Baby Wise

nrjaskie · October 2015

Anyone planning on using baby wise? I read the book and it seems legit.

rebelone · October 2015

M'kay...

mrstrax · October 2015

We did modified baby wise - routine not schedule and starting after the 4 month sleep regression. The trouble most people have is people becoming militant about it - newborns often require food/sleep more often than the time spans given in the book and denying them by sticking to a set schedule can be dangerous.
We did the routine of "sleep, eat, play, sleep" based on her sleepiness and it was great to never have to teach her to fall asleep without the breast/bottle. That said, I didn't read the book so I don't know if it gets wackier than that.

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

Be careful people here hate babywise. But so many of my friends have done it with great success. I honestly think those who knock it haven't actually read it. I highly recommend reading it and then making it fit your family. Nobody should follow any book to the t, they're all just to be used as guidelines.

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

@mrstrax babywise doesn't give set times, and babywise helps you follow EAS schedule. It's more an interval and you can adjust it. I recommend you read it before calling it whacky, it sounds like you actually used a lot of it not knowing! In fact I've found that the reason babywise and similar approaches work is because a lot of people who feed on demand don't wake their children to feed on set intervals, and wait until they wake up hungry. Babies are TIRED and will often sleep until they're starving. These type of schedules help you preemptively feed baby before this happens so they get fed more during the day and don't wake up as much hungry at night. And I agree with you that teaching babies to fall asleep without bottle/boob is huge!

I sort of did my own thing but it most closely resembled babywise.

rschenck14 · October 2015

We used Babywise and the Happiest Baby on the Block and it helped us tremendously. We used the 3/4 hour schedule to help develop a routine and for us this was fantastic.

Here is a link: https://noobmommy.com/category/baby-schedule
https://noobmommy.com/2012/02/e-a-s-y-schedules-cheat-sheet-4-sample-baby-schedules-from-4-weeks-1-yr.html

The times were just a rough estimate to help us get the baby to a certain schedule which worked great. And when DD went into daycare they actually were very close to our schedule as well. Again to each his own, but this worked for us and we will try to do this with baby 2.

mrstrax · October 2015

NachosAndPeaches said:
@mrstrax babywise doesn't give set times, and babywise helps you follow EAS schedule. It's more an interval and you can adjust it. I recommend you read it before calling it whacky, it sounds like you actually used a lot of it not knowing! In fact I've found that the reason babywise and similar approaches work is because a lot of people who feed on demand don't wake their children to feed on set intervals, and wait until they wake up hungry. Babies are TIRED and will often sleep until they're starving. These type of schedules help you preemptively feed baby before this happens so they get fed more during the day and don't wake up as much hungry at night. And I agree with you that teaching babies to fall asleep without bottle/boob is huge!

I sort of did my own thing but it most closely resembled babywise.

You're right, I didn't mean to call the whole thing wacky, I just meant the parents who take the schedule aspect militantly (every 3 hours is great unless your newborn needs to eat every 2, which is where you see kids literally starving). I don't have the knowledge to judge it as a whole, and should have been clearer.

allaire314 · October 2015

Feeling behind the 8 ball because I have never heard of this, and didn't even think that I should start planning this type of thing so soon! Curious to read it and get an idea of the guidelines...

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

Lol @mrstrax I feel like there are always crazies who don't realize your baby didn't read the book lol! I was extremely strict with H's schedule as a newborn but I always fed him if he was hungry outside of it (which hardly ever happened because I preemptively fed him). A lot of people say to never wake a sleeping baby but I've found that for most babies it's best to wake them after x amount of sleep to feed them.

rebelone · October 2015

allaire314 said:

Feeling behind the 8 ball because I have never heard of this, and didn't even think that I should start planning this type of thing so soon! Curious to read it and get an idea of the guidelines...

I recommend reviewing all like-books out there before choosing. I'm not sure what the OP's intention of the post was about Babywise, but it has quite a bit of controversy surrounding it.

TheBorg7of9 · October 2015

I used baby wise for my first two. It's not as regimented as people say. We followed the cycle of eat-awake-sleep and it created great habits for us. Both my kids are great sleepers still. I like the sample schedule in there just to give me an idea. But the book explicitly states that if your baby is hungry, you should feed him! You can read a few books and use whatever rules work for you.

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

I just thought of a good example. Let's say you have a toddler or young child and they are playing. Playtime is so fun, nothing should stop playtime. Mom and dad don't intervene. All of a sudden, it's 3 pm and toddler hasn't had lunch yet, because toddler isn't self regulating yet. Now toddler is starving and cranky.

However, this doesn't happen because most parents, even those who are very child led in theory, will serve a morning snack and lunch by 11/noon ish or whenever it is for your schedule. Heck some adults are known to be so busy and work so hard (hello motherhood!) that they unintentionally skip meals without realizing it.

Now replace play or work with sleep. Babywise and other schedule type books/theories help a parent figure out how often their child needs to eat and make it work for them. Obviously most parents will give their toddler a snack if it's not a mealtime, just like a parent following babywise will nurse or give their child if they are hungry. These types of books usually help determine true hunger cues though. A lot of times baby's are fed immediately for any peep when in fact they just need to be burped or rocked or played with, and I felt that sticking on a schedule (routine, whatever you want to call it), helped eliminate confusion of cues. It's important to be flexible but to know that consistency is super important and to save the flexibility for when needed.

Poppy16 · October 2015

Like any book or parenting method, you need to use common sense, take into account your personality, your kid's personality, follow your mama gut, and in the end do what's best for your child. Babywise has a lot of good ideas, but some ideas that can be misused if not understood correctly. I used it with my first child 9 years ago and followed it very closely. I loosened up a lot with each child, to the point where I only used the "Eat, Wake, Sleep" routine and the nap time advice, and disregarded most of the rest.

Ready4theParty · October 2015

Kids in general need a routine and structure from day to day. You can't deviate and expect them to be on the same schedule from two days ago, especially in the early months.

We didn't use babywise, but I get the concept, keeping to a basic routine has been better for our family and family schedule.

nbaba · October 2015

I used a modified version and it was a great success for us

Daniep08 · October 2015

I have some friends that follow baby wise very strictly. I read it when I was pregnant with my oldest and that was 5years ago so some of the details of it are foggy. But from what I remember some of it makes a lot of sense, but it honestly wasn't a fit for our parenting style and our family. I definitely follow a schedule with my kids, but its not strict.My friends have followed everything so strictly that it took the fun out of their lives because they would NEVER break from it. I also love nursing my babies to sleep, even when they were older and done nursing I love being able to rock them to sleep at bedtime. I will never get that time back with them so I treasure it! But my friends have seemed to be very successful and happy with how it worked for them!

As with all parenting books you have to pick and choose what works for you, your husband, and your baby. There is no book that is perfect or works for everybody. Pick good things out of each book that you like and then adapt them to what works for you. You will go crazy trying to make a method, that looks like it should be perfect, work in your family, if its just not the right fit.

DougalMcG · October 2015

I haven't read baby wise but it sounds like I did something similar. I read a few books (including happiest baby on the block, which I loved) and just kind of did my own thing in the end. You just have to be flexible. I think most of these books follow the Eat/activity/ sleep routine. That didn't work for us. DD1 used to always fall asleep after eating, and after trying to keep her awake once by putting a cold washcloth on her face (an actual suggestion in one book), I thought: screw this. If the kid wants to sleep, let her sleep. We were both much happier after that. You just have to do what works for you.

nlakra · October 2015

Nah. I am strict enough as it is. My babies suffer severe reflux which totally does not work with Babywise because you can never put them down when you want to. Babies run the clock. Babywise says the first week to cater to their needs and then set the routine: eat, wake, and sleep. I think most moms need MUCH longer to get their bearings.. but my babies are difficult. I suggest reading it anyway though. I think it has some good food for thought. A lot of people abhor it.

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

@nlakra OT but have you used baby wearing to keep babies upright for reflux? Obviously doesn't cure it, but an easy way to keep them up while still being able to do other things

pfafflin714 · October 2015

I just started reading it and I like the idea of it. I am very flexible and know that I will change based on my baby's needs. It was just nice to get some ideas about sleeping and breast feeding. I look forward to reading more! Looks like I will check out the Happiest Baby on the Block as well.

SisterMaryNapalm · October 2015

What is the controversy around baby wise? Is it considered dangerous?

nrjaskie · October 2015

Sorry! No intentions of a controversy, I had no idea. I just heard great things about it and had some questions on if anyone had used it before or if there were other "philosophies" out there that worked for them. I am a first time mom and nervous about parenting, so I am just asking for some wisdom.

I come in peace

nrjaskie · October 2015

Thanks for all the feedback!

DougalMcG · October 2015

SisterMaryNapalm said:

What is the controversy around baby wise? Is it considered dangerous?

Like I said I haven't read it but according to wiki it has been associated with failure to thrive, malnutrition, and problems with milk supply. I kind of want to read it now to see why.

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

I feel like people who judge it haven't actually read it. It is quite frustrating because failure to thrive is such a serious thing and babywise never advocates to let your baby go hungry. It just teaches you how to read hunger cues better. It's not for people who want to have a more attachment parenting or child led style of family, but for those who want some routine right away and early sleep through the night-ers , it's great.

tripledaggerWed95976 · October 2015

I think adhering to a feeding schedule is very important but the length of time thwt can be gone between feedings varies from baby to baby. I think the controversy is that some believe the time baby wise suggests is way too long to go without being fed for some babies. I have not read it and therefore have no opinion of it...just saying what I've heard

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

I mean, they suggest to begin with about 9 feeds a day which is approx every 2.5 hours, meanwhile, NICUs go by every 3 hours. If sick and premature infants can thrive on that schedule, I think so can our healthy newborns.

Am I allowed to mention babycenter? Because they have a pretty good unbiased description of it (and Gina fords book which I LOVED the intro chapters of, more than her schedule). It's much less biased and more accurate than wiki. If you're curious just read the "what's the though process" section here: https://www.babycenter.com/0_parent-led-baby-schedules-baby-wise-gina-ford-and-others_3658361.bc

amaniupendo · October 2015

Never read baby wise because nothing sounds worse to me than having a routine with a baby!

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

Oof! Nothing sounds worse to me than not having one!!!! Routine keeps me (most people) sane. Think of kids at the end of summer break. They're done. Lol.

DougalMcG · October 2015

@NachosAndPeaches I get that. I really liked the Gina ford book too minus the schedule. Although the schedule was good if you followed it loosely. And maybe backwards a bit haha. But there was a lot of good advice on there. That's what I mean. You just have to read a load of books and pick out what works for you.

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

Yes I loved the intro chapters of Gina ford!!! I really loved how she explains that babies "wake up" at ten days ish and then moms milk hasn't adjusted yet and many women give up then because they think baby is starving. I maybe took the advice a little too much to heart because I pumped religiously the first two weeks (although DS was NICU for a week so I had to at first). However, I love that advice and I think it's helped a lot of my friends too.

missemmawoodhouse · October 2015

Babywise worked for us. We modified it in that we did not start actual sleep training until 4 mo with SleepEasy Solution. The eat-play-sleep patterns and merges were so helpful.

People who say it leads to failure to thrive haven't read it. In fact, one of the things Babywise stresses is that a strict feeding interval is not good.

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