Gut feeling something is wrong?

RosyK · September 2015

Any moms (especially those who've already got a few) ever just have a feeling that something is wrong?

This is my 5th pregnancy, will be 4th baby. With all my others, I remember feeling the baby more than I do right now (18 weeks) by this point.

I had an appt last week, and the hb was good (155), but I just can't shake the feeling. My aunt's fourth baby died of anencephaly (although a little bit later in the pregnancy) and I remember her saying she knew something was wrong because she never felt the baby move.

Our 9+ week u/s looked fine... Am I being crazy? You'd think I'd be used to this pregnancy thing by now!

matteosmom2012 · September 2015

pregnancy is such a nerve wracking time! I think if I had been pregnant 5 times and something felt even slightly different i'd be even more anxious. Do you have your anatomy scan scheduled yet? hopefully that can help you relax

llybeck · September 2015

I'm so sorry you're worrying! It is a crappy feeling and I know what you mean, before my u/s at around 8 weeks I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong and that I shouldn't get too attached. Baby was fine but sometimes I still feel like that. Some days I'll get a bad feeling and worry about DD too, for no reason, and then I pick her up from daycare and I feel a huge relief. When I was pregnant with DD I would get that feeling too, even when I was close to the end. It's just something that is in the back of your mind.

I don't think you're being crazy, I think this is something a lot of (if not most) people worry about. Just remember that every baby and pregnancy is different and there could be a lot of reasons why you aren't feeling them like you did with the others. Your placenta could be in a different position, the baby could be in a different position, or this baby just might not be as active. I know it's hard but try not to worry, everything is probably just fine!

kynbar5 · September 2015

I'm on my 6th viable pregnancy and am close to 15 weeks. I felt my 4th at 12 weeks (although he did measure big the whole pregnancy) and my 5th at 13-14 weeks. This one I have been a little worrisome because I haven't felt her/him yet but I'm naturally a worrier so I attribute it to that since my previous appointments have been good (baby moving and good heartbeat). I'd try to just woosaw it out and if you're very worried call your dr and see if your appointment can be moved up. I know that with my Drs office they do what they can to easy any worries or stress in these situations if at all possible. I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I honestly do understand.

oceanchild · September 2015

yes. i have really been wanting to post something similarly, and honestly was just really afraid to, afraid of the reactions/judgements, because i know that the feelings in my head/heart probably wouldn't come out right not in person. this is also my 4th baby, 5th pregnancy. i feel embarrassed and ashamed to admit this, but here goes ..

with my first, for some reason my entire pregnancy i was fixated on this fear that my baby would have autism. (i know it isn't some death sentence, but i was really worried about it.) baby was born - we had a boy, very social, very engaging and happy. it was around 7-8 months i really started to notice his stimming and odd behaviors for his age. i had him in early intervention at 18m. husband was in denial but i always knew. we got an official diagnosis when he was 2.5y. he's very high functioning and EI made all the difference! but my pregnancy fear came true. there was another instance with him that i always really fixated on worrying over, that also came true - a premonition that he unlocked the door and got out of the house while i was in the bathroom. that exact scenario happened one day; we put alarms on all the doors that go outside after that. he is a runner - he would bolt without warning.
with my second and third pregnancies, i never had any fears. a girl and a boy, neurotypical and healthy.
another one of my biggest fears is dry-drowning, or the kids falling into a pool (the neighbors in the house that is next door and slightly behind us have a pool that has no fence or anything around it). two of my kids have fallen into pools in closely supervised situations (and due to being closely supervised, they were both thankfully okay, although one was a definite scare for dry-drowning risk). this just made me feel like my weird premonitions were valid somehow.

with my miscarriage, i had a feeling from the start that the pregnancy was going to end. it was the only one that we didn't announce immediately the first day, we waited a couple of weeks to tell family and friends, and never posted it on facebook.

with this pregnancy, as soon as i took the test, i have been unable to chake the feeling that this baby has a trisomy (particularly 21). it wouldn't change anything, but i still lose sleep over it at night. i just feel like if i knew i could start researching and preparing. finding support. i know that babies with Downs had a lower breastfeeding success rate, so that would be something i would research early. and then i know the whole fear is irrational. i almost had the screening done, but i knew that if it was positive, i wouldn't risk amnio, so it would be pointless. my doctor told me that he has seen mamas get a diagnosis before birth, and proceed to grieve thru the rest of their pregnancies and cry thru their labors. and he has seen mamas get a diagnosis at birth, and they have their sweet babies in their arms and they are somehow more peaceful with the acceptance. he talked me out of the test - i told my husband later (i hadn't revealed my feelings to him bc i didn't want him to worry too) and he was so relieved i didn't do the screening. we will just wait to peek in on things at the anatomy scan. the only other person i shared this with was a friend who had said she experienced the same with her second (middle) baby. he was born perfectly healthy. this is our last baby, and i have resolved to stop fixating on my fears and just try to enjoy the pregnancy (which pregnancy isn't typically an enjoyable experience for me so haha). worrying won't change anything, but can be unhealthy for me and the baby (and affects the rest of the family).
all this to say, i know sometimes those feelings sneak in and you cant control them or stop them and they can be so consuming. i empathize - {{hugs}}

oceanchild · September 2015

sorry that was so long; i hope it didn't make things worse. it may be noteworthy to point out that i have an anxiety disorder that i have chosen not to medicate at this point. this isn't stuff that i usually share, but i wanted you to know you aren't alone or weird.

flowerpower5838 · September 2015

hug animated GIF

HUGS to you both and anyone else that is feeling this way.

cmerribury · September 2015

Lots of hugs, guys. None of you are weird, or alone. I think worry comes with the territory. I don't know if it means anything, and I certainly hope it doesn't. I agree having your a/s would probably help ease any fears you may have...is that scheduled yet?

kynbar5 · September 2015

@oceanchild I understand a lot of what you said intimately. My oldest is also autistic and had a pool accident once. Thank God I was there as he was fine. My daughter had a pool incident while with my mother one day and thank God there was a lifeguard on duty that day because she too is ok. Also, yes, my anxiety is, at times, a bit ridiculous although I feel they're justified. Creepy Internet hugs for everyone... Now I need some kleenex... Gotta say, these March '16 ladies are pretty amazing women!

skruhmin · September 2015

This is my 4th pregnancy, 3rd baby. My first two were super active from the beginning - I think I felt #1 at right around now - 17 weeks and I felt #2 at 9 weeks (yeah, I know, people doubt, but it really was him moving) - he was incredibly active in the womb and HURT me so much - he's incredibly active outside of the womb too. This one, I felt early on, like right around 9/10 weeks but it's been so few and far between. I'll catch little nudges here and there but nothing like DS2. You have to keep in mind you may have anterior placenta which would definitely block feeling movement. You may have a lazy baby. Take heart, AS is coming up soon. Hopefully you'll get the relief you're looking for.

oceanchild · September 2015

@RosyK i also had anterior placentas with the first three pregnancies (this one i seem to maybe not!) and i wasn't feeling the babies at 18w (between 18-19w w/my first, but 25w with my second (!!) and 22w (i think it was) with my 3rd. maybe that can offer some reassurance too. my second hardly ever moved in utero, and my third hardly ever stopped in utero - he moved so much he made me literally sick!

soxfan9968 · September 2015

I have no words of wisdom besides what has already been said (anterior placenta, lazy baby) but wanted to send out positive thoughts and hugs.

RosyK · September 2015

It definitely help to hear that other btdt moms feel the same way. I do have my anatomy scan a week from today (and that's the first available appointment)... I'm hoping my fears are put to rest then... All organs are there and formed etc. I can tell (by the very infrequent faint nudges I have felt) that this baby is incredibly low in my uterus, even at 17 weeks, the hb was close to my groin, so I'm wondering if that has something to do with it.

I hope we all start to feel more confident in our babies' healths in the coming weeks as anatomy scans are carried out...

SparkE82 · September 2015

As my mother would say "As a mom, it's your job to worry."

I have no other advice to give that PP's haven't already said. Hang in there and try as best you can to enjoy your pregnancy now.

llybeck · September 2015

Hugs to everyone! Seriously, this is a pretty great group of ladies and I'm glad that even though it isn't a good feeling, it's something we can relate to each other on and not feel like it's crazy. I have definitely become more of a worrier since having DD and even when I was pregnant with her. I thought it would lessen with this pregnancy but nope, I think worrying is just part of being a mom

labacker · September 2015

I cried myself to sleep on Sunday night due to fear of something not being right with this baby. I think part of it is due to the fact that we're approaching October and that's when baby #1 was due. DH is super supportive and tells me to focus on the good news we get at each appointment but sometimes that's not enough. 16w appointment is 2 weeks from tomorrow and I'm literally counting down the hours. I wish I was the happy-go-lucky, naive pregnant lady that I was with pregnancy #1.

So thankful for this supportive board!

skruhmin · September 2015

@RosyK DS2 was incredibly low the entire time. My ribs were thankful but he loved to karate chop and dropkick my cervix constantly.

labacker · September 2015

"Drop kick my cervix" ... Just busted out laughing! Haha!!

blueeyedrose86 · September 2015

This board warms my heart ♥

lcq5504 · September 2015

Totally agree with @labacker about being as happy go lucky and naive as the first time around. This pregnancy has been worrisome for me too, even though every appointment has gone well (thankfully!). Hang in there mamas! Ts&Ps for everyone!!! :x

FutureMrsCaesar · September 2015

Another mom in the same boat. This is baby #4 for me, and I am a worrier by nature, but I can't shake this feeling that something is going to go wrong with this pregnancy. A large part of it is that I literally cannot believe I'm actually having a girl, I really never thought I'd have a girl and I guess part of me is hanging on to that belief even though I know in my mind I'm currently carrying a little girl. It seems so surreal. Also two of my friends have lost their baby girls, one at 39 weeks and one at delivery, which I realize has nothing to do with them being girls, just really unfortunate events. Originally I was convinced I would miscarry, then I thought my NT scan would come back bad, now that is all behind me it's almost like my brain is searching for more things to worry about, spina bifida, autism, etc. Like someone else said, I wish I could turn it all off and just enjoy the pregnancy. At any rate, hugs and sympathy to all the other moms dealing with this. Hang in there!

maddynnugget · October 2015

I always thought I'd enjoy my second pregnancy more since I could be all "been there done that" after the first. Didn't work out that way though. This is my fourth pregnancy and I have a nine year old and this little nugget on the way to show for them. I feel like my last two miscarriages robbed me of an overall sense of security and, for lack of a better word innocence, about pregnancy. And each loss just highlighted how badly I wanted another child.

Being AMA this time makes not worrying that much trickier. My new doctor is big on genetic counseling which I have found to be less helpful and more of a slide show of all the awful things that might go wrong with your baby because it took so long to get a second viable pregnancy. I wish I could relax more but it's tough. Hugs to everyone else who is experiencing this.

Smom901316 · October 2015

I had my anatomy scan Tuesday , I walked into it fully prepared to hear I had miscarried. I just felt impending doom . But the second the wand hit my belly we saw a beautiful healthy and wiggly baby ! I cried. I am slowly starting to feel the baby now even though we are measuring in the 97% for size. She is positioned in a way that unless I am laying still and looking to feel her , I can't, which is the opposite of DD1. I am sending lots of hugs to you mamas, it is hard, but I hope your hearts find peace , going 4-5 weeks between appointments can be so painful.

LoA · October 2015

I gotta say, this post makes me feel better. I'm on my 3rd pregnancy and have had hardly any movement with this pregnancy either! Everything has checked out fine at my appointments, but with my two other pregnancies I just remember both my boys being so active! I also feel guilty for admitting this, but I have not been as attached emotionally with this pregnancy and I feel horrible. It's not that I'm not excited, I just don't feel AS excited, like I did with my other two.., which in turn, puts me in a negative mindset like maybe somethings wrong! Agh! I blame hormones! It's nice to see I'm not crazy with my thoughts. I don't feel like I can explain this to my husband ... He always just says everything will be fine. I know it will, but it's nice to be able to vent my concerns or frustrations

oceanchild · October 2015

LoA said:

I also feel guilty for admitting this, but I have not been as attached emotionally with this pregnancy and I feel horrible. It's not that I'm not excited, I just don't feel AS excited, like I did with my other two.., which in turn, puts me in a negative mindset like maybe somethings wrong! Agh! I blame hormones! It's nice to see I'm not crazy with my thoughts. I don't feel like I can explain this to my husband ... He always just says everything will be fine. I know it will, but it's nice to be able to vent my concerns or frustrations

all of this; i totally get it. and same with my husband. my love-it is in solidarity

Jessimuca · October 2015

I'm with you gals- I have terrible anxiety. Last pregnancy I had it well under control, this time around I can't shake the feeling that an number of horrible things are happening or are going to happen. Many involve the baby, some involve my other loved one. It wakes me up at least a few times per week and then I can't get back to sleep because my irrational, tired brain won't stop.

I have no insight, just sending good vibes out to everyone.

BearBow · October 2015

This is my first pregnancy and even though I'm knew to it all I worry everyday. My mother had complications when giving birth to me and my brother and both my aunts have had loses.

pineapplepancake · October 2015

This thread is wonderful and helps me to feel a bit better. I'm 15 weeks, first pregnancy, and my symptoms for these past couple of weeks have been so mild that I'm constantly terrified that something has already gone terribly wrong. Aside from our parents, we haven't even told a single soul about my pregnancy because I still can't fully wrap my head around it being real...even though the 12 week scan was great it feels like a lifetime ago. My 16 week checkup is next week, hoping they'll let me hear the heartbeat - I feel like that will help. Sending lots of hugs and positive vibes to everyone feeling some anxiety!!!

kellygrace2 · October 2015

All of this. Even though this is the second go around for me, I just worry constantly. I hate the month-long wait between appointments! Everything has looked good at appointments I've had but worrying is what being a mom is all about I guess! I worry about DD and about #2 all the time. Glad I'm not the only one, I feel less neurotic now.

GOOCMEL · October 2015

@oceanchild I am feeling exactly the same

LilWalston · October 2015

This is mine and my Hubby's first baby, and I am 17 weeks along now. Last week I felt flutters (at least I thought that was what I was feeling) but this week I haven't felt anything. I'm worried something is wrong. I have an appointment Wednesday and I'm nervous. It helps to read what you all are going through and know that I'm not alone though, I appreciate the openness!

elle313 · October 2015

@LilWalston its very normal to feel flutters and then nothing again for quite a while (same happened to me and my close friend). Regular movement won't happen until later when baby is bigger and stronger, so try not to stress about it!

DanniNChris · October 2015

Try not to worry I know its easier said than done , I'm a ftm and I also have the ugly irrational fears enter my head to sometimes but I ignore it & focus that in 20 weeks I will be wheeled into theater to meet my precious baby .

To the last mumma ,try not worry & focus on movements I'm 18.3 weeks and some days bubs is going nuts but then I may not feel him/her for 3 - 4 days then bam he/she going nuts again its all normal at this stage of pregnancy if your super worried buy yourself a Doppler I've got one & I listen once in the morning & once at night and believe me when I say its the best relief of worry in between appointments and scans

AlissaLee17 · October 2015

I must agree about the Doppler. I only use mine once or twice a week, but it's a relief. Yesterday I sucked in my flab to adjust my pants and felt a sharp, stabbing pain in the area around my uterus. I panicked briefly, but when I got home I found baby still thumping away in there.

Orion815 · October 2015

Thank goodness for this thread. I have been relatively calm since I found out we are pregnant, but ever since we found out it was a boy at our 16-week scan (I am 17w4d now) every little stomach pain, etc has me freaking out. I think finding out the gender made it more "real" and though my husband and I are having fun picking out little boy clothes now I feel like I am jinxing something every time we do. Not sure how to shake this....

Gut feeling something is wrong?

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