September 2015 Moms

Resentful of DH?

Anyone else finding themselves incredibly resentful and irritated when their husbands wake up refreshed and well rested after you've been up all night with the baby? I'm finding myself ready to smack him in the face when he says "good morning!! Have a great day!" Before leaving for work. Then, he snapchats me a pic of him at lunch with friends having a great time and eating great food... Meanwhile I haven't even had time to eat breakfast, brush my teeth or shower and the LO has been screaming on and off ALL day. I seriously envisioned stabbing my husband, it just sent me into a rage! I know I shouldn't feel this way... But I do. Lack of sleep is affecting my sanity. Anyone else in the same boat?

Re: Resentful of DH?

  • I totally get it trust me
  • Loading the player...
  • I am right there with ya! Preach.
  • Ohhhhhhh yesss!! We are breastmilk bottle feeding. DH said he would take the night shift alone last night and made it 4.5 hours. Then asked me to take over so he could get an our or so of sleep before he went to run a couple of errands. Then slept for 5 hours when he came back. He said he's just not used to staying up all night...you know, like all us new moms are used to it. I too want to give him a smack. I've asked him to skein in the other room uf he was not going to be able to help that night.
  • I can totally relate.
  • My husband has the nerve to say he's tired! He worked from home from July 1st until August 31st and has been off since then. We are very blessed. He is helpful, but we all know who does the majority of everything!
  • I'm sitting here pumping one side before I nurse on the other before I feed 2 oz of formula exhausted while I watch DH sleep. Yup. He will get up and help but I don't feel like it's worth it. Also was anyone else's DH more helpful when LO first got here. It's only been 13 days but there has totally been a decline in the help. Ugh
    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/08S2m4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

  • Yes!!! A total decline in help - that's totally my situation too - he was SO helpful when we first got home from the hospital. It's just slowly tapering off.
  • Absolutely! Or when DH (who is sleeping next to me and baby) wakes up in the morning asking how baby slept ... Umm you didn't wake up each time he was crying? Nope. Told DH for the sake of our marriage to never ask that again and just assume he was up crying. Ha. Or on the weekend when I am up before the sun with LO and DH comes down at 9 and I make a comment about how we talked about on weekends he gets up first with LO to change him and get him dressed ready for me to feed him (giving me a couple extra mins in bed) and he says it is early.... Ummm not really half our day is gone by now. 9 is NOT early.
  • I was. I resented him every morning when he told me HE was tired but I have to say this last week he really stepped up to the plate. LO has started waking EVERY hour. Factor in holding time and I am sleeping in 45 minute pieces. DH has started offering to help and usually gets up with her at 4:30/5 when I have run out of steam. Plus I go to bed after feeding her at 7ish and she and daddy have time then too. The only place it seems she will sleep for more than an hour is on DHs chest.
  • Well I'm sure I would.  However, dh is taking 6 paid weeks off from work, so we've worked out this deal.  I'll be breastfeeding, so the middle of the night is just useless.  Anyway, when he wakes up (he works night shift and sleeps late) the next time the baby feeds and sleeps, I'll get to nap the whole time she does while he entertains the boys. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I might feel different about this after the baby is here but I'm thinking with BF no point for him to wake up at night and help esp if he has to work. However I'm well rested with no baby yet so we'll see lol.
  • Atlasmom said:

    I might feel different about this after the baby is here but I'm thinking with BF no point for him to wake up at night and help esp if he has to work. However I'm well rested with no baby yet so we'll see lol.

    I thought the same thing until the time came and baby was wide awake after feeding in the middle of the night and I hadn't slept at all! Lol. I tried to do it on my own the first few nights, but realized that even if DH couldn't feed him, he could hold him and soothe him to sleep afterward so I could get an hour of sleep at least :) Now that he's back to work I'm trying to avoid waking him at night, but we're also going to start going to bed earlier so if I do need his help for a few hours at night, he could still help me out while getting at least 6 hours of sleep. It's easier now that LO is 4 weeks old and sleeping 4-5 hour stretches at night.
  • They say if you need help to ask SO for it. I'm hoping with this baby (and first with my husband) that I'll be more open to asking for help when i need it. I remember almost everyday and night feeling resentful of ex SO who would come home from work and say how tired he was and ask where dinner was and then go to bed at like 8 or 9 .I basically lived out of our living room with a pack and play as not to disturb him. Not this time around!
  • I try not to wake my SO up at night but I refuse to camp out in the living room all night. He's a heavy sleeper and only hears the baby when he's really crying which lasts 10-15 minutes at most. He will help if I really need it. This week I needed an extra hand since our baby had just had his circumcision and trying to change a poopy diaper with being careful about his penis is hard!
    The only time I really resent my SO is when he complains about not going out. I get pissed off on weekends though when he won't wake up and help in the night.
  • I was disappointed at first that DH works from home as I wanted to have some alone time with DD but now I'm so thankful! I can take the older kids to school, take a shower, go shopping, take a nap. The flexibility has me feeling like I didn't just give birth 2.5 weeks ago. I am a heavy sleeper and he is a light one so sometimes he deals will DD all night and I sleep. He naps with her during the day as he makes his own hours. I know this will all change when I go back to work but I'm loving this right now.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I think my DH read this post because he has become really helpful again lol.
    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/08S2m4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

  • paine0925 said:

    I'm confused... My husband works 830-4pm mon-fri... But I work 24/7 7 days a week... This baby NEVER stops... So I'm up all night, up all day. If this ain't work, I don't know what is. So the excuse that he needs sleep before he works the next day... Umm yeeeah me toooo. Sorry, the sleep deprivation and hormones have me flipping angry!!

    Yessss soo much this.
  • Baby has been up since 2am it is now 4:45... He's starting to fall asleep now. If my husband complains about being tired I may smash a brick in his face! Today he took a three hour nap because he's so tired... I don't know why he wakes up to feed him in the middle of the night but I always have to take over to get the baby back to sleep and then wake up for the early morning feeding and any diaper changes in the middle of the night... It's aggravating!
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"