Stop talking about my weight! (rant)

MillyDally · October 2015

Sorry if this is a redundant post, I searched but didn't find a similar one...

I'll say that I was already overweight when I found out I was pregnant, but I lost weight in the first trimester, gained a good amount through my second, but started gaining a bit more than I should lately. So I started swimming more and I'm watching what I eat. I got good numbers on my glucose test, my blood pressure is great, no swelling or anything, baby is the right size, I just went a little happy on the ice cream.

The thing is- it seems like everyone and their mother wants to comment on my weight, weight gain, eating habits, etc!! If someone spots me eating a cookie at work, they feel the need to tell me to eat something green later, tell me that I'm not eating for two, or remind me that I can get preeclampsia or GB, or that they are concerned about my eating habits, when they don't even eat any meals with me... Is driving me insane. It's like, yes, I have had this chat with my midwife and I am trying to be healthy, but thanks for your concern about my weight...

I can't seriously be the only person dealing with this crap, can I??

blended10 · October 2015

That's incredibly rude!!
My neighbor was making a big deal out of my size & I told her to cut it out. In a nice way, but there was no mistaking I didn't think it was helpful or cute. I gained a bunch of weight with my first pregnancy & lost every ounce pretty quickly so I'm not super worried this time around.
It's amazing people think bc you're preggo suddenly it's open season for criticism & advice. Just kindly ask them to stop- it's really none of their business.

tinydove · October 2015

It's great how people give unsolicited advice, isn't it?! :-w That's super rude. I'd say something now to stop it from going any further. It's not their business, and it doesn't affect them.

MillyDally · October 2015

My FIL giving me a lecture about how he and my MIL were concerned about what I was eating was what really pushed me over the edge. =(

dec15mum · October 2015

That's so rude of them! Especially your MIL and FIL. I mean it's not as if you're so overweight that it's causing harm to the baby, you said the baby was a good size so what's the issue? Its your body, not anybody else's and certainly not for them to comment!
I think it's great you're trying to eat better and go swimming etc, keep going mama!

redfallon · October 2015

I'm so sorry! I've had to tell my husband sometimes (even today) that yes, I am having a snack and no, you are not allowed to talk about it. Your in-laws though, wow. Did they think they were doing an intervention on you or something?

katy4128 · October 2015

Ugh annoying! You are not alone! I have not really gained a ton anywhere but my belly. I coach high school volleyball and one student who does stats for me comments every single game day about how big I am. She will say geeze coach are you sure you aren't due sooner? Ugh I secretly hope this 16 year old gains a ton of weight when she has a baby one day. :>

MillyDally · October 2015

Lol! I have no idea why they think they know what I'm eating. I joke about wanting ice cream all the time and it's like they assume I'm eating tubs and tubs of ice cream every day. My last appointment my midwife said I just gained a couple extra pounds, but since I was already overweight to just keep an eye on what I eat. That I can handle, I mean, I understand that.
My hubby says that everyone wants to be a part of the village that raises the child, so they just think they are helping...

acanfield18 · October 2015

Honey..I gained 80 pounds with my first, 60 with my second and while I've only gained 40 or so this time, I'm much heavier than I was then..everyone has their opinion...but guess what? Idc. I'm healthy and happy.Baby is healthy and growing perfectly... So I'm not mad. Tell everyone to mind their own and do what you think is best.

littleSkittle14 · October 2015

I just got back from visiting my extended family in Puerto Rico. It was a week of "are you sure your dates are right?" "Are you sure its not twins!?" And "wow you should really try to eat less because you look really big for 7 months".

My stepmom took the cake though, by informing me that the fact that I'm pregnant (not my behavior, just the mere fact that I'm pregnant) ruined the entire trip for her (ugh, what?).

People are rude. But in 2 months, you'll get to hold a squishy newborn and they will still be rude!

kittyberet · October 2015

Very very rude. Why do people feel it's okay to comment on a woman's body pregnant or not. Time to shut that mess down. The next time anyone makes any comment about your weight, food you are eating etc tell them "My midwife/OB/medical professional and I are on the same page about my body and what goes in it. That is the only person whom I will be discussing my body with. Thank you for your concerns." If they bring it up again say "I'm not discussing this with you." If you don't set your boundaries this sort of nuttiness could snowball into more invasive territory.

redfallon · October 2015

@littleSkittle14 said:

I just got back from visiting my extended family in Puerto Rico. It was a week of "are you sure your dates are right?" "Are you sure its not twins!?" And "wow you should really try to eat less because you look really big for 7 months". My stepmom took the cake though, by informing me that the fact that I'm pregnant (not my behavior, just the mere fact that I'm pregnant) ruined the entire trip for her (ugh, what?). People are rude. But in 2 months, you'll get to hold a squishy newborn and they will still be rude!

My face literally went :-O at that.

And this seems appropriate for this entire thread...

Peanut1128 · October 2015

It's weird how in any other time in life, it's completely inappropriate to comment on someone's size or shape but when you are pregnant everyone feels comfortable sharing their opinion on how you look. I'm sorry, it's beyond rude. Try to ignore them as best you can. I've had people say I'm look both big and small so a lot of it is just perception.

willashbaby · October 2015

I would flat out tell them that they are being rude and that it's none of their business. Wow, I've been a big girl my whole life and no one is stupid enough to say anything to me unless I bring it up or ASK their opinion.

MillyDally · October 2015

Thank you all! I love the support, especially that I'm not the only person dealing with crazy family.
The main person at work that comments on what I eat is this old guy who also asks how I feel every day and seems genuinely excited for me... So that's not the worst, I guess. It's just the fact that so many people want to comment!

Hawaiianmama17 · October 2015

I hate people!!! I'm sorry people suck....

heather2022 · October 2015

I've been gaining a lot of weight and this is my first pregnancy my doc hasn't said anything about it but a health nurse through WIC said something and I shut her down immediately like its my body my doc hasn't said anything so bite me I was 250+ pounds and lost 90+ before I got pregnant because I was pretty much starving myself ..... Now I'm actually eating again so it was bound to happen I guess I think I have a bad metabolism..... I can't believe some people though like hey its not your body back off

acevans1315 · October 2015

ChiccoBeanz · October 2015

@littleskittle14 I would have told your step mother that her being rude, obnoxious and uncouth was beginning to ruin my relationship with her and that I'm sorry not sorry that my blessing of a pregnancy ruined the trip for her. Scratch one grandma off the list. Pssh, but I'm super moody + hormones= super b*tch. You are probably way nicer than me. So I commend you for not throat punching her.

@ OP ummm I'd tell these unsolicited advisors: Thank you for your concern and unsolicited advice, but my Midwife and I have things under control. Going forward, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't bring up my weight, eating habits and if you would not micromanage what and how I eat. It is incredibly rude, and you are crossing a boundary. Thank you for respecting my feelings. Have a good day.

kvassolo · October 2015

People are so insensitive and have no flipping filter! I would tell them all to f*** off at this point, you know what you can handle and that your baby is healthy and that's all that matters. I'm having a problem with people telling me a look tiny for being pregnant with twins and they seem concerned or something. Um my babies are actually growing quite big and are exactly on track. People think they can say whatever they want and the crazy thing is is that they think they're being helpful or something?? I just don't get it!

coree730 · October 2015

This is what is actually bumming me out today.

Yesterday my boss asked me if I was sure I wasn't having twins. Then today the Fed Ex guy asked me how much longer I had. When I said 12 weeks he said "What?! I thought you were due anyday. "

I actually had my 28 week appointment today and I have only gained 6 lbs this whole pregnancy, but I was overweight to begin with. Anyway, everyone needs to shut the f!@k up!!

bekaadams49 · October 2015

When people ask me am I sure about my due date, or am I really only 7 months, or sure it isn't twins? I always answer sarcastically with, no I was fat before. The look on their face is priceless and they spend the next five minutes trying to say no you aren't big, it's just a lot of baby. But I am a sarcastic b***** in general so my feelings don't hurt easily.

Or you could just break out in tears and that would make them feel like royal a**holes.

The next time you see one of these people eat anything unhealthy, or having a drink or a smoke, maybe you should point out that it isn't healthy for them and they should try something different or ask haven't they had enough already. No one likes being called out on their bad habits. LOL

missphil · October 2015

See, the thing that really bothers me is not that they comment on my weight (sure it's incredible rude, but whatever- my doc said my weight gain has been perfect), it's when they start making comments about my unborn child. I get incredibly protective, mama-bear style. I have gotten: "That's going to be a biiiiiig baby" - well no, actually, he's very average size according to my OB. How dare they start commenting on the sizes (or personalities, activity levels, etc) of our innocent babies.

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