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June 2016 Moms
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Midwife found?

sthomas1222sthomas1222 member
in June 2016 Moms
I may have found a midwife. My husband feels good about her but I have major trust issues after the last one ended up BSC & dropped us at 32 weeks. I know in my head she's probably a great fit for us but my heart is still hurting from last time.

The other homebirth CNM hasn't even bothered to call me back so she's out on principal. The one I interviewed is not only a CNM but has her PhD. She's been practicing for nearly 20 years if not more.

I have plenty of time to decide & process things. My first appt with this midwife wouldn't be until Dec 1st. She did point me to a free clinic that provides dating/confirmation u/s should I want one at about 8 weeks.

For now I'll just tuck my head back into the sand & play my denial card for as long as possible.

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Re: Midwife found?

  • soralettesoralette member
    BSC?

    I'm sorry you had such a poor experience last time. :( It at least sounds like the one you've interviewed and liked is well-established in the profession; do you know if you can ask her for personal references? It might be comforting to talk to some of the other women/couples she's worked with. <3
    ---
    ♥ Married since June 2009 ♥
    TW: Living children & Losses:
    Mom of sons "Alpha" (Feb 2012) & "Beta" (May 2016)
    Pregnant after 4 losses via IVF/FET with daughter "Gamma" (EDD Oct 2, 2019)
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  • adiaz132003adiaz132003 member
    Interview interview interview. Do it as many times as you need to. I think a midwife should be willing to work with you every step of the way personally and not say, "I'll help you when you get to this point but here's another place you can go in the meantime". My place has a team of midwives that are always around at my birth enter since you never know when those kids will show up, so they make sure you meet and get to know everyone from the get go. Even though my first appt isn't until 8 weeks they'd let me come visit and take tours of the center so I feel more at home if I needed and they are available for questions anytime I have them. Even the dumb questions. lol
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  • jerseybroadwaybabyjerseybroadwaybaby member
    I think this is a good start! With it not being your first she may assume you are more relaxed about stuff. You could always call and explain what happened last time and that you are wary because of it. Just ask to come in and see the office...no harm in that! Be honest about your past experience a good doctor (in any level of experience) should be sensitive to your worry, and think it good practice to help ease your mind!
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  • cattuccinocattuccino member
    soralette said:
    BSC?

    bat shit crazy. 
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  • cattuccinocattuccino member
    @sthomas1222 I'm sorry about your experience last time, I can't imagine what that put you through or what it was like. 

    You luckily have time to process for now. She sounds great, and her credentials and experience make me think positively for you. 

    Trust your gut :) Best of luck!
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  • soralettesoralette member
    cattuccino said:
    soralette said:
    BSC?

    bat shit crazy. 
    Ha! I never realized there would be an acronym for that. Thanks!
    ---
    ♥ Married since June 2009 ♥
    TW: Living children & Losses:
    Mom of sons "Alpha" (Feb 2012) & "Beta" (May 2016)
    Pregnant after 4 losses via IVF/FET with daughter "Gamma" (EDD Oct 2, 2019)
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Report Reply
  • sthomas1222sthomas1222 member
    I think I was unclear. I went to her office and we talked for 2 hours. That's what I meant by an interview. My first appt with her isn't until Dec 1st but we have text a lot today already after letting her know we'd be using her. There's really not much to see at her office. Just a bathroom and exam room since I'll be birthing at home (hopefully). And there's no other staff to meet. The offer to go to the free clinic is her way of saying it's up to me if I want a dating ultrasound and a free option to do it as otherwise with her I would pay out of pocket then have to be reimbursed. Things are very different with a homebirth midwife than a birth center and hospital.

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