Family history of late miscarriage, worried relatives

evalina88 · October 2015

Hello everyone,

Sorry to bring this up, I know it’s not a very positive story, but I’m worried and could really use some advice on how to deal with this.

My mom and her sister both had a late miscarriage at 22/23 weeks with their first pregnancies. They both underwent all kinds of tests and didnt find any clotting disorder or cervical problem (but this was the late 80s). Drs at the time did believe the demise was due to an insufficient placenta and problems with blood flow, but they thought it was one time bad luck.

They went on to have normal pregnancies, but I know that at least my mom took asprin as a preventative with me. Now, they don’t say it out loud, but I know they are worried. They don’t think what happened was bad luck and they seem concerned that it is something hereditary.. Yesterday my mom even called me and suggested I’d go in for a Doppler ultrasound to check bloodflow and the placenta.

They mean well, and I understand how this brings back a lot of trauma for them, but I’m really freaking out.. I’m 18 weeks and feel like I should start enjoying my pregnancy, but instead I’m worried more than ever about having some kind of blood clotting disorder or a problem with my placenta. I also haven't felt any movement yet, which could be due to my anterior placenta.

Any other ladies who have to deal with their mothers/aunts fears or such a family history? And any advice on how to deal with fear and anxiety… I know its not good for baby and I’m trying really hard to stay positive of course!

Thank you!

soxfan9968 · October 2015

I know you're worried but posting the same question across different boards isn't going to get you a quicker response. Please try to relax and give the ladies some time to respond.

Eta: I can tell that you're very stressed (hugs and positive thoughts your way) but just wanted to give you a heads up that a lot of the ladies will check multiple boards. You will get responses.

cmerribury · October 2015

Have you spoken to your doctor about their history? I will say that it's entirely possible that this could have happened to your mother and aunt and will not happen to you, so my advice would be to try not to worry and to ask them to refrain from mentioning it. Excess worry from outside parties isn't going to do anything to ease your mind. However, on the flip side of that, letting your doctor know (if you haven't already) could end up being a good thing. Things are considerably more advanced now than they were in the 80s and if your doctor is concerned about the family history he/she can perform some checks to ensure all is going smoothly. Good luck.

evalina88 · October 2015

Sorry for the cross post.. I was freaking out this morning and shouldn't have done that!

Thanks for your reply @ cmerriburu. I have told my dr but she was not concerned at all and told me that these things aren't hereditary.. Unless they would have diagnosed us with a hereditary clotting disorder like factor v Leiden or aps. She claims that someone in our family would have been symptomatic by now and that it couldn't have gone undiagnosed for that long. I'm not sure though, in 1987 they definitely did not know what they know now (and there are still so many unknowns!) and I read that some of these can go without symptoms.

But I have to remind myself that I'm not a dr! And I haven't experienced any loss and I should be happy to be pregnant and healthy for now! I have a thyroid disease and lost an ovary due to a giant cyst and I guess I have some issues with trusting my body.. Might be time to deal with these issues and talk to a therapist instead of cross posting on the bump

cmerribury · October 2015

I would go with your doctor on this. I was tested for Factor V Leiden, but that's because I had symptoms and other blood tests (run because of symptoms) that pointed to a concern. I think she's right not to be concerned. I have major trust issues with my body too. I have endometriosis and have several large, debilitating ovarian cysts a year (several of which have hospitalized me), and had two previous losses. But have faith in your body, it seems to be doing exactly what it's supposed to be.

oceanchild · October 2015

@{{hugs}} @evalina88 and @cmerribury! it is hard to trust our bodies sometimes!

thiblm · October 2015

I had a loss at 22 weeks with no reason to why. Test were done on my son and I with no answers. Then went on to have a healthy son and now pregnant again. I'm monitor, extra test, and I choose to take a baby aspirin.

If your not feel confident with your doctor or not feeling hard change doctors. Late loss is hard to find the why everytime even in 2015. The main thing is monitoring.

The thing about is you never forget a loss and scared during all the following pregnancies until you are holding a healthy crying baby. I would guess that's why your mom and aunt are worried. They don't want it for you and the feeling of their loss is back in their mind.

evalina88 · October 2015

So Sorry for your loss thiblm .. It's good that youre being monitored closely but I can imagine it will always be scary. Glad you have a healthy son and I'm sure you will hold your new baby soon as well!

alanna3622 · October 2015

This would be extremely unsettling to most women. Late loss is awful. Hugs to you.

Laurenc523 · October 2015

I'm sorry you have this stress and worry. I'm positive your mother and aunt are looking out for you and don't want you to have to go through the same experience. Miscarriages are scary no matter when they happen and I'm sure they are slightly reliving their emotions during your pregnancy. If you've already brought this concern up to your doctor, let your mom and aunt know that your doctor is aware of this and currently has no worries/are doing extra monitoring, to ease their mind. You'r past the first trimester which is when most women find comfort in knowing they are over the "danger zone", and I'm sure you feel a little stifled in your excitement. I wish the best for you!

Also, I wouldn't apologize for cross posting.

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