Doing a big announcement when I know it'll make one person sad

tweedledah · October 2015

I'm Heather. My first baby is due around May 26.
My first trimester will end right around Thanksgiving and I would love to do a Family wide announcement at our Thanksgiving celebration. That is what my cousin did 4 years ago with his baby due the same time, and I really want to enjoy me and DH's moment.
The problem is that I have another cousin who is similar age to me. Of all the cousins on that side she is the last single one. I know it makes her sad to be left out. I don't want to put a huge damper on her holidays but I do want to enjoy my happy news with my family who will all be excited for us.
What do I do?

aamm04 · October 2015

Announce your pregnancy to your family.

mrstmoose · October 2015

Ditto. She will (should) be happy about your news.

lalala2004 · October 2015

You think this will make her sad just because she's single? Maybe it will and maybe it won't, but you have to announce to your family.

wellinaustin · October 2015

Announce it! You cant worry about all the single people in the world. :-/ If she were to be sad and not happy for you that would be pretty unfair of her! She will find someone when the time is right.

Spylon · October 2015

Agree with pps, definitely announce. It's not really a good reason for her to not be happy for you.

tweedledah · October 2015

Thanks for the positivity. She is just so down recently on all of her similarly aged cousins and her friends starting the next chapters while she struggles to find someone. She's 29 years old and I think the idea that she will turn 30 before she finds someone is upsetting. I'm 8 months younger and have been married 2 years and am expecting a baby. I expect that if our positions were reversed I'd be sad.

wellinaustin · October 2015

I think it's okay for her to be sad a little bit, but ultimately she's not old and has plenty of time to find someone and you deserve to be happy and share your excitement with your family.

Malakia024 · October 2015

If she was having trouble ttc or had experienced a miscarriage that would be a different matter worth addressing with her first. I would announce it to the family in this case though.

jaclynmoreno14 · October 2015

I was the last single person on both sides of my family. No one with held their personal joys because of me. I wasn't sad or felt left out. I was happy for each happy announcement and knew my time would come. Share away

seasalt123 · October 2015

Aw, she's very young still and shouldn't be so worried. At the end of the day, you're making a new wee relative for her. It might hurt a tinge (I assume that since you said she's bummed...personally I would NOT have been bummed at 29 when I was single and child free as I was perfectly happy and knew I had lots of time left) but ultimately your news is more important. I'd be more concerned about a public announcement if she was someone who was struggling with infertility or losses. You're a good cousin to consider her feelings.

zekesmommy611 · October 2015

I think it's great how mindful you're being about your cousins feelings. When I was pregnant with DS it was the first baby to be born to either side in many,many years. My DHs cousin can't have children so while eveyone was celebrating the news, it was apparent that she was upset..during the entire pregnancy and a few months after his birth. I felt awful for her but there was honestly nothing I could do. I think being sensitive to her situation is a great start!

EvieMonster · October 2015

I was this cousin. Not single, but having a lot of trouble conceiving. Tell her first in private so she can get her emotions out of the way. "Reason" doesn't come into it. She will be very happy for you, but she's human and your news will remind her of what she doesn't have. If you don't want a scene and want to be kind, tell her privately first.