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December 2015 Moms
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My husband seems clueless...

ATolentino89ATolentino89 member
in December 2015 Moms
He doesn't seem to understand that hormones are running my life. On top of regular baby-is-coming-soon stress, my parents dog was diagnosed with cancer and only has a week or two max so I have been on the verge of tears for days. Last night he said "Maybe while your on maternity leave we can go drive up and see our friends" the friends he wants to see live about 5 hours away on a military installation. And they don't/haven't had kids. So let's subject them to a new born who will be up every two or so hours throught the night and not to mention I will be sleep deprived and grumpy. Let's not be in the comfort of our own home and hope we packed everything we need and he will want to bring the two dogs with us on top of their two. All to go see a friend who will want to go fishing/hunting/ generally go do things. Umm..... Really?!?!?
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Re: My husband seems clueless...

  • browneyes_326browneyes_326 member
    Agree w PP! Good lord, he will realize the insanity of that suggestion about a week after baby arrives! Going to the grocery store is the longest trip you'll want to make for awhile.
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  • ketobabyketobaby member

    As PP mentioned maternity leave is not a vacation. Its for mom's recovery and for taking care of/bonding with newborn. Being 5 hours away from all of my baby gear and PRIVACY would really stress me out (especially if you plan to breastfeed). If anything I would up an open invitation for your friends to come visit you now or an appropriate time after baby has been born (since they have no children).

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    You know... this might be a bit far-fetched but if it's just a day trip, let him try his little experiment while you stay home and rest.

    nothing like putting a hand in the fire to know what 'hot' truly is.
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    By the way, I totally went off on a tangent. I'm so sorry about your family's dog. I lost a beloved pet to cancer in 2012 and one to liver disease in 2011 and I absolutely know how devastating it is. The wait before the end is the worst part, you know.. the vigil. I kept vigil with Rico for a week before her last appointment. It was probably the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me, even more so than the death of older people in my life because she depended on me and her fate was completely in my hands.. So the guilt was crushing. And I'm so sorry you're dealing with it.
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  • ATolentino89ATolentino89 member
    Most of the suggestion stemms from him thinking we're "bad friends" because we don't have a lot of spare time. He goes to school full time and works outside doing maintenance on a 7 acre lot along with various errand running. He thinks our friends are mad at us because we have other things to take care of instead of driving everywhere to hang out. I think they will be more upset if we bombard them with a newborn. I like the idea of them coming here because if my house gets to be too much my parents have a garage apartment that is open to them. I live by the water so they like that it's a get away from central Texas.
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  • OmniblacklightOmniblacklight member
    It'd definitely be a better idea to invite them, that sounds like a wonderful treat. Plus with no baby to deal with they don't have to worry if they brought enough diapers, clothes, ect.. You will be recovering, you may pee (or bleed) on the bed, you may need to go to the doctor for something, the baby might need to go to the doctor...That little maternity leave will help you and baby recover. Plus driving while sleep deprived may not be a good idea, I don't think he realizes just how tired he's going to be as well yet.
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  • ATolentino89ATolentino89 member
    This is all coming from him btw. All our friends seem to understand. He has just decided on his own that we are bad friends. And no. I dont get guilt tripped by him. If he wants to go, he can go but I'm not even thinking twice about that whole adventure. Like I said in my original post: he seems to be clueless about what's really happening.
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  • kdoak2015kdoak2015 member
    Lol sorry I'm with your husband I don't want to sit around at home all day, we are planning a trip out east while I'm at mat leave and doing tones of stuff.
    I also get 12 months off. If i only have a few months etc I likely wouldn't want to go anywhere
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    ATolentino89 said:
    This is all coming from him btw. All our friends seem to understand. He has just decided on his own that we are bad friends. And no. I dont get guilt tripped by him. If he wants to go, he can go but I'm not even thinking twice about that whole adventure. Like I said in my original post: he seems to be clueless about what's really happening.


    Lol he sounds like he wants to hang out and doesn't want to leave you behind. Maybe tell him you are okay with him seeing some friends without you once and a while. 
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