Important Tip!

mama930 · October 2015

I had my daughter- baby girl- 9/29 via c section. He date was 10/3. Healthy and happy.
For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to have my mother in law come stay and help with the 4/2 year olds while I recover and spend time nursing. NOT A GOOD IDEA. Day 4 of postpartum was the worst but made a nightmare with mother in law there. Ladies- even if you tolorate your mother fig type helping you out after baby- don't do it!!!!

LiveNLove44 · October 2015

Congratulations on your baby girl! Your warning is the exact reason DH and I told our mothers that we are doing to be just fine without live-in help during our first weeks home (with DD and again now with this LO). I think it all depends on your own personality type, too, but I definitely would have been stressed and upset if someone else was thrown into the mix, too. I hope it gets better for you!

Tonerl2015 · October 2015

mama930 said:
I had my daughter- baby girl- 9/29 via c section. He date was 10/3. Healthy and happy.
For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to have my mother in law come stay and help with the 4/2 year olds while I recover and spend time nursing. NOT A GOOD IDEA. Day 4 of postpartum was the worst but made a nightmare with mother in law there. Ladies- even if you tolorate your mother fig type helping you out after baby- don't do it!!!!

So, what about it wasn't a good idea?? Were you just uncomfortable with her there or she didn't really help with the older kids, or...?

erinboehme · October 2015

I hear you! I was so excited NOT too have my MIL coming, but she just let us know she went ahead and bought a plane ticket to visit when baby is two weeks old. She is of the opinion that babies should be on formula by 2 weeks and be supplemented with water. I feel like every day will be a fight - I've done this 4 times with her already. I feel great anxiety at her coming.

tracij12 · October 2015

erinboehme said:
I hear you! I was so excited NOT too have my MIL coming, but she just let us know she went ahead and bought a plane ticket to visit when baby is two weeks old. She is of the opinion that babies should be on formula by 2 weeks and be supplemented with water. I feel like every day will be a fight - I've done this 4 times with her already. I feel great anxiety at her coming.

Um, please tell me that she at least doesn't give formula and/or water without your OK. I would lose my ish!

J1D · October 2015

My mother and sister offered to take days/weeks off of work and basically take turns being at my house 24/7.
I said, thank you, but no thank you. What I would love though would be 2 or maybe 3 hours in the afternoon to help with laundry and dishes and so I can nap. So that's the plan for now

Cause I think around the clock would stress me out but help with dishes, laundry and the ability to shower and nap would be perfect.

cararie · October 2015

I hear you! My mom just asked me last week if I wanted her to stay with us for the first week or so because that's what she did when my older sister had her first. I (hopefully!) politely pointed out that my sister also lives over an hour away from the rest of our family whereas hubby and I live 15 minutes from both sets of families. So if I get overwhelmed and feel like I need mom's help she can be there in no time! I also feel like I'd need more help a few weeks after our little girl arrives, once hubby has to go back to work....

koriemo · October 2015

My mother and mother in law haven't said anything about staying or helping yet. I'm hoping I can convince my mom to come by in the afternoons to do dishes and laundry and make dinner... I think that is more helpful than helping with the baby!

erinboehme · October 2015

@tracij12, I actually meant cereal, not formula. She tried that, but I didn't have any cereal for her to feed him! She claimed it was the only way to get the baby to sleep through the night. My father in law did give my oldest water out of a cup at 3 weeks. I wasn't happy - it was to wash down the piece of roll he had just given him.

erinboehme · October 2015

Oh, and my mother in law's way of helping with dinner is "so, what's your plan for dinner?"

dparker721 · October 2015

erinboehme said:
@tracij12, I actually meant cereal, not formula. She tried that, but I didn't have any cereal for her to feed him! She claimed it was the only way to get the baby to sleep through the night. My father in law did give my oldest water out of a cup at 3 weeks. I wasn't happy - it was to wash down the piece of roll he had just given him.

A roll at 3 weeks!? Wow.

jegoffin · October 2015

The most helpful thing is for your "help" to take the big kids out for a day trip! They get some non-baby attention and get to run off some energy, and you get to bond/sleep!

kayway85 · October 2015

Tonerl2015 said:

mama930 said:
I had my daughter- baby girl- 9/29 via c section. He date was 10/3. Healthy and happy.
For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to have my mother in law come stay and help with the 4/2 year olds while I recover and spend time nursing. NOT A GOOD IDEA. Day 4 of postpartum was the worst but made a nightmare with mother in law there. Ladies- even if you tolorate your mother fig type helping you out after baby- don't do it!!!!
So, what about it wasn't a good idea?? Were you just uncomfortable with her there or she didn't really help with the older kids, or...?

I'm curious too. What went wrong?

CocoR04 · October 2015

If it weren't for my 2-yo, I'd love to not have anyone around after baby. My parents stress me out beyond belief in any situation that might be out of the ordinary. My mom talks about worst case scenarios and my dad makes unhelpful suggestions. My in-laws just ask questions all the time and I can't figure out if they are quizzing me or really interested in my answers. However, DS will be entertained by them all and it will give DH and I a chance to bond with baby.

tracij12 · October 2015

@erinboehme that is even worse!!!

erinboehme · October 2015

@CocoR04, my mom constantly brings up worst case scenarios too! "What if DH dies?" "What if the baby gets switched at birth and you raise a baby that wasn't yours?" (She's totally convinced DS2 was switched at birth. He looks EXACTLY like my husband though.)

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