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January 2016 Moms
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Name drama

juneandboojuneandboo member
in January 2016 Moms
DH's family is lovely and I do like that everyone is connected, but they can drive me crazy too...I got an email this morning from DH's aunt- who lives overseas, so we see each other maybe once every 2 years?- saying that she had an idea, ran it by my MIL and she also loves it. Her idea is that every grandson gets DHs maternal grandfathers name as a middle name. It's a very Armenian name, not something you hear ever, unless you're in a strong Armenian community. While I agree it's a sweet idea, 1) we'd already discussed using my dads name as a middle name, 2) all the parents know we are keeping names private until our little guy is here (because if previous drama/opinions that just got old really quickly), and 3)his aunt didn't just suggest this to us, she talked about it with my MIL, so now if we don't use it, there's guilt that she's created for us to deal with because she's involving his mom. Lovely.
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Re: Name drama

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  • karynste19karynste19 member
    No. That's a nightmare. Hopefully they will forget by the time LO arrives but definitely don't give in to their unfair pressure.
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  • QueenCarlissaQueenCarlissa member
    Your baby you name him point blank period they've pushed out their babies and named them what they want so continue on with the names you have.
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  • juneandboojuneandboo member
    Yes! His aunt had 2 boys and MIL had 3 boys, and none of their middle names are DHs grandfathers name. Go figure.
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  • kducharmekducharme member
    This is my husbands family to a T! Oh man do they drive me crazy! Hang in there I totally know where you are coming from
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    I'm totally lurking from D15, but I agree with the PPs. Name your child what you please. If I was in this situation, I'd thank the aunt for the suggestion, and then not share the name my husband and I chose until he was born and the ink dried on his birth certificate.
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  • Knottie1452445632Knottie1452445632 member
    Geez some people! I know they mean well but pregnancy is stressful enough with out having the added drama from relatives! We've chosen our name already and have decided to tell people as it's our 4th and they know from the last times that NO ONE will change our minds once they are made up. I know it's evil but it's priceless that MIL hates the name we've chosen BUT we love it so tough! Also great that out other children love it and use it all the time when referring to baby and MIL sits there and cringes and changes the subject. But yes definitely your child & your choice. My brother changed his name choice as relatives didn't like it and since regretted it. I know they mean well but they can all Butt out of it IMO!! Good luck telling her NO! ;) xxxx
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  • kodariahkodariah member
    Yeah I wouldn't let it bug you to much. I was just messaged her back saying you have already decided on a name that means alot but you think the idea is sweet and appreciate her thinking of you... Then hope she doesn't cause any drama from there :)
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  • tangelic3tangelic3 member
    that can be stressful! No one has the right, to not give you the right. You know? You're the parents you have the right to choose what you want to do. My DH and I have a name picked out, and family members are getting offended that we aren't sharing the name until he's born. which can be frustrating because that's the first thing people want to know when you find out your having a boy! People don't like being told no, but there's always a nice way of going about it, the aunt most likely means well.
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  • ChrissyD1203ChrissyD1203 member
    My husband's family is 100% Armenian and PROUD of it (I'm Italian and although I'm sure it would have been everyone's dream for him to marry Armenian they have welcomed me with open arms). Anyway, no one has ever even brought up this tradition as a reference never mind a demand - are you sure it's an Armenian thing? My husband does have his maternal grandfather's name, but I think John is a common name
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  • GracieHartGracieHart member
    apinkpelican said:

    Nope. They don't get to decide the names or start a new tradition if you aren't on board.

    This. If they want to start a new naming tradition, they are free to have another child themselves.

    Not their baby, not their say. Put your foot down on this.
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  • sharonholck28sharonholck28 member
    Name the baby what you want to name them. It's your baby not theirs. My dad and my SO's mom didn't like our middle name choices but we chose them with meaning for ourselves. My dad has finally come around and I know his mom will come too. If they want to start a new tradition they can do it with their own children.
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  • MamaFroFroMamaFroFro member
    Lurker from F16

    We are facing a similar situation. My SIL called my H and requested he use the feminine version of their dad's name as our daughter's name or middle name. We are not discussing names with anyone so he brushed her off. So she started calling me now with the request. She is also laying on a guilt trip. First off, I hate the name. Secondly, our son already has my FIL's name as his middle name. Finally, SIL has several children and never used the name!

    I just think it's rude. I've never made a request of someone like that so I don't understand how people think it's appropriate. Don't feel guilty. Pick the name you want.

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  • juneandboojuneandboo member
    @ChrissyD1203, to my knowledge it isn't an Armenian thing. It's just DHs aunt and mom (who are 100% Armenian) wanting to keep their dads very Armenian name in the family...even though they didn't use the name as a first or middle name for any of the 5 sons they collectively had. (They all got very "normal" names, like William, Christopher, etc.) Small world though- I'm also Italian, married to an Armenian:)
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  • Hrc724Hrc724 member
    Ugh! The name suggestions! We aren't telling until the baby is born either and why do people think we want suggestions??? Or if you are someone who tells, why do people think you want their opinion?? Your baby, you get to pick the name. Repeat after me, you may need to say this a lot ... "I'm the mommy, I get to decide".
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  • ChrissyD1203ChrissyD1203 member
    @juneandboo it would be so funny if you printed out the name change documents from the social security administration and told them it's not too late for their sons to take grandpa's (their dad's) name as a middle name! All the Armenians in DHs family seem to have American names, nothing that sounds very Armenian to me--- FIL is Craig and his brother is Mark, and MIL's brother is Peter. Super Armenian last names though - which I now have. I went from a 5 letter last name to a 12 letter last name haha
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  • juneandboojuneandboo member
    Lol and I bet your new last name ends in either "Ian" or "yan." Just a hunch;)
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  • danasphillipsdanasphillips member
    Boooooo! Screw them. Go with what you like.
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  • mch9191mch9191 member
    Hrc724 said:

    Ugh! The name suggestions! We aren't telling until the baby is born either and why do people think we want suggestions??? Or if you are someone who tells, why do people think you want their opinion?? Your baby, you get to pick the name. Repeat after me, you may need to say this a lot ... "I'm the mommy, I get to decide".

    Yes exactly! I made a comment the other day about how surprised I was by the amount of opinions about everything during this pregnancy, just a general observation not calling anyone out in particular. All three of my friends without kids looked at me like I'd stabbed them. Seriously? You can't understand why having every decision regarding your child facilitating an opinion from everyone you've ever met would get old after a while? People confuse me.
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