wonder when I'll ever get rid of the monitor myself. DS will be 22 months when this baby gets here and I assume I will buy another camera to sync to the monitor... but I could probably save myself the $ and just use the one we have for the baby... but that seems so crazy to me.

I agree! We're actually using a reallllly old one that my sister let us have from her kids (10 years ago) and it's huge, and black and white, and is starting to not work so well. Since we have pretty much all of the "big things" from last time, we're going to take any gift cards, etc we get and purchase a new monitor system. I'm debating on getting one that allows you to scan both rooms at once. It's so dumb, she does fine at night and I rarely have to look at it anymore.
:-S

schicksal · October 2015

Ours is also a bit of a hike between the two rooms so either putting the crib or a bassinet in our room are options under consideration. Hopefully it works out, it's what my parents did way back when.

vinerie · October 2015

Ok, so these answers and anecdotes all raise another question:

If LO sleeps in your room for a couple to several months, then what function does the nursery serve? Also, and related: When does the nursery become LO's bedroom (and once this transition happens, must the nursery be redecorated?)

Also important: If a nursery is then rendered moot, should I reconsider these incredibly awesome Charley Harper bird stickers I wanted to use as part of my modern/nature motif idea?

https://www.signals.com/cgi-bin/hazel.cgi?ACTION=DETAIL&ITEM=HT4572&websource=GOOGLSH&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=PLA&coupon_code=SIGGOOGLE7&gclid=CjwKEAjw4s2wBRDSnr2jwZenlkgSJABvFcwQ1gtkl6nhzdSAUbV54-x5_lkkbVhMxcLKAHDGiUfXdxoCUKPw_wcB

Bltbear82 · October 2015

DS slept in our room for 3 months and then moved. Granted his room shares a wall with our room so he wasn't far at all. But I totally still stare at the video monitor sometimes. And make sure he's breathing etc. I don't think that goes away ever?!

But to the question about the function of the nursery, I wish someone had told me that setting it up for a baby was all for me and not to get so obsessed with it. DS is 19 months and we've already "redone" his room to make it more toddler friendly. I basically rearranged everything, made it a more open space for him to run around and actually store some toys in his room. Ooh and we put up a tent from Land of Nod. His room is actually pretty cool, too bad we aren't moving and have a 2 bedroom because I'll have to rearrange again once this LO is ready to move in!

mrstmoose · October 2015

vinerie said:

Ok, so these answers and anecdotes all raise another question:

If LO sleeps in your room for a couple to several months, then what function does the nursery serve? Also, and related: When does the nursery become LO's bedroom (and once this transition happens, must the nursery be redecorated?)

Also important: If a nursery is then rendered moot, should I reconsider these incredibly awesome Charley Harper bird stickers I wanted to use as part of my modern/nature motif idea?

https://www.signals.com/cgi-bin/hazel.cgi?ACTION=DETAIL&ITEM=HT4572&websource=GOOGLSH&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=PLA&coupon_code=SIGGOOGLE7&gclid=CjwKEAjw4s2wBRDSnr2jwZenlkgSJABvFcwQ1gtkl6nhzdSAUbV54-x5_lkkbVhMxcLKAHDGiUfXdxoCUKPw_wcB

I still plan on trying to get my LO to nap during the day. I know it's awhile until he/she is here and life may change that. But you still put all of their things there/changing table/clothes/etc. I plan on painting the walls a neutral color to where we won't have to repaint, but maybe hang up different wall hangings. To me, a nursery is a bedroom and will probably call it their bedroom but I would assume when they move to a bed other than a crib.

And hang the Charlier Harper bird stickers!

kbrands7 · October 2015

vinerie said:

Ok, so these answers and anecdotes all raise another question:

If LO sleeps in your room for a couple to several months, then what function does the nursery serve? Also, and related: When does the nursery become LO's bedroom (and once this transition happens, must the nursery be redecorated?)

Also important: If a nursery is then rendered moot, should I reconsider these incredibly awesome Charley Harper bird stickers I wanted to use as part of my modern/nature motif idea?

https://www.signals.com/cgi-bin/hazel.cgi?ACTION=DETAIL&ITEM=HT4572&websource=GOOGLSH&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=PLA&coupon_code=SIGGOOGLE7&gclid=CjwKEAjw4s2wBRDSnr2jwZenlkgSJABvFcwQ1gtkl6nhzdSAUbV54-x5_lkkbVhMxcLKAHDGiUfXdxoCUKPw_wcB

DS stayed in our room for a few months before moving to the nursery...though I ended up moving with him in there for a few months as we sleep trained. (He had a lot of nighttime separation anxiety, and I didn't night wean him until much later). When DS was in our room, we used to nursery still for naps, changing, storage/organization of his stuff, and feedings (it's where the most comfortable chair was). We decorated with some fun colors and some neutrals, but didn't choose anything too childish so that the room could grow with him. Also, I think I'm in the minority here, but everyone was settled in their own rooms, we never used our monitor. I have a sound-only monitor that gets used if DS is asleep and I'm doing chores or something where I may not hear him right away. His bedroom is right down a short hallway from ours though, so even with his door shut, I can hear him easily when he wakes.

And I love those birds you linked!

aamm04 · October 2015

vinerie said:
Ok, so these answers and anecdotes all raise another question:

If LO sleeps in your room for a couple to several months, then what function does the nursery serve? Also, and related: When does the nursery become LO's bedroom (and once this transition happens, must the nursery be redecorated?)

Also important: If a nursery is then rendered moot, should I reconsider these incredibly awesome Charley Harper bird stickers I wanted to use as part of my modern/nature motif idea?

https://www.signals.com/cgi-bin/hazel.cgi?ACTION=DETAIL&ITEM=HT4572&websource=GOOGLSH&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=PLA&coupon_code=SIGGOOGLE7&gclid=CjwKEAjw4s2wBRDSnr2jwZenlkgSJABvFcwQ1gtkl6nhzdSAUbV54-x5_lkkbVhMxcLKAHDGiUfXdxoCUKPw_wcB

The walls in our nursery are a neutral color and instead of a theme, we've decided to stick to a color scheme. The hope is that it will grow with the child so we don't have to redo it in the near future.

My plan is to have LO nap in their room sooner than later, and while they'll sleep in our room at first, I ideally want them in their room at night by 8 weeks.

This could all change but that is my plan. Our bedroom will be on a different floor than LO's...that is what a monitor is for.

lest12 · October 2015

@vinerie - DS slept in our room for a few months, but we hung out in the nursery often. The changing table and all of his clothes were in there, his toys, a rocking chair, space for tummy time, etc.

To be honest, and not everyone feels the same, but I really enjoyed having that tranquil space to spend time with him. No television, limited noise, clean, didn't have to look at my laundry hanging around...

Another tip, the transition from your bedroom to his bedroom can be kind of tricky and I had read that the more time you spend in the nursery with the baby, the easier it may be for him to move over there. So that might help as well.

But some people find the nursery totally underused! This is just my experience.

Also, FWIW, he's 16 months now and I don't plan on changing the décor in his room until he gets moved to his toddler room, and I can spruce up the nursery for 2.0. So you will get a lot of use out of those awesome birds!

megmarissa · October 2015

Our doc recommends baby sleeps in your room till 6 months for sids prevention. If you dont, I highly recommend a halo monitor.

jessicalacey1226 · October 2015

@vinerie I'm so glad you posted about your bedroom and the future nursery being on seperate floors! Our house is the opposite, we're on the second floor and the other two bedrooms are on the first. It worries the heck out of me to have what's eventually going to be our child's room on a different floor. DH suggested that once it's time for the baby to sleep in the nursary we can switch our room with the office downstairs. But our room is one of the reasons I fell in love with the house! The previous owners had a one year old and they made it work with being on different floors, so I'm sure we can too. I just can't help dreaming of adding an extension to our second floor so we can have at least one room up by us.

morganakeene · October 2015

@vinerie I made a second baby station in our living room downstairs out of a cute storage bench. I kept an extra changing pad, diapers, wipes, outfits, etc. in there. Made it easy to change the baby in the night but not have baby stuff all over our living room!

nsouplynn · October 2015

Not weird at all. I felt like this with my daughter at our old home. Her room was on the complete opposite side of the master bedroom. Her house was at the front of the house and it made me so uneasy. She slept in our room for the first half of her life and then we ended up co-sleeping with her for my sanity sake. Although I said I would do it differently with the next child. With our new house, the kids rooms will be much closer to our bedroom.

schicksal · October 2015

vinerie said:

If LO sleeps in your room for a couple to several months, then what function does the nursery serve?

Based on others we know, I think it's there solely for pictures to be taken.

BlueJuice · October 2015

We also keep a newborn in our room in a cradle for the first 4-6 months, regardless (our nursery is only the next room down the hall, but we EBF so early on I can't be bothered to get out of bed that often every night). Initially the nursery itself is really just a repository for the baby's clothes/diaper station/paraphernalia (and we actually had a second diaper station set up downstairs for awhile), but eventually we transitioned her into sleeping in her crib more of the night. Our oldest we transitioned into a different bedroom around 2 and a half years, and into a twin bed, but this baby will probably stay in the nursery room and we'll convert the toddler bed into a twin.

lionstigersbears · October 2015

I'll share that we chose the room that shares a wall with ours. For the first 5 or 6 months we bedshared with DS but then it became obvious he needed his own space. We transitioned him to his crib and it was nice to be able to hear him through the wall and see him on the monitor. Now that he's almost a year and sleeping pretty well I'm regretting choosing the room so close...he cries out briefly in his sleep and I wake up every single time! If I could do it again id purposely choose a room farther away, keep baby in our room until we all felt ready, then use the video audio monitor. I understand the worries, and I understand that how you feel might change!

Sharra13 · October 2015

vinerie said:

So this relates to an issue I keep thinking about myself. Our house has the master bedroom on the first floor. All other bedrooms are on the second floor. The more I think about this, there more pessimistic I get about how this will ever work. Issues I see:

1) When LO is sleeping in our room and wakes up for a feeding/needs to be changed, will I have to pick up baby and walk all the way upstairs to the nursery to do it so as not to wake up my H (or me, if he is the one doing it that time?) If so, is it even safe to walk half asleep upstairs while holding a newborn??
2) After LO moves to his/her own bedroom, will I be able to handle having them not just in a different room, but all the way upstairs and down the hall? Isn't waking up and walking upstairs going to get old?
3) Once LO is older, and has a bad dream/wets bed/needs me for some reason, are they going to get out of bed, walk all the way down the stairs and come into my room to say "Mommy and Daddy, I'm scared." That seems like a lot...and unsafe!

Ugh. Who designed the house this way and why?!!!?!?!

So glad you posted this! I have been totally anxious about our similar situation since we found out I was expecting!

Our master is downstairs at one corner of the house and my study/office is at the opposite corner, right by the front door. Originally, when we chose this floor plan, we thought it would be a great idea to have the nursery in the study and move my office to our "library" 1/2 a flight up (seriously, our floor plan is super unique and cool). The library has a large opening and no door, and we thought we would have all this time and money to put a custom door in before baby arrived--not happening! So I can't really move my office there, and I REALLY don't want to move it upstairs (and lug all my equipment up and down every day)...plus, I really love my office/study and kind of don't want to move out. On top of that, I just don't know if I feel comfortable having the nursery right next to the front door while we are on the other side of the house.

So now I am considering having the nursery all the way upstairs on the second floor, which doesn't sound too great, either. I guess I just have to get over my picturesque fantasy of that perfect little nursery with the big window and rays of golden sun floating in that people pass by and ooh and ahh over, lol... And get used the the idea of walking up and down, up and down, up and down those stairs all the time. I know most people keep the baby in their bedroom for months, but I personally plan on having them in their own room as soon as possible.

vinerie · October 2015

morganakeene said:

@vinerie I made a second baby station in our living room downstairs out of a cute storage bench. I kept an extra changing pad, diapers, wipes, outfits, etc. in there. Made it easy to change the baby in the night but not have baby stuff all over our living room!

Good idea!

Want a personalized experience?

Is it weird??

Re: Is it weird??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards