Cold Feet

strickland8052 · September 2015

We are exactly three weeks away from TTC, and I'm starting to get cold feet.

I've been wanting a baby so badly ever since we got married two and half years ago. but DH wasn't ready. We settled on October 2015 and here it is, and now I'm the one that is nervous. Most of my nervousness is coming from the fact that I just started a new job six months ago. I fear that I haven't been on the job long enough, and people might judge (although my coworkers are awesome and I really doubt they would).

I also fear that I will have morning sickness and will be stressed about missing work. I have absolutely no sick time until after January, so that could be an issue. (Although again.. my boss is awesome, so I think she would understand, and we have the money saved if I need to take unpaid leave).

Also, if we were to get pg during our first month, I would be 6 weeks pregnant during our biggest event of the year, which is on the other side of the country. I'm worried about potentially traveling/trying to make a good impression at my first big task while battling morning sickness.

I've talked about all of these fears with DH, and he thinks I'm overreacting. My work environment is extremely family friendly, so I honestly don't think anyone will care. However, at the same time, my career is really important to me and I want to make sure my reputation is well established. Then again, I've been waiting so long already that the thought of waiting another couple of months makes me sad. DH and I have really been looking forward to starting TTC during our big trip coming up, and I don't want to disappoint either of us.

What do you guys think?

Xstatic3333 · September 2015

Since all of your concerns seem job related, I'd go for it. It's great that your new workplace is family friendly! You never know what can happen, though. You might get pregnant quickly but not have morning sickness. Or it could take longer and you'll wish you'd gotten started. It sounds like the practical considerations are all in place.

That said, no real harm in waiting another month if it puts your mind at ease.

gabpepsi · September 2015

Would it be helpful to think of it as NTNP to relieve some anxiety? Agree with PP that if you just want to roll the dice then you may need to address some of your concerns in your new workplace, but you may not if it takes longer. Either way - treat yo'self in a way that helps you relieve stress! Maybe take a deep breath and enjoy the excitement of the new phase -- especially since your workplace sounds so great.

Plus, I've read that stress can lead to morning sickness (not sure if this is completely true, but I think I read it in "What To Expect") so try not to worry yourself sick.

GL!

MrsRo731 · September 2015

You are putting so much pressure on yourself

. I think you're overthinking it. TTC is a huge deal but there will never be a perfect time. I agree with PP - treat yo self! Try not to worry about what others may think, although I doubt anyone would be upset at you for getting pregnant 6 months into a job. Also, there will always be things that come up at work that won't be super convenient being pregnant, but you'll just roll with it

. Who knows, maybe you'll have a very easy pregnancy. I had morning sickness with my daughter but I never missed a day of work! Hang in there and if you feel overwhelmed, hold off. GL!

Lysta85 · September 2015

I'm not looking forward to the morning sickness as well. Between 13 and 28 years old there where periods in which I really got sick and vomiting without knowing why. It was effecting my life (when I felt nauseous I would be afraid that I had to throw up in the train or bus and because I was worried about that it got worse). It took years for my doctor to take me serious and the finally found out I had a mild lactose intolerance. I'm not looking forward feeling like that again.

I did some reading about the topic. They say taking (prenatal) vitamins some time before conceiving could help, so does eating smaller portions during the entire day and when waking up eat something before going out of bed.

I also had a colleague who got really sick during the start of the pregnancy. Her sister and mother experienced the same and where extremely nauseous and vomiting for 9 months. The doctor told my colleague to wake up at 4 o'clock, eat a biscuit and go back to bed until it really was time to wake up. She was still a bit nauseous, but she was able to go to work again.

RachelT1234 · September 2015

Everyone covered everything, so I only one more suggestion - check your leave policy. For example, I only receive fmla and only those that have worked at the company for a minimum of one year is entitled to the leave.

mommytimesfour · September 2015

Honestly, I think the majority of women will end up getting cold feet or at least worry about the "what if's" at some point whether it's before TTC or during pregnancy. It's a huge step and being nervous is totally normal. There's never a perfect time to get pregnant, so if you've weighed the pros and cons and timing feels right enough, I say go for it. There will always be something that could be considered a road block or a reason to put it off, plus it can take healthy couples up to a year to conceive. Good luck

Pupatella · September 2015

Another vote for go for it!!

You never know what will happen, or how long it will take to get KU. It doesn't hurt to start trying now. It sounds like you have a lot in place (enough savings to take unpaid leave if necessary), and a really understanding workplace.

mrsp2213 · September 2015

I would go for it but you have to do what's best for you. If it's really going to put your mind at ease push it back another 6 weeks, I don't think that's a big delay whatsoever. I had work concerns as well as I'm about to take on more responsibility at work but after talking with the Mr. about it, we came to the conclusion that we will always be able to find an excuse to keep pushing this back and after years of talking about it, it was time to just jump in and start trying. I've had a lot going through my mind this first cycle TTC, including doubts about whether we should've waited, but overall we're really glad we've finally started and both of us are very much hoping to see a BFP by the end of the month. It's nerve wracking but not nearly as much as I thought it'd be at this point. Best of luck with whatever you decide!

misshopeful1 · September 2015

I say go for it. Many of us bump members have been trying for years. It may be fast for you or not. Time is a big stressor.
Try and relax and see what happens.

llc418 · October 2015

I'm starting TTC this month too and I'm super excited! There will always be reasons to hold off so do what makes you most happy!

myjessesgirl · October 2015

Like someone already mentioned above, I think all the things I would have said were already said! With my first pregnancy, I was able to work every day with morning sickness and so were most of those on my BMB. And many people don't get sick, or its mild. So many unknowns and what if's! There are lots of things that are out of your control and the only thing you can do is take control of the things you can. As for everything else, you will just need to trust that it will be ok!

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