Overreaction?

Re: Overreaction?

• jordans_wife member

  October 2015

  Hmmm. Part of me says do this for him if you think it will mean a lot to him and his parents. However, I would be irritated too especially after you planned it all and surprised him with it. He had no right to ask them along without talking to you first. You could get out of going together but it would be awkward. I would have a serious talk with him about how you feel and make sure to break away from his rents for a couple of nights alone too if you do go with them. It's a bummer but it sounds like a done deal. Sorry! I wouldn't be thrilled either:(

  

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• Blueyedsky member

  October 2015

  I wouldn't love that. It sounds like maybe you missed your opportunity to say something though? You can always tell him how you feel and just have them come for a couple days of it?

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• ntyravgsp member

  October 2015

  kholman4 said:

  Okay, so I have an issue. Every fall my DH and I take a weekend trip somewhere, while he has off for his fall break. This year we said we weren't going to because of baby. But his coaching job is hard on us, both, so we decided that we really needed some away time before baby gets here--we needed some time to spend together! Well, his g-ma is elderly and has family eyes on her 24/7, well his aunt has been out of town and his mom does it, so he feels bad b/c his father is missing my MIL. My thought is, why doesn't he go spend time with her and not sit at home? He felt guilty and asked me if we could invite his parents on our trip. I just stayed silent, of course I'm not okay with it--I want time with MY DH. I don't want to have to worry about one car and what they want to do. He invited them and they're coming. She's beyond thrilled, which makes me feel guilty for feeling this way. what hurt the most is, I surprised him with where we were going, because we need a trip and it is a place we can both enojoy. why can't they plan their own trip for them, especially if they're willing to come on ours? Am I overreacting or am I okay to feel this way? I'm really hurt by his actions.

  It sounds like he did ask you and you had a chance to tell him that you didn't want his parents along, even if it would have hurt his feelings or offended him. He can't read your mind, so if you don't tell him what you want, he isn't going to know. So, I think it's time to suck it up now and accept the situation even if you're not thrilled about it.
  I agree with @jordans_wife, it would be much harder to get them out of it now and could lead to rifts or unnecessary drama. I like her idea too, to plan some couples time just for you and DH and let the ILs do their own thing, so you get the alone time with him that you want.

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• ljalmeida member

  October 2015

  I think if you had spoken up when he asked you how you felt about it and he invited them anyway, you would have some grounds to be upset. However, since you didn't say anything, I feel like at this point you just suck it up and try to enjoy the trip as much as possible. I know how easy it can be to expect them to know you wouldn't feel great about a situation, but maybe it meant a lot to him and that's why he asked you in the first place? Good luck and try not to let it get to you.

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• SisterSunshine member

  October 2015

  Try to enjoy it anyways. I entirely agree it should be just the two of you but when you had the chance to say something, you didn't. And I can't see a way or of it. So maybe this will end up being a fun memory if you can adjust your expectations.

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• ashhsa member

  October 2015

  I agree with all pp in that I understand why you feel that way, but for the sake of peace and harmony it is too late to say anything now. Often these things seem worse in our heads than how they acctually turn out, hopefully it might strengthen your relationship with your in laws? Could end up being a positive?

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• kodariah member

  October 2015

  I'm not sure where your going and if its possible but I would push for separate cars. I would tell them all right now you would love to have a night just the two of you before the baby comes, tell them it would mean alot to you. I would try to not let yourself get too upset though. You obviously have a sweet DH and its cool he's thinking of others not just the two of you, and since its something you planned its got to be something you really want to do so make the best of it. You have every right to be upset but in the long run if you don't let it go it will only ruin your time on vacation...

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• cyanope member

  October 2015

  I agree with PPs. I would be pissed. But I would have told him that BEFORE you gave him the go-ahead to invite his parents. It's definitely too late now. I also like the suggestion of doing separate cars so you guys can at least have some time alone. 

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