July 2015 Moms

End of maternity leave blues...

I go back to work tomorrow. My job has me traveling out of town quite a bit, and just because I'm now a mom doesn't mean I get special treatment. I checked my schedule the other day out of curiosity. Big mistake!!!! I have a cloud looming over me. They have me out of town every.single.week!!!! I'm scared of the separation anxiety. I hope my son doesn't forget me or not realize that I am mom. My heart is broken. I know this is my job, but it hurts so much more than I could imagine. I feel like I'm giving him away and our time is up. please someone tell me he'll recognize me and know I'm his mother. I'm scared of what this will do to our bond. I'm all he's known for the past 12 weeks.

Re: End of maternity leave blues...

  • I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. But just remember, you held him for 9 months and he's the only one who's ever heard your heart beating. He will know you're his mama and that bond can never be broken! Keep it up and I hope your schedule eases up a bit! Good luck & praying for you guys! ;)
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  • I'm so sorry and can totally relate. While I don't go out of town my work days are really long which means I won't see her before work because it's so early when I leave and so late once I get home. It's devastating to me to have to leave her. Never thought I would feel like this! Good luck to you!
  • I've been back to work for a week. I like my job but it sucks going back. The highlight though, hands down is seeing his face light up with smiles when I pick him up afterwards. One of my worries was that he'd start to prefer grandma to me if he's with her all day. But I was worrying for nothing, he totally digs mama coming to get him! And another nice plus is eating lunch with two hands. Worst thing (besides pumping 2-3x while there) is that when we get home it's like rapid fire feeding/bottle washing/diaper bag packing/laundry/bath/feeding/bed to do it all over again the next day. We're getting him to bed by 9:30 and need to make that earlier but that's how long it takes to do all that crap. It's freaking exhausting and not getting a restful sleep then going to work is no fun.
  • I go back soon and I'm getting weepy about it at least once a day. Fortunately my mom will watch him but I worry that he'll be sad without me or won't really miss me. I think him being sad would be worse. I don't mind getting back to work but my commute is more than an hour each way.
  • @leelee1112 oh I wanted to cry for you just reading your post! What do you do if you don't mind me asking? It must pay well & hoping you do something you enjoy! I dread going back too & don't until January 4th & only for 1/2 days. You need to be very strong so you can be your best you when you are home with your precious LO! Hang in there!
  • I start work again on tomorrow I guess, I found out a week before LO was born that my position wasn't a position anymore so I am going back to work to start one I never wanted unless I want to work four 10 hour days a week, my husband lost his job of 2 years a little over a week ago so he will stay home with daddy until he finds another job. The only bonus to all this is in live close enough to work to be able to come home on lunch to see him.
  • I'm right there with you all! I've been contemplating leaving the bedside and going into a leadership role. When I started as an RN, I told myself I'd only do a maximum of 10 years on the night shift and 10 years at the bedside. I've heard too many stories of nurses getting injured by staying at the bedside too long and then ultimately not being able to work or enjoy retirement. So, after 6 years of 12 hour night shifts, I transitioned to days. And now after nearly 8 years as an adult critical care / trauma nurse with one noted injury on the job (trapezius strain) besides the many micro injuries we all assume, I think it's time. I have an interview on Oct 15 at the medical center I just transferred from in April (I currently work at a hospital 15 min from home). It's a major opportunity for upward mobilization plus I've worked there even prior to becoming a nurse and have rubbed elbows with all of the important people. I'm nervous as this would be a major transition for me and my career and if I do get the position, we will be selling our home to purchase one closer to the hospital (hate the 45 min commute). But if I don't get it or decide not to, I'll be back on the unit starting the last week of Octobet and on the hunt to get a position outside of the ICU.

    DS1 7/24/15

    DS2 5/7/17

  • Oof. I'm so sorry. I went back last week and I work in childcare so baby comes with me and is only two classrooms away- And I STILL get separation anxiety!! Don't worry though, he will still know you are mama. That bond won't be broken that easily!!

    Good luck mama!
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  • ecloho said:

    @leelee1112 oh I wanted to cry for you just reading your post! What do you do if you don't mind me asking? It must pay well & hoping you do something you enjoy! I dread going back too & don't until January 4th & only for 1/2 days. You need to be very strong so you can be your best you when you are home with your precious LO! Hang in there!

    @ecloho I am a consultant for a software company. I travel to hospitals all over the U.S. training them how to use an electronic medical record. It's really fun & I enjoy my coworkers & the pay is nice. I wish I could do something similar with less travel. Unfortunately, I can't afford to be a stay at home mom.
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