I just got shamed for having a bump and participating in Pink Out.

stephanienjer · September 2015

Yeah, so this.

I participated in a Pink Out for Planned Parenthood event, and a stranger came and shamed me for doing so while pregnant.

Um...apparently I can't support PP while pregnant?
Is it considered a conflict of interest?

Until my "grown-up job" came along 4 years ago, they were the only option for any reproductive care. The care they provided then gave me a good foundation for carrying my baby now.

I don't even know where I'm going with this. I guess I'm a little dumbfounded.

(Side note: Just because I support PP does not mean that I support abortion.)

maureenmce · September 2015

That is super weird. I'm a staunch supporter of Planned Parenthood and I have no idea why that would change while pregnant. Especially because they provide prenatal services for free or low cost to fellow pregnant ladies who can't afford it, which is awesome. Who were you shamed by? A PP supporter? Or a non supporter?

nlwz123 · September 2015

Oy. People are annoying. I think there is this misconception out there that Planned Parenthood ONLY exists to perform abortions.

I am not necessarily pro-abortion, but I'm also not pro-taking away medical care to those that need it.

stephanienjer · September 2015

Non-supporting passerby. I just thought it was weird that out of 20+, she singled me out. Like came across the street just to do so.

When I tried to explain to her that I spent a decade of my life using PP for all yearly visits/paps, etc., she said, "Well, now you have more to think about than just yourself." When I told her that I used PP for a wellness visit and counseling in college after being sexually assaulted, she told me that wasn't a good enough reason, and that I should go somewhere else for that!

I support PP just as much for my daughter as I do for myself. I want her to know she has a safe place to go as she grows up, if she feels like she can't ask me.

maureenmce · September 2015

Yikes, well that is super weird but don't let it get you down!

Also, in case you PP supporters didn't know, Planned Parenthood is matching all donations today in honor of Pink Out!

mg137 · September 2015

Everyone seems to need something to be outraged about these days. You were nice enough to be that something for a stranger. It's nearly impossible to do anything meaningful without offending or outraging someone so I'm glad you don't seem particularly bothered by it.

jrouge12 · September 2015

Makes no sense. But shows how little people really know about planned parenthood. Like OP they were my only source for healthcare and affordable birth control when I was only part time (at two jobs) and had no insurance. I was able to make sure I was healthy and in the right place /time before I decided to TTC.

Maybe a little off topic but it also peeves me when people against Planned Parenthood assume all the women getting abortion services just don't want their baby or don't want to be mothers. Women going through the toughest times get harrassed by protesters who don't know the whole story. Ok...I'll step off my soap box.

nlwz123 · September 2015

stephanienjer said:

Non-supporting passerby. I just thought it was weird that out of 20+, she singled me out. Like came across the street just to do so.
When I tried to explain to her that I spent a decade of my life using PP for all yearly visits/paps, etc., she said, "Well, now you have more to think about than just yourself." When I told her that I used PP for a wellness visit and counseling in college after being sexually assaulted, she told me that wasn't a good enough reason, and that I should go somewhere else for that!
I support PP just as much for my daughter as I do for myself. I want her to know she has a safe place to go as she grows up, if she feels like she can't ask me.

Man, what a nosy B. Would she like to pay for everyone who needs medical attention to go elsewhere? If not, she should probably just keep her condescending mouth shut and mind her own business.

ChrissyD1203 · September 2015

Just to offer a differing viewpoint, in my opinion, because I believe abortion is murder, I don't think the fact that they provide so many other services (which I agree are much needed and wonderful) is enough for me to overlook what else they are doing and support them. That said, I agree that it is ridiculous that you would be singled out for participating just because you are pregnant.

enkb · September 2015

Sorry you had to deal with this, and thank you for supporting such a worthy cause. I am a staunch supporter of PP and also used them as my only option for reproductive health for much of my twenties. I am having a healthy pregnancy in a committed relationship now primarily because of their support, in my opinion you can't get much more pro-family an organization than that!

claireloSC · September 2015

ChrissyD1203 said:

Just to offer a differing viewpoint, in my opinion, because I believe abortion is murder, I don't think the fact that they provide so many other services (which I agree are much needed and wonderful) is enough for me to overlook what else they are doing and support them. That said, I agree that it is ridiculous that you would be singled out for participating just because you are pregnant.

QFP

ntyravgsp · September 2015

ChrissyD1203 said:
Just to offer a differing viewpoint, in my opinion, because I believe abortion is murder, I don't think the fact that they provide so many other services (which I agree are much needed and wonderful) is enough for me to overlook what else they are doing and support them. That said, I agree that it is ridiculous that you would be singled out for participating just because you are pregnant.

We didn't really need to turn this thread into a pro-choice vs pro-life debate. That wasn't OP's intent, nor anyone else's.

OP, I am sorry you had to deal with that person too. Eta posted before I was finished typing.

stephanienjer · September 2015

@ntyravgsp I don't take offense to PP. Even though she may not agree with me, she was supportive in her own way.
It's a very personal and serious choice to make. Some people see it as black and white, and others see gray. That's all.

Thanks for being supportive, too!

keshakdavis · September 2015

stephanienjer said:

Yeah, so this.
I participated in a Pink Out for Planned Parenthood event, and a stranger came and shamed me for doing so while pregnant.
Um...apparently I can't support PP while pregnant?
Is it considered a conflict of interest?
Until my "grown-up job" came along 4 years ago, they were the only option for any reproductive care. The care they provided then gave me a good foundation for carrying my baby now.

I don't even know where I'm going with this. I guess I'm a little dumbfounded.
(Side note: Just because I support PP does not mean that I support abortion.)

I totally agree with you! I accessed services through PP all throughout my 20s because I couldn't afford health insurance. My thoughts on abortion have nothing to do with the excellent care they provide to women and men who have no where else to go. Abortion is something to discuss somewhere else. All I know is I believe PP is doing a great job providing the care they do. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that nonsense.

ChrissyD1203 · September 2015

@ntyravgsp sorry, was not my intent to turn this into a pro-life debate only to respond to the point that people don't realize PP offers services other than abortion, because I think a lot of people do realize that PP offers many other important services but feel so strongly about abortion that they are still very much against the organization. I realize that is certainly not everyone else's view.

AlabamaWorley · September 2015

I hope you're not delivering in a hospital then, because many of them preform abortions and since you feel that it's "murder" it would make you a huge hypocrite.

ntyravgsp · September 2015

@stephanienjer glad you were able to handle the harassment gracefully & keep your cool. Not a lot of people can when they're being confronted like that.

@ChrissyD1203 I understand your point; and I think a lot of people jump to the conclusion that a woman seeking the services of Planned Parenthood wants an abortion. Honestly I think of the birth control and education aspect, because that has mainly been my exposure to it. It just depends on your perspective, no hard feelings.

Eta words

ChrissyD1203 · September 2015

@AlabamaWorley I'm delivering at a Catholic hospital that does not, but I agree with your point.

samara267 · September 2015

First of all, GO YOU for going to an event today!!! And for the record, since being pregnant I'm even more firmly in the pro-CHOICE (not pro-abortion, there's no such thing) camp than I've ever been. I can't imagine they psychological damage that happens when people are forced to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term. Being pregnant is hard work, and physically draining. We all do it because we want the end result, a baby. The idea of putting up with all this crap and not wanting the end result is basically emotional and psychological torture, as far as I'm concerned.

Not to mention the fact that supporting PP actually reduces the number of abortions that are performed in the US since they provide family planning services that would otherwise be unavailable. It's extremely shortsighted to ignore that fact.

kodariah · September 2015

ChrissyD1203 said:
Just to offer a differing viewpoint, in my opinion, because I believe abortion is murder, I don't think the fact that they provide so many other services (which I agree are much needed and wonderful) is enough for me to overlook what else they are doing and support them. That said, I agree that it is ridiculous that you would be singled out for participating just because you are pregnant.

Agree... Its stupid for someone to go out of there way to let you know she thought you were in the wrong. I agree though that while your supporting them for there additional services you are also over looking that 86% of what they do is abortions.
You can't hate on Chrissy for pointing this out cause just like every other post, dont post about something unless you can deal with people's opposing views.

samara267 · September 2015

kodariah said:

Just to offer a differing viewpoint, in my opinion, because I believe abortion is murder, I don't think the fact that they provide so many other services (which I agree are much needed and wonderful) is enough for me to overlook what else they are doing and support them. That said, I agree that it is ridiculous that you would be singled out for participating just because you are pregnant.
Agree... Its stupid for someone to go out of there way to let you know she thought you were in the wrong. I agree though that while your supporting them for there additional services you are also over looking that 86% of what they do is abortions. You can't hate on Chrissy for pointing this out cause just like every other post, dont post about something unless you can deal with people's opposing views.

Actually, only 3% of the services they perform are abortions. The PP near me doesn't even do abortions so it cracks me up when I see protesters outside.

stephanienjer · September 2015

@kodariah Not sure where you got your statistics. I'd be interested to see your source.

Through numerous sources, I have found the statistic that it is more like 3%.

I do find on their own site that 80% of their services are pregnancy prevention, not abortion.

A few other stats (and these are the ones I find over and over, not just on extreme sites):

80% of all services are basic preventive birth control (Pill, shot, ring, etc.,) which prevent 516,000 pregnancies a year.
PP administers 400,000 Pap tests and 500,000 breast exams every year, critical to cancer prevention.
PP provides 4.5 million (million!) STI tests and treatments every year, include 700,000 for HIV.
PP provides outreach and education to 1.5 million teens and adults every year.
Abortions make up 3% of all services provided by PP each year.

ntyravgsp · September 2015

kodariah said:

ChrissyD1203 said:
Just to offer a differing viewpoint, in my opinion, because I believe abortion is murder, I don't think the fact that they provide so many other services (which I agree are much needed and wonderful) is enough for me to overlook what else they are doing and support them. That said, I agree that it is ridiculous that you would be singled out for participating just because you are pregnant.
Agree... Its stupid for someone to go out of there way to let you know she thought you were in the wrong. I agree though that while your supporting them for there additional services you are also over looking that 86% of what they do is abortions.
You can't hate on Chrissy for pointing this out cause just like every other post, dont post about something unless you can deal with people's opposing views.

I just don't see why it's necessary to bring a political opinion about Planned Parenthood in here to offer sympathy to OP for being harassed at an event.

ChrissyD1203 · September 2015

I'm sorry --- didn't mean for this to get out of hand -- to try and smooth things over, I think statistics on this stuff is measured in different ways - abortions as a % of all PP services performed VS abortions as a % of all PP PREGNANCY services performed vs % of abortions performed at a PP vs anywhere else.

Again - I apologize for making this into a debate. Obviously a very sensitive issue with many viewpoints.

PedsIsHardcore · September 2015

I went to PP to get birth control to treat my PCOS when my primary care doc wasn't comfortable giving me birth control due to my diabetes. And I have gone their for my yearly pap and pelvic when I didn't have insurance. Services they provide make it so people regardless of insurance can get health care. That's huge! That person who approached you should be embarrassed for how they acted and the things they said. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that!

ccoleeman · September 2015

I'm so sorry you went through that OP. I was going to PP the first time I got pregnant, and the morning of my first appointment I started spotting. When I was leaving the center, an older woman holding a sign with a picture of an aborted fetus on it yelled "murderer!" at me. I found out shortly after that appointment I was miscarrying, so needless to say her words cut.

I respect those with strong pro life opinions and understand why they have those strong convictions, I just wish all of them could express their opinions as gracefully and respectfully as @Chrissy1203. I'll never understand what makes someone think public shaming will do any good

BabyRut2015 · September 2015

What a jerk!! An uneducated jerk ..... what I'd you were using PP for prenatal care?? It's none of that ladies business AND even if she was severely against abortion and didn't like PP because they provide that service....obviously you weren't there for that! I can't believe that many people are so uneducated about the services that PP provide to a community.

Sorry you had to deal with that!

katiedid0907 · September 2015

I don't think you should be shamed for anything that you believe. However, I do think we can have access to health care without killing babies. And I do think that if you support an organization that performs abortions, you are supporting abortion.

Lljbean · September 2015

*facedesk*

willashbaby · September 2015

Ah screw it, I am COMPLETELY pro choice. I have been there. I have been young and scared and pregnant. I went to PP for a consultation and decided not to terminate at PP but I did elsewhere. I do specifically recall them doing a full counseling session first and they are very thorough with presenting all options and making sure you are comfortable with your choice. I have supported them ever since and I will do so as long as I am able, along with a woman's right to choose.

Krisdee123 · September 2015

#IstandwithPP Sorry that happened OP. Keep fighting the good fight.

Lljbean · September 2015

and I.

ntyravgsp · September 2015

katiedid0907 said:
I don't think you should be shamed for anything that you believe. However, I do think we can have access to health care without killing babies. And I do think that if you support an organization that performs abortions, you are supporting abortion.

Do you even realize how self-contradictory your statement is? [-(

kodariah · September 2015

stephanienjer said:

@kodariah Not sure where you got your statistics. I'd be interested to see your source.
Through numerous sources, I have found the statistic that it is more like 3%.
I do find on their own site that 80% of their services are pregnancy prevention, not abortion.

A few other stats (and these are the ones I find over and over, not just on extreme sites):
80% of all services are basic preventive birth control (Pill, shot, ring, etc.,) which prevent 516,000 pregnancies a year.
PP administers 400,000 Pap tests and 500,000 breast exams every year, critical to cancer prevention.
PP provides 4.5 million (million!) STI tests and treatments every year, include 700,000 for HIV.
PP provides outreach and education to 1.5 million teens and adults every year.
Abortions make up 3% of all services provided by PP each year.

Wow, the only reason I threw a number out was because it was the number stated by Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards today on capital hill. I just got done reading about it when I posted so that's why I used a specific number. And I'm really not getting political, I was just agreeing with a PP because I thought people weren't necessarily be nice about it and I didn't see anything wrong with her point of view. The funny thing is I don't not support PP because I am a radical against abortions, I could care less what women do with there bodies, to each your own.

I am sorry that you got shamed, like I said, it wasn't necessary and your have every right to be taken back by it. I think it's cool you were supporting something you believe in weather I agree or disagree with it or not, it's cool you got involved.

I'm done with this post now though cause I really don't care that much and by throwing out a number I didn't think I would start a political debate, haha

maureenmce · September 2015

@kodariah Whether or not you intended to start a debate, that 80% number you threw out there was insane. Not sure where you heard it, but here's an article on Cecile Richards' testimony on Capitol Hill - she says, again, as previous posters have said, 3%. Furthermore, the person who disagreed with her math and countered with a different number suggested, at absolute highest, 12%. Again, nothing remotely in the ballpark of 80%, which is absurd.

The article on the testimony today which backs up the numbers: https://www.newsweek.com/planned-parenthood-ceo-testifies-hearing-abortion-378112

That said, like many other Planned Parenthood supporters, regardless of the percentage, I support access for all women to full, comprehensive health care, including abortion. And to echo PP - if you're interested in reducing the number of abortions, hopefully one day to zero or near it, the best way to do that is through excellent sex ed and access to contraception for all women.

Furthermore, even if you think abortion is baby murder, please understand that if abortion were made illegal or access to abortion services denied, abortions would not stop - they would simply be dangerous and result in the unnecessary death of more women. My grandmother saw a family member die on her kitchen table due to a botched abortion. There will always be women and girls desperate enough to risk their life if they have to (especially victims of incest/rape) and I would hope we wouldn't revert back to a world when that kind of risk was necessary any time soon.

samara267 · September 2015

maureenmce said:

@kodariah Whether or not you intended to start a debate, that 80% number you threw out there was insane. Not sure where you heard it, but here's an article on Cecile Richards' testimony on Capitol Hill - she says, again, as previous posters have said, 3%. Furthermore, the person who disagreed with her math and countered with a different number suggested, at absolute highest, 12%. Again, nothing remotely in the ballpark of 80%, which is absurd.

The article on the testimony today which backs up the numbers: https://www.newsweek.com/planned-parenthood-ceo-testifies-hearing-abortion-378112

That said, like many other Planned Parenthood supporters, regardless of the percentage, I support access for all women to full, comprehensive health care, including abortion. And to echo PP - if you're interested in reducing the number of abortions, hopefully one day to zero or near it, the best way to do that is through excellent sex ed and access to contraception for all women.

Furthermore, even if you think abortion is baby murder, please understand that if abortion were made illegal or access to abortion services denied, abortions would not stop - they would simply be dangerous and result in the unnecessary death of more women. My grandmother saw a family member die on her kitchen table due to a botched abortion. There will always be women and girls desperate enough to risk their life if they have to (especially victims of incest/rape) and I would hope we wouldn't revert back to a world when that kind of risk was necessary any time soon.

this. exactly this. well said.

katiedid0907 · September 2015

ntyravgsp said:

katiedid0907 said:
I don't think you should be shamed for anything that you believe. However, I do think we can have access to health care without killing babies. And I do think that if you support an organization that performs abortions, you are supporting abortion.
Do you even realize how self-contradictory your statement is? [-(

No I really don't.

kmo8986 · September 2015

Good for you for supporting such an important cause. I don't care if you are pro-choice or pro-life, what everyone should be is pro- access to healthcare. I used PP in high school and college to have access to regular paps and birth control, I never once thought about having an abortion but I didn't need to BECAUSE OF PP!! They gave me access to free contraceptives, eliminating my need to maybe make a terrible decision. If you really feel like defunding PP you should probably stop going to doctors and hospitals that offer abortions too, because after all aren't you funding them too?

Snoopylovesbelle · September 2015

katiedid0907 said:
I don't think you should be shamed for anything that you believe. However, I do think we can have access to health care without killing babies. And I do think that if you support an organization that performs abortions, you are supporting abortion.

Doctors and hospitals perform abortions as well it's not just PP so your statement makes no sense.

There are better ways to communicate your viewpoint and supporting or not supporting abortion is not an argument that is appropriate on a pregnancy board.

ChrissyD1203 · September 2015

Snoopylovesbelle said:

katiedid0907 said:
I don't think you should be shamed for anything that you believe. However, I do think we can have access to health care without killing babies. And I do think that if you support an organization that performs abortions, you are supporting abortion.
Doctors and hospitals perform abortions as well it's not just PP so your statement makes no sense.

There are better ways to communicate your viewpoint and supporting or not supporting abortion is not an argument that is appropriate on a pregnancy board.

Just to clarify, and so @katiedid0907 isn't completely bashed here--- there are tons of doctors and hospitals that do not perform abortions (particularly private ones that do not take federal funds). So, I think what she said is true in that it is possible to get women's healthcare services without supporting a provider that also performs abortions. In more rural areas, a lot of providers don't offer abortions, not based on their philosophies, but instead based on their lack of resources to provide them.

TTiger03 · September 2015

My mother has been very vocal lately against PP and is using my babies as an example of why abortions are wrong. It peeves me. My babies are very much wanted and we worked hard to figure out how to conceive (TMI). I get really upset when she talks about how big my babies are now... and I refuse to watch any video she pushes about it. Nightmares.

Now, as others mentioned, I'm certainly not "pro-abortion", but do stand up for the medical necessity. A good friend tried for years to have a baby. She went through several miscarriages. She finally had one stick and was so happy until her 12 week scan when they detected no brain stem. It is a wonder she didn't miscarry, but had she been forced to "term" she would have been incredibly high risk of losing her own life for a child that would not survive.
I feel for the women we have seen come and go from this board as there were plenty that did lose their babies. There are still others that are dealing with more survivable issues who would not dream of termination.

We all have our own stories.

I thank goodness it seems my boys are doing ok and I don't have to make a very real/hard choice.

I just got shamed for having a bump and participating in Pink Out.

Re: I just got shamed for having a bump and participating in Pink Out.

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