2 Year Old Heartache

shianthomas · October 2015

I need some uplifting I assume from some other mommies that are expecting any day now. I am 39 weeks and on September 26th just barely a week ago my husband and I went out to celebrate our anniversary. We dropped our three girls off with our aunt just for the afternoon while we had lunch and walked the mall hoping to get some contractions started. Just an hour after leaving we received a phone call and headed for the hospital. Our precious two year old daughter had pulled some boards down on top of her and had to be careflighted to a Childrens hospital. She has broken both femur bones in her legs and is in what they call a spica cast. She has been such a strong little girl, she is truly my heo but she hurts and our hearts hurt for her. Caring for her is more than a full time job and feel like it takes a whole team to take care of her. What was once a bouncing energy ball is now not able to even scratch her own feet. My heart hurts as a mommy that can't fix it. However, any day I will have a new bundle of joy to bring home and am so happy about it with all my heart but wonder how is this even going to be possible. I don't want the accident to take the excitement away from having the new baby by any means but I want my baby girl to also know mommy and daddy are still here and caring for her every step of the way.

I guess I just need some advice from someone who has experienced something similar. Tragedy before a blessing and how to cope.

BlueTopazBride · October 2015

I have no experience to share with you, but my heart goes out to you. It can't be easy, but you will find a new rhythm. Sending prayers for strength and peace your way. Good luck with everything.

Ericawengerd · October 2015

I haven't gone through something similar at all but my thoughts are with you! Maybe a "sunshine" box with small $1 items wrapped for her to open each day for the first couple weeks? Or a "quiet time" box filled with goodies for her to play with while you feed the baby? Lots of hugs and kisses during the day from mommy makes things seem better too

you sound like such a good mommy!

MPJR91910 · October 2015

I rarely post (haven't posted a word in many months, as a matter of fact, mainly for lack of anything valuable to add), but often read through the board to pass time. This caught my attention and I hope I can reassure you a tiny bit despite the fact that my situation is very different. We are expecting our third now, but last year we had our second son in August and during the later part of my pregnancy with him, our toddler (who turned two a few weeks prior to his brother's birth) went through a 30 day hospitalization as well as an unrelated finger surgery that left him in a cast from fist to shoulder. The finger surgery was the result of an accident (metal step ladder fell on his hand), and the hospitalization was due to a rare but serious feeding disorder caused by a swallowing and aspiration issue. He had a NG tube from his nose to his stomach and received all of his nutrition through it while he learned to eat again.

Needless to say, he required around the clock care and attention (still does). He couldn't go to daycare immediately following release from the hospital and any little disturbance in his routine would set back his feeding progress.

When DS2 arrived, things just worked out. DH and I balance things as well as possible, and we do a lot of divide/conquer. DH has taken on almost all of the feeding care for DS1 so that I can care for DS2. We of course both get time with both children, but DS1 now has a very special bond with Daddy thanks to everything he's been through and the special Daddy attention he's gotten while DS2 has gotten through his first year.

Like I said, very different situation, but I understand that feeling. It will work out, and you may find that the new baby is a great distraction for your older child during this difficult time. In our case, DS1 was so fascinated and excited by DS2 it really eased a lot of our stress.

MPJR91910 · October 2015

I meant to also add: my heart goes out to you and your family. Keep your chin up through these difficult times. It will get better, and you'll eventually look back and be so impressed by what you've overcome. It'll all be ok.

cbolton19 · October 2015

I don't have any advice, but sending you good thoughts and prayers for you all. She sounds like a tough little cookie! Hoping she has a speedy recovery!

CocoR04 · October 2015

I'm so sorry about this tough time you are going through right now. Obstacles come up at some of the worst times and feel like there are some ladies on this board who might be able to commiserate. I'm so glad your DD is healing and getting the wonderful care she needs. Hopefully she won't remember too much about her immobility being 2, but as a mom of a 2-year-old myself, my heart aches for you. Will you keep us updated?

on_the_move · October 2015

I'm so sorry your family is dealing with this now. My situation is different than yours, but might give you hope. My kids have a genetic condition called polysyndactily, where they have extra fingers that are joined together. Each of our children has a 50% chance of having it and we don't know yet if #3 has it. Anyway they have to have surgery to separate their fingers. They have to wear a cast covering their hand all the way up to their armpit for 6 weeks with each surgery and they aren't allowed to get sweaty because moisture can impede the healing process. My youngest had her first surgery at about 18 months and honestly doesn't remember much about it happening at all. She has seen pictures of herself with the cast and it was hard to accommodate them not being able to use a hand and arm, but we found ways around it. We let them watch a lot more movies during those times and really focused more on learning and educational pursuits. Before we knew it they were all healed and we just have to go in for occasional checks. This time will be difficult, but it won't last forever.

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