I feel horrible still. My body is achey. It hurts. I'm stopping my prozac since I get nausea, headaches and diarrhea. I've only taken it for 5 days. I'm waiting for a call back to see which med she will switch me too.
Huge hugs ladies. Hope your dr can find the right medicine.
TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!! Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui) #1 born December 2011
TTC#2 - Beta #1 -51@10dpo Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo #2 born May 2013
TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
#3 born August 2015 #4!!!!!!! due June 2017
I don't know if it's PPD or just normal feelings at this point, LO is a month old and when he cries (which he has been doing a lot the past few days) I feel almost angry when I know his diaper is dry, he just ate, I can't figure out what's wrong with him and it makes me feel like a shitty mom. I can't even figure out why he's crying or what to do to help him. Plus I feel like I'm not producing enough milk, so I haven't been pumping and I go back to work on the 5th. I feel like he won't have enough to eat while I'm at work.....just horrible. I knew it would be tough, with little sleep and he'd be fussy and crying cause that's all he can do to "talk" but I did not think it would be this hard. Aren't mothering instincts supposed to be around and I should know why he's crying or be able to figure out how to soothe him??
I don't know if it's PPD or just normal feelings at this point, LO is a month old and when he cries (which he has been doing a lot the past few days) I feel almost angry when I know his diaper is dry, he just ate, I can't figure out what's wrong with him and it makes me feel like a shitty mom. I can't even figure out why he's crying or what to do to help him. Plus I feel like I'm not producing enough milk, so I haven't been pumping and I go back to work on the 5th. I feel like he won't have enough to eat while I'm at work.....just horrible. I knew it would be tough, with little sleep and he'd be fussy and crying cause that's all he can do to "talk" but I did not think it would be this hard. Aren't mothering instincts supposed to be around and I should know why he's crying or be able to figure out how to soothe him??
I go through this too. I even go through it with DD who is 1 1/2. Lately it's been extra hard because she is going into the terrible twos and has developed this attitude that just grates on my last nerve, then DS will start crying. I know he's dry and fed and it gets so overwhelming. During the day, DD goes to daycare and DS will cry and be inconsolable and it is awful. I've been feeling like a total shit mom lately but I know that it will be over soon. Some days I feel like I cry nearly as often as DS does.
It will get better and then we will miss the days when our LOs couldn't say NO to everything you say (DDs new favorite past time).
Big hugs to you all, I know how you feel - still managing to avoid PPD this time around but keeping tabs on things. Some days are harder than others.
I've said it before on other threads but I'll say it again - I really found things got easier with each milestone - 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, as I got a bit more sleep and baby was a bit more predictable. I promise you it gets easier over time but sometimes the improvement is so gradual it's hard to notice until you look back a few weeks. Try not to futurise and just focus on what you need to do minute by minute. I have a shitty crying baby today and didn't get much sleep so I know how hard that can be... But he is still better than my DD ever was.
If you can manage to read books just now, a couple of books I found helpful were 'Buddhism for mothers' (not religious) and 'momma zen: walking the crooked path of motherhood' - sorry I dont have the authors to hand. Also this random book I found 'what mothers do: especially when it looks like nothing' - all these books give great perspective that you are not alone in your feelings and show you that you are NOT a bad mother.
Thank you for posting this. It helped me realize I had PPD. It helped me make the call to the doctor. I've been feeling so horrible for weeks. I had no idea. Now on day 3 of meds and adjusting. I will do my best until I feel better. It is also good to know that I am not the only one.
Glad you went to the website. Thank you all for the well wishes.
I've tried two different meds and had horrible side affects with both so I stopped them. Right now dh took 6 weeks off work to do night feeding. One of the side effects of the last med was insomnia. I haven't slept not even a wink. I'm just waiting for it to get rid of my system until I can sleep again. Tired of taking meds.
My LO is staying with his grandparents for two weeks. I am back at work, so that helps. I feel slightly guilty that I don't have my child at home with me, but I know to take the help when it is available. He comes home on Friday when I get back from an overnight work trip. I think meds are helping. It would be great if I could make myself catch up on housework while there is no baby here. :-<
Hi all! I haven't posted much here but have been lurking since June. I had my LO mid August and the first two weeks were pure hell with slow recovery and failure to BF. I had terrible anxiety and just couldn't shake the feeling that this was all a huge mistake. I then started feeling better and thought that had just been hormones playing havoc. LO is now six weeks old and my husband went back to work on Monday. He has been very supportive but can't do any night feedings due to an illness that makes him need to sleep full nights. So on Monday my anxiety returned. I have been a crying mess for three days. Coincidentally LO has been showing symptoms of acid reflux for the past week, crying and making me fervently wish for an "undo" button that would take me back a year. I'm seeing someone on Friday to talk about this, but I'm not sure if I should also go see a doctor and ask for meds. I've never felt like this before in my life and it's really scary.
Hi all! I haven't posted much here but have been lurking since June. I had my LO mid August and the first two weeks were pure hell with slow recovery and failure to BF. I had terrible anxiety and just couldn't shake the feeling that this was all a huge mistake. I then started feeling better and thought that had just been hormones playing havoc. LO is now six weeks old and my husband went back to work on Monday. He has been very supportive but can't do any night feedings due to an illness that makes him need to sleep full nights. So on Monday my anxiety returned. I have been a crying mess for three days. Coincidentally LO has been showing symptoms of acid reflux for the past week, crying and making me fervently wish for an "undo" button that would take me back a year. I'm seeing someone on Friday to talk about this, but I'm not sure if I should also go see a doctor and ask for meds. I've never felt like this before in my life and it's really scary.
Hi all! I haven't posted much here but have been lurking since June. I had my LO mid August and the first two weeks were pure hell with slow recovery and failure to BF. I had terrible anxiety and just couldn't shake the feeling that this was all a huge mistake. I then started feeling better and thought that had just been hormones playing havoc. LO is now six weeks old and my husband went back to work on Monday. He has been very supportive but can't do any night feedings due to an illness that makes him need to sleep full nights. So on Monday my anxiety returned. I have been a crying mess for three days. Coincidentally LO has been showing symptoms of acid reflux for the past week, crying and making me fervently wish for an "undo" button that would take me back a year. I'm seeing someone on Friday to talk about this, but I'm not sure if I should also go see a doctor and ask for meds. I've never felt like this before in my life and it's really scary.
I promise it will get better. I wished I had that undo button with my first baby. Are you seeing a counsellor on Friday? See what they say, they should be able to assess whether you should see a doctor as well, but it can't hurt to talk to your dr too. I haven't got time to type a full response now but pls PM me here or on FB if you need an ear.
Hi all! I haven't posted much here but have been lurking since June. I had my LO mid August and the first two weeks were pure hell with slow recovery and failure to BF. I had terrible anxiety and just couldn't shake the feeling that this was all a huge mistake. I then started feeling better and thought that had just been hormones playing havoc. LO is now six weeks old and my husband went back to work on Monday. He has been very supportive but can't do any night feedings due to an illness that makes him need to sleep full nights. So on Monday my anxiety returned. I have been a crying mess for three days. Coincidentally LO has been showing symptoms of acid reflux for the past week, crying and making me fervently wish for an "undo" button that would take me back a year. I'm seeing someone on Friday to talk about this, but I'm not sure if I should also go see a doctor and ask for meds. I've never felt like this before in my life and it's really scary.
Its a different feeling for sure. Deffinetly talk to somebody and see if you need meds or if its just the stress and frustration and lack of sleep getting to you. I stopped taking meds because all would give me horrible side effects. Since my dh takes on nights (he gets off from work at 12am so he's a night owl) I've been sleeping and I finally feel better. See if maybe family or a trusted friend can take care of your lo for one night at least. Ppd is horrible its makes things so much harder.
Thank you guys so much. I'm seeing a counsellor on Friday and also managed to get an appointment with a doctor on Friday, though since they squeezed me in, it's with someone I haven't seen before. My husband also decided we needed to try something more radical with regards to sleep. So he went to bed at 7pm last night so as to get up at 3-4am to take over the baby from then on. So I got 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep and he got to experience how hard those hours are (LO doesn't really sleep soundly then). I am trying to take it day by day. You all take care too!
Re: Ladies with PPD
TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!! Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui)
#1 born December 2011
TTC#2 - Beta #1 -51@10dpo Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo
#2 born May 2013
TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
#3 born August 2015
#4!!!!!!! due June 2017
https://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english
It will get better and then we will miss the days when our LOs couldn't say NO to everything you say (DDs new favorite past time).
I've said it before on other threads but I'll say it again - I really found things got easier with each milestone - 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, as I got a bit more sleep and baby was a bit more predictable. I promise you it gets easier over time but sometimes the improvement is so gradual it's hard to notice until you look back a few weeks. Try not to futurise and just focus on what you need to do minute by minute. I have a shitty crying baby today and didn't get much sleep so I know how hard that can be... But he is still better than my DD ever was.
If you can manage to read books just now, a couple of books I found helpful were 'Buddhism for mothers' (not religious) and 'momma zen: walking the crooked path of motherhood' - sorry I dont have the authors to hand. Also this random book I found 'what mothers do: especially when it looks like nothing' - all these books give great perspective that you are not alone in your feelings and show you that you are NOT a bad mother.
Hang in there ladies. Let it all out on the bump!
I've tried two different meds and had horrible side affects with both so I stopped them. Right now dh took 6 weeks off work to do night feeding. One of the side effects of the last med was insomnia. I haven't slept not even a wink. I'm just waiting for it to get rid of my system until I can sleep again. Tired of taking meds.