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Hello everyone - Intro

heincmheincm member
in Trouble TTC

Hello everyone, I am glad to have found this forum because I really need some support. My husband, the love of my life, and I have been together for almost 10 years, and TTC for 13 months. Hitting that one year mark sure was hard. It has been a hard go for us, we TTC for about 8 months (he is 39, I am 31) before having testing done. His sperm analysis was good, and my HSG showed no problems, so the Dr. said just keep trying, so we have been. During the 13 months we have been TTC I have had numerous girlfriends get pregnant with oopsie babes, one with her 6th and one with her 4th, and numerous friends are having their first, and my co-worker had her first. It just seems like everywhere I look someone else is pregnant, and despite our efforts, it is never us. I hit a point where I told God I cant take anymore pregnancies, I had just hit the emotional wall, and then my oldest sister, who by they way had an IUD, called to tell me she was unexpectedly pregnant with her 3rd. That pregnancy was especially hard to take and I felt like I was being taunted, even though I know that is not true.

Most days I feel like I am going to lose my mind. I am happy for these people, I truly am, but I am heartbroken in the same instance, and it is so hard to explain that to people who have never experience this how I can feel both ways. I have no one who understands what I am going through, because all my family and friends seem to conceive without issue. My mother and 2 sisters never even tried, just happened. Me, I am trying everything in the book, and its just not working. My husband is so over talking about babies, its too stressful, so I feel somewhat alone at this point and of course depressed.

I promise my upcoming posts will be more positive, I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

Married the love of my life 9-1-13

TTC for 18 Months

Unexplained Infertility (suspected insulin resistance)

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Re: Hello everyone - Intro

  • riveridgionalriveridgional member
    @heincm Welcome and you are definitely not alone in any of your feelings and any of your experiences. Most likely, at least one person on this board will have been through or felt the exact same thing as you. This board is a great source to vent frustration, get advice and encouragement, and make this a less lonely process. It really makes me wish there was a support group where I love as I would love to grab coffee with any of these women to support and be supported!! While my husband has been wonderful, I felt the same way and wanted to relieve him from my incessant thoughts and feelings!

    Do you have any treatment plans set up? Seeing an RE yet? No pressure, just curious where you are in the process.
    Married to DH 10/6/12
    TTC since 5/14
    Unexplained with (controlled) hypothyroidism and suspected ovulatory dysfunction (but, I do ovulate on my own)
    Clomid 50 mg 3/15 (unmonitored) - BFN
    Clomid 50 mg + metformin 4/15 (unmonitored) - BFN 
    First RE appt. 5/15; Natural cycle 5/15 monitored with 2 mature follicles and Pregnyl Trigger (full dose) + prometrium - BFN
    6/15 HSG - clear tubes & normal uterus; great PCT test results
    TI - 100 mg Clomid + prometrium (AM & PM) + vaginal estrace (AM & PM) 6-7/15 (monitored) --> no additional response and thinned lining - BFN
    TI - Injectables (follistim + Gonal-F, Ganirelix, & 1/2 dose Pregnyl) + prometrium (AM & PM) 9/15 --> 3-7 mature follicles (3 definites and 4+ that could have matured due to trigger) @ O -->BFN + 5 large cysts
    BC for 2 weeks due to cysts
    TI - Injectables (Gonal-F, Ganirelix & full dose Pregnyl) + prometrium (AM & PM) 10/15 --> 1 mature follicle --> BFN 
    TI - Last attempt at injectables (Gonal-F, Ganirelix & 1/2 dose Pregnyl) + crinone (AM only) + vaginal estrace (AM & PM) 11/15 --> 3-4 mature follicles --> BFP!! 11/27/15 @ 13dpo (shockingly, actually waited until then to test)

    Beta #1 @ 16dpo (11/30/15) = 1,075
    Beta #2 @ 19dpo (12/3/15) = 3,150
    One baby: Saw heartbeat @ 5w5d (114 bpm; baby measuring 2.3mm)

    "Great Things are Happening"
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  • heincmheincm member
    @riveridgional, thanks for the reply. I do wish there was a support group around me as well, but appreciate finding this forum, it helps to know I'm not as alone as I feel.

    We will be going to a RE in January if still no luck. Neither mine nor my husbands insurance will cover anything infertility related so we've been waiting and hoping for now. This has been a very stressful journey, but I'm really trying to stay positive and just keep pushing on, although that is easier said than done some days.

    Married the love of my life 9-1-13

    TTC for 18 Months

    Unexplained Infertility (suspected insulin resistance)

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  • agriffin92013agriffin92013 member
    Welcome @heincm.   Hope you get your BFP soon.  
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  • lablover78lablover78 member
    Welcome! I'm very new here as well. I'm 36 & have been TTC for 2.5 years. I can relate with every single thing you are going through. I never wanted to be part of this infertility world and I absolutely hate how I feel when people close to me get pregnant. It's like I don't recognize the person I've become. The stress really started to impact my marriage as well. That being said I've been trying to change my negative mindset by making a vision board and using a graditude journal. When my DH noticed that I heard him & stopped talking about it after he expressed feeling the same way yours does he started initiating more discussions and has been really supportive. There are a lot of ups and downs in this journey and you just have to hang on and realize you are not alone. Great news that your tests came back good!
    TTC since May 2013
    Mild PCOS, Compound Heterozygous MTHFR
    No Folic acid/pharmaceuticals/supplements (too many to list- private message me if interested), IVIL infusion
    Report Reply
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