Community› The Bump Month Clubs› September 2015 Moms
September 2015 Moms
New Discussion

Missing out on older kids experiences and sad

Eslade14Eslade14 member
in September 2015 Moms
I feel like I'm missing out on all my older girls experiences this summer and fall. I had a complicated and painful pregnancy and couldn't get out much and now I'm home with my 5 day old. My in laws are visiting and so the sitter and my in laws brought the girls to the fair. They are 2&3 and I feel like I'm totally missing out. It makes me cry. I feel like they have been spending so much time with the sitter they don't even know I'm their mom anymore. My 3 year old fell this morning and ran to the sitter instead of me. It killed me!!! What should I do?! I know it's temporary and maybe a lot of post partum emotional things going on...I just miss my other little girls too.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Missing out on older kids experiences and sad

  • TechieGirl1TechieGirl1 member
    I had a lot of issues at the end of my pregnancy too, and felt like I missed out on things too. It will level out (ds2 is now 5 weeks), and things are getting to a new normal. And most importantly I can do a lot of the things I could do before with ds1. Don't worry, it's temporary. =)

    1999- Dx Prolactinoma

    8-25-2012 - Lucas born via C-section at 38 Weeks 2 days
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • rebeccabloomwoodrebeccabloomwood member
    This was totally me the first week. I'd sob almost every night for the few days because I was missing out and missed her even though I was right there all day. It will get better once you find a groove that works for you. Your hormones are wild right now and that isn't helping the way you're feeling. I'm much more at peace 2 weeks later if that helps. I've started to incorporate play time and breastfeeding and changes into group activities.
    Report Reply
  • Eslade14Eslade14 member
    I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I got up and showered after crying and started feeling much better. Got changed washed and changed the baby and changed my sheets. Nothing like feeling clean : ) hoping over time I will not feel like I'm missing out too much.
    Report Reply
  • PregNancyClarkPregNancyClark member
    I bet most of us have had these feelings about our older kids! You're not alone. It will settle down. There have been a few days that I haven't had help with my older boy and oh my gosh!!! It's so hard! As much as I want to do everything with and for him like I used to- I need the backup so badly right now! This too shall pass. It's ok, mama friend.
    Report Reply
  • tlc11934tlc11934 member
    Do you have someone who can watch the baby so you can get out and spend some quality time with your older two? I have to get out of the house at least once a day and leave DD with my DH to drive the kids to school or dance or activities just to feel like I'm still a part of everything. Maybe once you're feeling a little better. Good luck!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • mill1020mill1020 member
    I know exactly how you feel.  Trust me, this will pass as things become routine with the baby and you get to spend more time with your big kids.  Hang in there!
    Laura, mom of:
    James (14)
    William (13)
    Elise (11)
    Zachary (5)
    George (3)

    www.letterstoauntkay.com [making the blog private.  PM me if you want to subscribe]
    Report Reply
  • slp213psuslp213psu member
    I feel exactly like this. I also feel bad because now that it's only me and my 2 girls all day long I spend a majority of time yelling at DD1 or plopping in front of the TV. Today (yesterday now?) I made a point of going outside after nap wearing DD2 in the Moby wrap so I could do as much as possible with DD1.
    Report Reply
  • beckygoetz93beckygoetz93 member
    slp213psu said:

    I feel exactly like this. I also feel bad because now that it's only me and my 2 girls all day long I spend a majority of time yelling at DD1 or plopping in front of the TV. Today (yesterday now?) I made a point of going outside after nap wearing DD2 in the Moby wrap so I could do as much as possible with DD1.

    This. I feel so terrible bc lately I feel like all I do is yell and have him watch tv:( he is so hyper and it drives me nuts. Just hoping things get back to normal soon. Balancing everything is very challenging and I'm sure we will find our balance soon! Good luck to all the moms struggling. It's nice to know you're not in this alone.
    Report Reply
  • snowflake2214snowflake2214 member
    I really felt that way the first couple weeks. I was able to have my mom watch DD 2 while I took DD 1 to the pumpkin patch which was great. Lunch/nap and dinner bedtime routine is often hard with both. DH ends up being the one to have to put DD 1 to bed and I hate missing out on this time. Waiting for the new normal to arrive.
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"