It's Starting..the Well Wishers

Rikki_5 · October 2015

So my phone has been blowing up today people asking me has baby come yet, etc. etc. Yesterday my aunt and cousin stop by unannounced to look at baby's room. Just wondering how bad this is going to get. MIL text my husband reminding him to let them know when I go into labor. My SIL is texting me saying "how is my baby doing?" Uh, sorry it's not your baby it's my baby. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive... Mom is coming up tomorrow night and my sister is too....DH is asking me how I want to handle visitors in the hospital and at home.

Those who have had your babies how are you dealing with family?

Wigglesx2 · October 2015

"How's my baby?"

I HATE that. You aren't carrying this child. You haven't had to deal with this pregnancy. You won't go into labor.

Ugh!

My family isn't coming and we won't have to deal much with my husband's. I have a friend that wants to come to the hospital the second I go into labor and stay with us. She keeps saying she'll never have a baby so this is her only way to experience it. My husband wants us to spend the first few days just us getting to know our baby so there is conflict.

Rikki_5 · October 2015

Ya, I know I didn't even respond when she said that. But, I give her a little slack cuz she's wanted a baby for awhile and can't conceive. Still ...it's irritating. You are lucky not to have to deal with family so much. Both sides of our family are all geeked out to the point where I'm afraid I'm not even going to be able to bond sufficiently. It's the first grandchild on both sides and on both sides the first baby in quite a long time. Not many children on either side of our families. Luckily, DH has said he will do whatever I want and deal with his side of the family. I realize everyone is excited and everyone loves babies, but I just wish everyone would chill out and let me go through this in my own way. And realize, once I have the baby I will let you know, you don't have to text or call me each day asking for an update, especially when I've barely heard from you throughout my whole pregnancy. Sheesh!

kstitt0830 · October 2015

I will not be telling anyone I'm in labor or having the baby until after she is out and we have had our family time...I've made this clear to everyone so they already know

CCasey2015 · October 2015

I find it extremely creepy when people refer to my unborn child as their baby (how's my baby doing?)!

jefinley1 · October 2015

So obviously it would kind of be nasty if someone were ttc and having a hard time, but otherwise, I think the best response to people asking about "their" baby when referring to yours would definitely be, "You're having a baby too?!?!?! Oh my god how exciting!" no matter their age or gender. I feel it would be worth it just for the bewildered look, and the follow up of, "Oh wait, you meant my baby."

I don't understand how childbirth and rearing came to be though of as so communal an experience.

millereliz13 · October 2015

I before we went to the hospital said, the fist day, I only want grandparents to be there. I had a c-section, so I used the fact that I don't do well with anesthesia as an excuse to it be just a few of us. When people reached out, I asked if we could schedule them after we got home. Since we had him on Friday and went home on Monday, we have had a few visitors but for the most part, we have been given space to get used to being a family. (Note: if this talks in circles, sleep deprivation is a heck of a brain buster)

LLynde5 · October 2015

We live three hours away from our family so we will call our parents when I go into labor. If they want to head down they can but will be waiting in the waiting room. And we will be putting them up in hotels. My BF is 20 minutes away and I am sure will be in for the majority of my stay as well. I was there for the birth of her son because her family couldn't be and she wants to return the favor. Other than that no visitors. Our sibling can come when we are settled at home or a week or so later;)

bmolson1 · October 2015

It's probably not going to get any better. My SIL has been really bugging me with the "have you had that baby" and "still cooking?" And random people ask all day every day how far along I am, make comments about my size, ask if I'm ready etc. I try to be grateful for people being interested, but it's exhausting especially when I have my own anxiety and questions about when she's going to come. I'm 2 days overdue and you'd think I was 50 weeks pregnant the way people are acting. Yesterday someone asked what was wrong with me that I didn't have the baby on her due date (jokingly, but STILL!!) and every time I call my mom or my husband I can hear the panic in their voices when they answer the phone. Almost there...baby won't stay in there forever.

TBar1589 · October 2015

Ahhhh I feel you! Well meaning family is stressing me out too! My brother and sister in law invited themselves to stay the weekend at our house this weekend

leah665 · October 2015

Really the only way to get your point across is be direct. I had friends and some family inviting themselves to the birth. I told everyone no. Only my mom and boyfriend will be at the birth. I am having the baby at a birthing center and the recovery before discharge is about 8 hours. So after we get home people can come see the baby and do something to help me, like cook a meal or do some laundry.

nianicho777 · October 2015

kstitt0830 said:
I will not be telling anyone I'm in labor or having the baby until after she is out and we have had our family time...I've made this clear to everyone so they already know

This is what I'm doing as well. That doesn't stop ppl from texting every day to ask though lmao I'm being induced today at 1:30 so it's a little easier to manipulate ppl when they ask by just saying he'll come when he comes and leave it at that. I never knew ppl were THIS annoying at the end.

stacielp · October 2015

I listed my due date and told everyone it was actually two weeks later than it is. Everyone will find out when I'm ready to share the baby has been birthed. I am so glad I did that!

alinic916 · October 2015

I think I'm in the unpopular opinion on this topic (at least on this thread). I really appreciate how excited everyone is about the baby coming. Our little girl is the first grandchild on both sides. I've got several texts/phone calls, etc from friends and family asking how I'm feeling and/or if I'm in labor yet. While it can get old answering the same questions, I know they are only asking because they mean well and are excited too.

As for dealing with family after the baby arrives, I am very thankful for having a small family (most of them live out of state) because I don't have to worry about being too overwhelmed with visitors, but at the same time I couldn't imagine not telling my family when I was in the hospital to deliver. Hope you are about to find a happy-medium with getting rest after the baby arrives and all your visitors. Just remember, they are happy for you and excited to meet your little one as well.

sbailey233 · October 2015

I agree it's getting frustrating having everyone asking when she's coming and what's going on. Do you seriously think it's necessary to ask everyday if she's here yet? We'll let you know people! As if I don't have enough anxiety about it already. Then there's my SIL who recently moved 18 hours away. She's planned a week long trip home starting on my due date so she can meet baby girl. Which is fine because she'll have other things to do and people to visit while she's here (sorry but you're not hanging out at my house all week!), but she has the nerve to tell me make sure baby's here by then. Seriously?! It doesn't help that she already irritates me by calling her "her princess". No! She's MY princess. I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time sharing her with everyone. I know everyone's just excited but after coming from a rough childhood and cutting ties with almost all of my biological family I can't help but feel protective.

sarapagan · October 2015

Rikki_5 said:

My SIL is texting me saying "how is my baby doing?" Uh, sorry it's not your baby it's my baby. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive...

Yep. Our SILs must be best friends. Wait til she finds out she's not getting picked for godmother (she's convinced she is...but she's a raging crazy bitch so thats a big fat NOPE--and a whole nother story that needs snacks to get into)

clafo · October 2015

I sing on the worship team at church and have recently asked to be off the team until after the baby arrives. I've explained to my mother that I won't be on stage, but she still frantically calls me every Sunday morning. Every time she calls me I'm sitting in church. Every time she says 'Well, I was afraid you were in labor and didn't tell me.' This is my third child. I've never gone into labor on my own. I've been induced with each child, including this one. She's always been notified. The woman is going to drive me nuts. Lol

JaqiDec04 · October 2015

This is why I will lie to everyone accept my mother and my husband's coworkers about the actual date/time of my RSC. And its also why I turn off my Facebook wall. Because otherwise you get daily wall posts from everyone asking how you are feeling, and if today is the day and blah blah blah.

It worked last time. No one Facebook harassed me, no one text harassed me while I was in labor, and no one posted on social media before I had a chance (I threatened disownment)

kayway85 · October 2015

I'm really independent and it's difficult for me to accept help from people. Everything feels like an imposition to me. If you think it's bad now, wait until the baby actually comes! My only advice is to try and let it go. Your family is excited and nervous for you, as annoying as it is. And when the baby comes, try and be as accepting of help as you can be, you will want to do it all yourself, but in order for you to recover and bond with your baby, it's better (IMO) to let others pick up the slack when it comes to laundry, making meals...etc. Then when you feel like yourself again, it's not so overwhelming to return to everyday life.

Nicolesull89 · October 2015

I am in the same boat. I am extremely
concerned about this. With my
Own family I have no problem
Just telling them
To back off but I don't want offend my
Husband's family. This is my
First and I want time
To enjoy her on my own. My
Husband also goes away for work and I don't want people to think that if he's at work it means they need to be here.

dominguezbaby · October 2015

I'm getting a lot of that as well and it's irritating me. It's my first child and I work at the hospital I am delivering so some of my nursing coworkers are saying "see you Monday" (my induction day).... I'm sorry but I'm sure people are excited but there is no way im going to be comfortable receiving people while I'm in labor! I can't hide the fact that I'm there because everyone can access the computer system and type in my name and there it will pop up along with my room number! I only want my husband in the birthing room with me and maybe my sister to record the birth... I don't know how to say it nicely that I don't want ramd people visiting me! Also when I'm in post partum I don't wand people walking in on me while I'm getting the hang of breastfeeding my daughter... I'm frustrated

yesipila · October 2015

stacielp said:
I listed my due date and told everyone it was actually two weeks later than it is. Everyone will find out when I'm ready to share the baby has been birthed. I am so glad I did that!

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant..

whitemn04 · October 2015

I told hubby we will invite who we want to come see us. Primarily his and my parents and maybe siblings (I have 2 sisters, him 1 brother). Other than that friends can wait until we get settled at home. It's not that I wouldn't mind a few visitors, just don't want to be overwhelmed with a constant flow of people and no alone time.

clengelke · October 2015

DH and I also plan to not tell anyone when I go into labor, because when my niece was born my mother was running around the hospital like a crazy woman. But worse than family is my coworkers. I'm working up until I go into labor or can't handle anymore, and every single day my coworkers comment saying "you're still here?!" Or "when is the baby coming?".
Yes, I'm still here, obviously.
I don't know when the baby is coming, he'll get here when he gets here.

xpaperx · October 2015

dominguezbaby said:
I'm getting a lot of that as well and it's irritating me. It's my first child and I work at the hospital I am delivering so some of my nursing coworkers are saying "see you Monday" (my induction day).... I'm sorry but I'm sure people are excited but there is no way im going to be comfortable receiving people while I'm in labor! I can't hide the fact that I'm there because everyone can access the computer system and type in my name and there it will pop up along with my room number! I only want my husband in the birthing room with me and maybe my sister to record the birth... I don't know how to say it nicely that I don't want ramd people visiting me! Also when I'm in post partum I don't wand people walking in on me while I'm getting the hang of breastfeeding my daughter... I'm frustrated

How is that not a HIPPA violation??? Sorry but I am outraged for you and so glad I'm not delivering at the hospital where my FIL works in maintenance.

erinboehme · October 2015

@dominguezbaby, not nearly as bad, but I'm delivering at the hospital where my husband works. I have already asked him to let everyone know I don't want them to visit.

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