Babies on the Brain

Rough pregnancy.

I'm sorry if this makes me out to be a complete whiner, but I promise you that I'm not.

I found out I was pregnant at 7 weeks. I bawled my eyes out for several hours because I'm in debt, maxed out on student loans before I could graduate college, I work at Wal-Mart, and the father of my unborn child is an alcoholic in denial. My frustration and self-pity quickly turned to excitement. My EDD was October 2nd!

On May 5th, I had my 18-week ultrasound. I invited my mom to be there because she didn't get to be a part of my sister's pregnancies due to my sister living out of state, and my mom is in very poor health. That day, we found out the baby is a girl. I was so excited. I thought my mom was too.

The last weekend of May, my sister drove to Michigan, where I live, with a U-haul full of baby stuff for the new baby. She stayed about a week, during which my step-father celebrated his 60th birthday. We gathered at my mom's house for the celebration and the house was packed full of friends and family. My sister and I both stayed the night. The next day, my mother accused me of stealing narcotics from her. She refused to search me, my purse, my bags, my car. Then she filed a police report. The police refused a search and turned down my idea to submit to a drug screen.

The day before father's day, I was arrested. They were charging me with felony larceny. I was 6 months pregnant. You don't even want to know the pain of passing time in a jail cell by watching your baby kick, let alone be reminded that your mother is the person who put you there for something you didn't do. Somebody who should have been there to support me and cheer me on was okay with putting her daughter in prison for 4 years and having her granddaughter placed in foster care just so that she could get her doctor to give her a few more pills.

Long story short, I was able to prove my innocence and the charges against me were dropped. I spent months resenting the fact I was pregnant because I thought my daughter would be taken from me at birth.

Today I am 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I'm being induced tomorrow morning. Yesterday, my sister called me and apologized in advance that she was calling to discuss something very awkward with me. My mother asked my sister to contact me because she wanted to know if I would be okay with having a supervised visit before I leave the hospital because she wants to meet the baby. This has me so upset and confused that I feel like I'm losing my s**t. The one person who should have been there for me, wasn't there for me. She tried putting me in prison, and instead of an apology, she wants me to set everything aside and do her a favor by letting her meet the granddaughter whose life she tried to ruin. I'm not sure what to do.

Re: Rough pregnancy.

  • I am so sorry for what you went through! Best wishes for a smooth delivery and a fresh start with your LO.

    As for your mother, that person would no longer be in my life or my child's. Shared genetics is not a free pass to treat you that way. I'm sorry, I know it won't be easy, but I would not let her visit you during what should be a special time forming your new family.
  • Loading the player...
  • I am so sorry for you! I can't imagine how it is to go through a pregnancy when you can't trust and lean on the people closest to you. 
     
    I agree with PP. If your mother hasn't changed significantly over the past months (like stopped doing drugs), I would not let her see the baby. She has proven that she cannot be trusted, and that she will put her drugs above everything else.

    Hope everything goes well with you and your LO! 
  • I am so sorry for what you went through! Best wishes for a smooth delivery and a fresh start with your LO. As for your mother, that person would no longer be in my life or my child's. Shared genetics is not a free pass to treat you that way. I'm sorry, I know it won't be easy, but I would not let her visit you during what should be a special time forming your new family.
    All of this. Has she made any efforts in the past few months to better herself or her relationship with you? If not, then I would say hell no, she cant visit.

    **** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Oh my goodness... I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that! I would definitely not allow your Mom to be a part of your life anymore. It sounds like she is very mentally unstable and your child doesn't need to be exposed to that. And you certainly won't want any extra stress while you are bonding with your new bundle of joy. 

    I hope you have a wonderful labor and delivery. Keep us updated on how it goes <3
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm sorry. No visit for grandma.
  • Ummm NO. HE*L no!!!! I would absolutely 100% NOT let that woman anywhere near my child! Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
  • Oh my gosh im so sorry that youve dealt with all this! I would absolutelt not allow her to see the baby after the stunt she pulled, esp if she hasnt made an effort to rebuild your relationship. She has no rights to your baby as a grandma. I really hope everything works out and you have that sweet baby soon!
  • I would first like to sorry that I am sorry for what your mother has done to you these past few months. But "grandma", if you even want to call her that, would not be visiting my baby any time soon! She has a lot of making up to do in my opinion. 

    But I also want to say that this is not appropriate for this board. You could have posted this on your BMB board or the 3Tri board. I know that you are looking for support and/or advice but the women on this board are either thinking about babies, in the present or in the near feature, or are trying to get pregnant. Aside from the drama in your life, its almost like you are rubbing it in some peoples face that you "accidentally" got pregnant, because lets be for real if you are having sex with no birth control, even with it, there is always a chance of getting pregnant so there is no such thing as an accident, when people are either trying to get pregnant but they hare having a hard time or they are waiting for the right time to get pregnant because its the best thing for their family. 

    Good luck with labor and I hope things work our for you and your family! :)
    Married: August 2012
    TTC #1: July 2015
    BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
    TTC #2: September 2019

  • Sorry all of that has happened to you! I am also on the "no visitation for grandma" bandwagon. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"