Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
TerryGDesign
member
Re: Whooping Cough Shot for Entire Family?
Pertussis is the sniffles for an adult. They often don't know they are contagious. For an infant it can kill them.
I do not care about others' feelings vs. The health & safety of my kids. They can piss & moan all they like. No TDAP means they stay away.
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https://www.soundsofpertussis.com/pertussis-symptoms.html
https://www.soundsofpertussis.com/pertussis-in-infants.html
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If you get the vaccination whilst pregnant, then you will pass on the immunity to the baby. The vaccine also last for 10 years in adults, so they don't need to get it again if the have had it within that period of time. So the most important person to get the shot is you between 28 and 32 weeks.
Also the US is one of the very few countries that offers the shot to adults. The UK and Australia only offer it to the expectant mother and to children as part of their immunisation plan.
Edit* sometimes I just spell like a two year old.
I was told anyone who would be around LO a LOT should have the shot. I got mine in the third tri of course, DH had had his booster a year prior, so he didn't need another one. My mom and sister were going to be visiting for a week to help, so they got it, and my in-laws came for a week as well, so they got it. Everyone else we just made sure they washed their hands and/or applied anti-bacterial before handling the baby. Really, no one else but our immediate families were holding her for more than a few minutes when she was that small.
If your in-laws are going to be around a lot, and wanting to handle the baby a lot, I'd say "no shot, no touching the baby." You can get it done really quick at most pharmacies, it's not a major imposition requiring an actual doctor's office visit to get it done. If the problem is that your in-laws are anti-vaxxers, I would not allow them near the baby until the baby was immunized...whooping cough isn't the only thing that they could be passing on to your unvaccinated baby.
My rule is: no shot, no holding or touching baby. There are few things as horrible as sitting in a hospital room, watching your new baby struggle to breathe and cough. My (now ex) MIL stopped by to visit at home when DS1 was just a few weeks old, and she was the only visitor that week. She washed her hands, and held DS1 for less than 20 min. Nope. For HER it was a cold that showed up the next day, for my tiny baby it was a week in the hospital.
No family member's feelings are worth that. If their beliefs are against the shot, or they just don't want to, then they'll need to be happy with pictures until after baby is old enough to get the vaccine.
DS1 01/08/03 DD1 08/11/04 DD2 10/06/08 DS2 09/30/14
SURPRISE! Hannah May born 01/22/16
Also, most people get the shot as children and the effects for the pertussis part wear off by the time you are an adult. Adult boosters generally do not include the pertussis part, only the diptheria and tetanus.
My rule also was no shot, no seeing the baby. Washing hands isn't going to prevent someone from passing it along.
Jamie
Jamie
I told my husband today...if they don't get the shot (and prove it) they can't see or hold the baby.
Jamie
You do have to make sure the booster is the full TDAP to guarantee that whooping cough is included. If you specifically tell the pharmacy you need a whooping cough vaccine they should get that for you.
My SIL is another story...she is anti-vaccine and we just aren't going there. She just had a baby in March so she may have had it while pregnant. But she had been combative in the past over us getting vaccines and I'm sure it would be even worse to ask her to get one. She lives 2.5 hours away and we only see her about once a month.
The only person who did not get one was my grandpa because he forgot but he absolutely did not hold my son that first visit (by his choice) he forgot to get his and didn't want to expose my son. He felt terrible and they stayed 5 days. No problems this time because they are already covered (except grandpa who will get his this time if they come out before the first vax).
No shot, no baby. And I'm prepared to push the issue to a few family members as my baby is not worth their feelings.
I was told that even though you don't need a booster until 10 years they recommend anyone who hasn't had one in the past 5 years to get it if you're going to be around an infant.
People who HAVEN'T been vaccinated can also be asymptomatic carriers and cause just as much, if not more, damage, like my exMIL in my above post.
ETA: I just realized replying to you is mostly a waste of time. You seem to only be here to make anti-vaccine comments.
DS1 01/08/03 DD1 08/11/04 DD2 10/06/08 DS2 09/30/14
SURPRISE! Hannah May born 01/22/16