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July 2015 Moms
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Postpartum sex - possible TMI

VTomanVToman member
in July 2015 Moms
Ok, so I am 12 weeks PP. I've been cleared for all activity since 6 weeks. So far, my DH and I have had sex three times. The first time was VERY uncomfortable, second time was better. The third time was still uncomfortable. Here's my problem - I just really don't want to have sex....period. I've done it because I don't want to neglect my DH. I love him, find him very attractive and handsome. But, I just cannot seem to get turned on. What do I do? Is this just a hormone thing?
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Re: Postpartum sex - possible TMI

  • Melis222Melis222 member
    Could be, are you using lube? It helps me when I'm not in the mood.
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  • VTomanVToman member
    Yeah I used lube each time.
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  • wheresilenceismusicwheresilenceismusic member
    I'm in the same boat. Of course our bodies don't want to have sex right now... Are you ready for another baby?

    The first time DH and I did it, I orgasmed and was so happy that I gave it a shot. The second time we had to stop because he felt way, way too big. I would try again, but who has the time?

    Use lube!
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  • VTomanVToman member
    edited October 2015
    I orgasmed the second time so that was awesome. This last time, I was so not into it, so I just couldn't. He felt bad... which made me feel bad.

    No, I definitely do not want another LO...at least, not now!

    We are using lube. It's not the dryness that'd bothering me. It's the fact that I have no desire to have sex other than I want to keep my husband satisfied. I'd be perfectly fine with just going to sleep with a good night kiss and maybe a little spooning. It was not like this before!
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  • randa923randa923 member
    It will start to get better. My OB warned me that some women take 6 months or more to really get back into sex at all. I was all gun ho in the beginning because it had been sooooo long, but now I'm just like you a good night kiss and spooning sounds pretty damn good. I usually try to do it on e a week though just for him and because I feel like it is an important thing. It's definitely feeling better, but yeah who has the time. My LO is 12 weeks and I'm still tired all of the time. I'd rather sleep.
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  • ashleytiffashleytiff member
    I'm not interested either. We've done it once since I was cleared. It was uncomfortable but too not painful. I felt a sting where my stitches were and felt like i'd split them even though they are gone. It just doesn't sound fun.
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  • AziaNickAziaNick member
    I would start with the little and simple things. Start by kissing each other more during the day or touching each other. Show affection throughout the day and soon you will fall back into the joy of having sex :) think of it like you guys are in the honeymoon phase. Do a lot of intimate things together and maybe try a new sex toy or something new from the sex book like a position. Try new things and be open minded :) and communicate. What can he do to make you feel that giddy sexy feeling again so you will feel interested in sex. It just takes time and don't worry :)
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  • jessieR358jessieR358 member
    12 weeks and still haven't...I didn't get cleared until 10 weeks though bc of my episiotomy taking forever to heal. I'm still really tender where my incision is. I don't even know where we'd find the time. LO doesn't sleep for more than an hour and I'm exhausted every night. My DH has been sleeping on the couch since LO wakes up every hour. I guess we will one day but I am perfectly fine without!
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  • mjking15mjking15 member
    I have a high sex drive. I always have. But after the baby, he's 8 weeks, I don't ever think I'm in the mood until I give in lol. Then once we are doing our thing, I think to myself, why don't we do this more! Lol every once in a while my c section area will bother me, but then we'll just switch positions.
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  • beccer123beccer123 member
    I had a high sex drive before this pregnancy but during pregnancy it was non existing. It still is 10 weeks later, it still isn't! I have no advise at this point.
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  • HandreeHandree member
    I'm right there with you, no desire at all for sex with my hubby. I did wake up dreaming about sex with an ex though which is weird.
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  • confuegosuzyconfuegosuzy member
    I couldn't wait to have sex again after my first but this time, I feel like I'll be okay if I never have sex again. Poor DH... It's been almost 5 months. We've fooled around a few times, and I didn't like it because I'm breastfeeding and it made my nipples hurt. I gave him a honey do project back in July that speaks my love language. I told him we can have sex again when he finishes the project. He must not miss it as much as he says he does...
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  • LibbyC730LibbyC730 member
    ^^ Haha!
    We haven't had sex much, but we didn't have a ton before baby, either. I'm with some of you ladies, it takes a bit of warming up before I'm feeling in the mood! I think part of it is our sleep schedules. I go to bed as soon as I can after LO falls asleep, while DH (who can't do MOTN nursing sessions) stays up later. If I can get him to come to bed with me, we typically sleep together before sleeping together! : ). If he's going to try to wake me up for it, it's not going to happen!!
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  • andreawatts1andreawatts1 member
    Wow. Maybe it's just us because my husband works out of town during the week but we get down Thursday thru saturday! This is our first LO but I know I've read if you BF you will not want to have sex at all. Hoping it gets better for yall!!
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  • astraealynnastraealynn member
    :/ I want to want to have sex so badly but I just haven't really been in the mood except for a couple days postpartum with raging hormones. my dh doesn't seem too interested either. i miss my sex drive and our intimacy!
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  • eclohoecloho member
    We Have had & enjoyed very quiet sex 5 times (11weeks PP) while LO is sleeping in the same room in the pack & play, with the sleep sheep turned all the way up LOL! ...TMI but oral was helpful to get things going... I mean receiving not giving...
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  • eclohoecloho member
    ...best thing is that I didn't have to ask…
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  • KAR8706KAR8706 member
    We both have pretty high sex drives, I have been more tired and havent been interested but once we get started, it's always worth it. 
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  • arbell615arbell615 member
    I'm really struggling to find my sex drive too. I love my husband and find him attractive, I just don't have the energy or drive to have sex. We've gotten intimate once since LO was born, she's 3 months old now. We used to have awesome sex multiple times a week! My husband is super understanding and patient, I miss being close to him in that way, but choosing between sleep and and, sleep always wins. We're going to try scheduling it this weekend (lame I know, but I'm not sure what else to do!) maybe if I commit to it beforehand I'll be less likely to shy away.
    I find that the more I have sex the more I want it.....here's hoping! (Raising an enormous glass of wine....good luck ladies)
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