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October 2015 Moms
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Mother Rant

samisargentsamisargent member
in October 2015 Moms
My mother has been driving me crazy with her comments and questions. Just a little background on her, shes an addict and alcoholic who has now abandoned all 4 of her children before they turned 16 leaving other family members taking on the responsibility of all of us. During high school and even afterwards, she was in and out of rehab, never held through with anything she ever promised us. Eventually, I gave up on her and stopped talking to her. When I announced I was pregnant she went into super grandma mode which is crazy because my brother has a child already, which is her first grandchild. But because I am her only daughter having the first grand daughter, she thinks she needs to be with me 24/7. I've shot her down 6 times now when she's asked to be in the delivery room. This past weekend my SO was out of town on a fishing trip and she INSISTED to stay the weekend with me at our house. I told her no. 

Anyways, last night she is texting me asking how I'm feeling (I have a feeling she is going to be asking me every single day how I'm feeling so she can get an idea of when to be at the hospital since I told her we will not be announcing when we are heading there when I go into labor) and I said I don't feel any different except I am just anxious for her to get here. And she said, "I can't wait either. She's going to be so bratty." It instantly offended me. I am not going to raise my daughter to be bratty in any way. I can't even believe she would say something like that. I said back to her, "no she's not". She just laughed and thought it was funny. I am waiting for the day she asks to stay for a long period of time after delivery. She tells me "grandmas always know best" and she said that she doesn't care what any doctor says, feeding her baby food will make her sleep better. She said she fed me baby food when I was 2 weeks old and I lived. She had no clue you're not supposed to put baby to sleep on their tummys anymore, which is something people were told years ago. 

I just had to vent. She is driving me insane. I read stories of people ranting about their MIL's but not often do I see any stories of their own Mothers driving them crazy.
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Re: Mother Rant

  • vamomtobevamomtobe member
    That would drive me insane, too!  She gets to choose when to become a parent/grandparent, and then just brag on her supposed knowledge of mothering?  Sounds like you have no qualms with telling her no, so good fo rjust keep that up for your own sanity.  She sounds like the brat!   
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  • clafoclafo member
    I'm sorry for your situation.  My Mom is driving me nuts right now too.  She doesn't have the same background as yours, but my mom was pretty much devoted to her job and had little left for me and my brother when she would get home from work.  She was selfish with her time and usually put her needs before ours.  She was pretty much a hoarder and never cleaned or did laundry.  I was very independent from a young age.  Despite all of that, I knew my Mom loved me.  She didn't have the most affectionate mother and I can only assume she did the best she could.  My oldest child is 11 and my youngest is 9 so I have experience with how she is as a Grandmother.  She loves my boys, but she's not the type to take them to fun places and spend quality time with them.  She pretty much hangs out on the couch and sleeps when she babysits and yells at them for being too loud.  In saying all of that...it is SUPER annoying when she acts so excited about this baby.  I'm not really sure what she is all excited about?  Lol  She is also like super glue on me right now, constantly rubbing all over my belly and asking me how HER baby is.  So annoying.  She asks me the same questions over and over again.  I think I feel this way because she was rarely a nurturing mother to me, but she wants to turn it on all of a sudden when I'm pregnant and offer all of this "help", but her idea of help and mine are completely different.  She also has a tendency to make my major life events (ie pregnancy and cancer) all about her somehow. Drives me crazy.  I love my mom, but I'm really hoping and praying that I can keep it together and not snap at her.  Just wanted you to know that you are not alone.  Do your best to set boundaries and eventually your Mom will back off.  Hang in there!
    Me (40) Dh (41)
    Mom to Hayden (11) and Hudson (9)
    M/C 3/11/03
    Stage IIIb Colon Cancer Survivor!


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  • Wigglesx2Wigglesx2 member
    I'm in a similar boat with my mom. She didn't care at first and didn't want anything to do with the baby. Now she asks all the time and calls me. It's so annoying. She's just gearing up to ask for money. Luckily she lives out of state and won't be here for a few weeks after the baby is born.

    I feel your pain though.
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  • CocoR04CocoR04 member
    I always find it interesting when mothers and fathers who weren't present (mentally or physically) for their own children try to be really dedicated grandparents. I've seen it with my friends and heard it here on these boards often. It's also interesting to see how it turns out and if the grandparents go back to their old ways.

    I can complain about both my mom and MIL. My mom is a narcissist who's never wrong and makes everything about herself. My MIL has selected my 2.5 year old nephew as her favorite, providing him with more love, attention, and a nice sized college fund while giving very little love and attention to my 2.5 year old son. It's sad :(
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  • beanie1977beanie1977 member
    I can understand. My mom suffers from mental illness and past addictions. She has also become super grandma and this is her first grandchild (I'm 38 so she waited a long time!)

    I'm wary of her involvement but she seems prepped to be there when needed. My SO is not her biggest fan and is more wary than I am.

    Do you best to set boundaries. That's what we are doing.
    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c1556.aspx[/img][/url]
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