Community› The Bump Month Clubs› October 2015 Moms
October 2015 Moms
New Discussion

Much needed advice please

kirsty100kirsty100 member
in October 2015 Moms
So the other night I was talking to my bil about issues his mother and I had while being pregnant and things I hope don't happen when baby is born, he was great it wasn't like I sat there and bagged his mum out, I have previously posted on here about my mil. I recently found out through him that she suffers from schizophrenia, which he accidentally found out, my mil and fil both don't know we all know now, I really feel as though this is something that should of been told to us so we had more of an understand of why she can be so hard to deal with all the time. I also don't feel comftable leaving my baby with her on her own due to this, I have felt this way before knowing she had schizophrenia as I don't feel she will listen to anything we say regarding my partners and my child. She never really listens she just goes and does her own thing also seeing her look after other children I've never really felt comftable. I'm wondering if I am being unreasonable I feel as though I have every right to keep my child safe but I don't feel like I need to tell her why she will not be baby sitting either as she hasn't told anyone about her problem she is putting our child at risk by not letting us know her health problems as she does struggle with focusing on things and honestly does whatever she wants regardless of anyone else's feelings
Report Reply to Post

Re: Much needed advice please

  • emeraudecephiroemeraudecephiro member
    I am missing a question here.. but I am guessing it is if you are justified to not let your Mil babysit because she has schizophrenia. I am kind of confused how you know that if neither of them told you though.

    I will start off with I have schizoaffective disorder, it is between bipolar and schizophrenic.

    It would depend if she is treated for schizophrenia, if she is not, I would say no also as I know as well as anyone they can be unstable a lot of the time. Either way disorder or not, if she doesn't listen to you then i'd say no too. But I wouldn't say no on disorder alone. We can be good people too :)
    imageVincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome image
    baby
      BabyFruit Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • kirsty100kirsty100 member
    Woops sorry doesn't make sense my my brother Inlaw found documents stating she has schizophrenia by accident as he was looking for a bill or something, my question was should I feel bad not wanting to leave my child with her? My dad also has mental illnesses not being treated but there quite obvious and I wouldn't leave my child with him also. But she is very sensitive and takes things very personally I sort of don't know how to deal with it all? Because she is so overbearing and crazy.
    Report Reply
  • millereliz13millereliz13 member
    If she's being treated, then she may feel no need to tell you especially if it's under control. My niece has it, and shes got treatment for it and i trust her mote than i trust a lot of people. If I remember right, you had said before she doesn't listen to you and had other issues besides this. My advice is, if the mental illness is not the reason, then you need to say, I'm not having you babysit because we don't need you to feel obligated. Or have your husband handle it. Sorry if this isn't written clearly, coffee hasn't kicked in.
    Report Reply
  • CupcakesandquiltsCupcakesandquilts member
    I wouldn't base your decisions about who cares for your baby on diagnoses, but instead their behavior. It sounds like she can't be trusted to care for your baby the way you want, which is of huge concern. I would feel the way you do too; please don't feel bad because your baby's safety is your business.
    Report Reply
  • leah665leah665 member
    I'll preface this with the comment that it really makes me sad how mental illness is treated as a taboo subject. Maybe for that reason she has not told anyone about her illness.

    As far as letting her watch your child, I would do what a previous poster said. If before you knew her diagnosis, you weren't comfortable with her watching your child then I would go with that feeling. However, if when you found out you changed your mind I don't think that's fair.

    I would just say that if the baby is going to be with her make sure someone else is also there. Also take into account that she had children and raised them, so she is capable of doing it.
    Report Reply
  • satori15satori15 member
    Absolutely- if she isn't going to listen and care for your baby the way you want then she can't watch him or her. It doesn't matter if she has mental illness or not. This is all about baby's safety and that's not something to ever feel guilty about.
    Report Reply
  • kirsty100kirsty100 member
    I understand the whole mental illness thing ect I have suffered with depression and anxiety but I also treat it, which I generally live a pretty good life, i feel that we should of been told because obviously mental illnesses can be hereditary I need to know. Yes she ha raised her two sons but my fil has done most of the work. I also feel bad knowing this and him going through it alone I now understand why she behaves certain ways which is good but I also feel a little guilty for getting so angry about things. I'm happy for her to watch our baby if my fil is home but there really isn't any need for her to watch our baby, I do worry she will be full on once this baby has come but that is something for my partner to deal with. Thanks for the advice.
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"