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Boyfriend question

ahill1889ahill1889 member
in Blended Families
I love my boyfriend, and my boyfriend loves me. Unfortunately, he is completely indifferent to the kids. We have been going out for a little over 5 months. He has spent more time with the kids over the last month give or take, but before that was an hour or two once or twice every few weeks at most. Is the indifference at this stage something to worry about? He has told me several times that he has an abnormal level of indifference in many areas; and since I know a lot of people with mental/emotional issues I've been trying to let things progress slowly and smoothly. Some of my friends don't think he's moving fast enough emotion-wise, so they are flipping out and are telling me to leave him.

I'm not sure what to do. When he's around the kids, he engages them and makes an effort to play with them and talk to them. He just doesn't feel anything towards them. Is this something I should worry about; or something I should just give time to see where things go?

This probably seems like a stupid question, I know, but this is the first relationship I've had since I left my ex-husband 4 years ago.
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Re: Boyfriend question

  • 3JTMom3JTMom member
    These things take time. This is brand new to him and if he knows his own issues and has shared them with you than it sounds like he may need more time. An instant family is a challenge for someone who has never had one. If he is good around the kids and engages them do you think it is a good sign that he is not resentful of their presence and accepts them? Love will eventually come. Here is an article that might really help you think through this.
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  • ahill1889ahill1889 member
    Thank you! I actually talked to him over the weekend, and he told me he likes the kids, he just doesn't care whether we do things with or wothout them. He's perfectly happy with it just being the two of us doing things. But, he does like the kids and does enjoy spending time with them most of the time.
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  • 3JTMom3JTMom member
    I am glad you had a talk. That is very healthy. He sounds like a great guy who is easy going and doesn't add stress to your life. Hugs mama, you got a keeper!
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