December 2015 Moms

Complete and utter breakdown

So - I have mentioned this before, I am currently unemployed and NO ONE hires expecting mommies. I have few skills that I can use to make money from home so were slowly sinking deeper and deeper into debt. This morning I realized how bad it is and that I have been hiding my head in the sand for the last 7 months regarding our financial situation. 

So I had a breakdown. Full sob fest. Cos poor hubby has been carrying all the stress by himself. As soon as he left for work I totally broke down. My dog actually came and sniffed at my face and lay down by my feet. 

I know there are other ladies on here experiencing financial difficulties and just wanted to let you all know, I get it and we will get out of this too! 
Lilypie Maternity tickers

Re: Complete and utter breakdown

  • I'm so sorry to hear you're having a tough time, I pray it gets better for you.
    It's good your dog comforted you though, pets are great that way
    Keeping you in my thoughts!
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  • Thanks @dec15mum i really appreciate it. Sometimes it just helps to sob and vent though doesnt it?
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • If DH isn't making enough to support you all, surely you could get some government assistance until you have baby and can get a job?
  • I fear that we may be headed in the same direction. My DH and I have been together for 17 years and have faced hard times numerous times over the years. We have been doing great for about 4 years now but with baby no. 3 on the way and I plan on trying to take six months off and then taking a part time job, I fear that we may not make be able to make it, but we certainly can't afford childcare for 3 children. Not sure how we will make it through 2016, and very stressed about it. I know we'll survive, but money problems always adds stress to our relationship, then to add another baby too worries me. I'm just hoping to get as much stuff paid off in the interim as possible.
  • ecotton1234ecotton1234 member
    edited October 2015
    *Posted on wrong thread somehow*
  • Definitely see about getting some form of assistance. Seriously, that is what it is there for. There is nothing wrong with accepting assistance until you are back on your feet. Good luck and I'm sorry to hear you're going through such stress :(
  • I agree with looking into assistance.  I know its discouraging, but just keep sending out applications and utilize any connections you have to get interviews.  Others have been in your position before and you never know when your situation might resonate with an interviewer.  And its okay to break down and cry - sometimes our bodies just need that release.  Stay strong, it will get better.  


  • OP, have you tried a staffing agency?  Some deal specifically in short term projects, so the hiring companies don't care if the person is pregnant, as long as the project gets done within the needed time frame.  This might allow you to make some extra income before baby comes. Just a thought!
  • I thought it was illegal to refuse someone a job based on pregnancy...
  • I thought it was illegal to refuse someone a job based on pregnancy...
    It is, but at the same time it's very easy to say that someone else was more qualified and not touch the pregnancy topic ... very hard to prove you weren't hired because of pregnancy :(
  • I agree that staffing agencies could be a great bet. Lots of them have clients wanting receptionists just for short term fills here and there. Or small projects that only last a couple weeks. They can keep you employed (moving from place to place) and stop whenever you need them to.

    Can you also look into nannying once baby is here? A lot of people like the idea of nanny shares where the nanny charges slightly less to have their child there as well. If you have any child care experience that could be an option too. 
  • I thought it was illegal to refuse someone a job based on pregnancy...
    It is, but at the same time it's very easy to say that someone else was more qualified and not touch the pregnancy topic ... very hard to prove you weren't hired because of pregnancy :(
    This. I had a very, very small window between finishing my year of university and my bump beginning to show in which to get a job. I didn't, and I didn't even bother once I started showing. They can say anything from "someone else was more qualified" to "your goals and the company's goals don't line up." You need to have a ridiculously good case in order to prove that it was just because you're pregnant.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Don't say no one hires expecting mommies bc I got a job at 28 weeks...it's possible.
  • Thanks @dec15mum i really appreciate it. Sometimes it just helps to sob and vent though doesnt it?

    Unfortunately in SA they dont offer a lot of unemployment benefits, and we live in such a small community that staffing agencies arent an option - i have looked into it on more than one occasion.

    Still applying everywhere, still trying to find work from home opportunities. By no means am I taking this lying down.

    thanks to everyone for the kind words of support.
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • I'm sorry that you are having these issues. I said a little prayer for your and I hope things begin to change for the better.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @angelicmommy I completely understand the feeling your going through. I'm kind of in the opposite situation, my hubby went back to study at the beginning of this year for a 12 month course and we found out unexpectedly about having our first little bubba.

    It was initially a shock and I did have a breakdown at the beginning stressing about our finances, I still have them from time to time. I'm almost 30 weeks, my income is supporting our little family with all our bills, expenses and preparing for a baby... It's hard when I've felt sick and unable to work knowing that if I don't go to work that's money we lose out from that week.

    It's also stressed out and make the hubby feel guilt (even though I've told him he is doing something that is going to help our family financial when he has a career and not just a job). I feel ya sister!! We are totally entitled to having a bad day and the occasional sob/breakdown (I'd had one a few days ago)... But just remember that it will work itself out!
  • MillyDallyMillyDally member
    edited October 2015
    I hear you, money is so stressful! My hubby and I moved back to his hometown after we found out we were pregnant, luckily I found a job at the college right away, but it's a small town and he is having trouble finding a job still. We are living with the in-laws until then, which is even more stressful!!
    We've been reaching out to friends and family for hand-me-downs, and a lot of family is pitching in with new stuff too. We got WIC and we are doing side jobs, he's been offering to mow neighbors' lawns or weed, and I've been doing surveys and app gigs for some extra cash.
    You're right- we will get through this!! I say get on Pinterest and search for side jobs or sign up for Care.com and do some babysitting or petsitting jobs. Good luck!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • What about driving for uber or lyft in your free time? Or signing up for those studies? There are 2 websites you can be a mock jurer for $120-$150 a day. I don't know where you're located but there are also assistance in marketing studies you can do with differing pay usually around $100 or more for 1-2 hours. I also do nail polish and mascara studies $50 cash and all I have to do is wear the nail polish for a week. If you have a degree you could be a substitute teacher and since its per day also they don't care if you're pregnant which around here is also $100 a day or more... It's definitely helpful to try these things and bring your debt down a little now because once baby is here it will be even more difficult.
  • Have you thought about looking into substitute teaching in your School District
  • Unfortunately I live in South Africa so a lot of the suggestion you guys have been giving arent open to me. We dont have quite te same goverment support systems, all though I can apply for a grant once baby is here.

    But since posting my rant, we have sat down and decides on things we can cut down on and can cut out completely. I have also started making Christmas decorations in hopes of selling them soon as the season is getting closer and closer...

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
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