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Infertility
Echogirlxo
member
Me: 25 DH: 28
Venting…
Echogirlxo
member
in Infertility
Just a bit of venting to help me TRY and stay positive outside the online world… I have a job that, unfortunately, brings the subject of infertility to mind quite often in my day. I'm a Sonographer, an Ultrasound Technologist = I see pregnant ladies all day! So I'm just going to list a few things that bothered me today… Some of these things might not be a big deal to some, but I have to get it out.
#1 My boss tells me: "Oh when you left a message on my voicemail the other day to call you back, I thought for sure you were going to tell me you were pregnant!" WRONG.
#2 I see on the schedule that a friend of mine is coming for her 20 week routine today (she can't wait to find out if it's a girl or a boy). Positive thought: She's not booked with me.
#3 I see on Facebook that my husband's younger cousin (that does NOT have his life together, at all) got his 19 yo girlfriend knocked-up. She posted a pee-stick picture with "The butterflies he gave me turned into little feet". Then I see that my next appointment is….. HER. Thankfully I can pass her off to a co-worker. My co-worker tells me she's 5 weeks pregnant.
#4 I have to go for a blood test today (Cycle Day 21) for my Gyn/Obs specialist, and I push it until tomorrow. I think what the heck, I didn't ovulate yet this cycle… stupid long cycles. Why can't I ovulate regularly like a normal woman??
#5 I see that one of my co-workers (who's on mat-leave) has posted the cutest family picture on FB. She's so darned lucky.
There. The end of my venting!! 
**Trigger warning**
Me: 25 DH: 28
TTC Sept-Oct 2013
Journey:
-Stopped BC pills Sept-Oct 2013
-First ovulation June 2014 *8 looong months later
-Very long and irregular cycles. Sometimes spotting during tww. Always BFNs.
-On cycle 9 of TTC: BFP @11DPO.
Testing/Therapy:
-Hormone testing with Naturopath showed very low progesterone
-Prescribed topical Progesterone cream twice a day starting at ovulation
-Husband's SA excellent
-My HSG normal.
-Undergoing treatment by TCM (Chinese acupuncture/herbs)
Re: Venting…
Do you have people to vent to or a way to get out frustration?
Where are you on your TTC journey?
I'm sorry and I relate. I give myself room to feel how I do and try not to get caught up in guilt.
It sucks when these crappy circumstances happen to good people, ladies who want to be and would make good mom's.
Thinking of you and sending good thoughts.
Me: 25 DH: 28
Unexplained Infertility- Postive for MTHFR Gene Mutation
Natural cycles with 1 miscarriage
-3 IUI's w/ Clomid= BFN
-IVF #1-Follistim and Menopur= BFN
***11 Eggs, 10 mature, 8 fertilized, transferred 1 (day 5) 2 made it to freeze
-FET #1- Transferred 2, day 5 embryos =BFN
-IVF #2- Follistim and Menopur = BFN
***11 retrieved, 8 mature, 6 fertilized, transferred 2 (day 3), 4 made it to freeze (Follistim and Menopur) = BFN
-FET #2- Transferred 2, day 3 embryos = BFN
**Changed doctor**
-IUI #4- natural cycle = BFN
-IUI #5- Follistim (5 eggs) BFP- lead to Miscarriage :'(
-Laproscopic Surgery for Endometriosis, Polyp removal and Cyst removal.
-IVF #3- Menopur, Follistim, Lupron, Ganirellex- BFP lead to Eptopic Pregnancy :'(
***11 Eggs retrieved, 10 Mature, 8 fertilized, transferred 3 embryos (day 3), 0 made it to freeze
-Lapropscopic surgery- Removal of Fallopian Tube
-IVF #4- Estrogen Priming with Vivelle dot, Menopur, Follistim, Ganirellex- BFP
***15 Eggs retreived, 11 mature, 11 fertilized, 2 embryos transferred (day 3), 2 made it to freeze
Found out I was positive for MTHFR Gene Mutation during TWW of IVF #4
I have a sister-in-law who can get pregnant by sneezing. The night before my first IUI, she told me she was pregnant with twins... After having a 6 month old home already. A few days before my third IUI, she gave birth to them! And here I am. Still unpregnant.
Echogirlxo thank you for sharing your rant!! I have similar thoughts to you (co worker pregnant, yay, let's have an office baby shower for her.....male coworker having his first child, let's have a party for him and get weekly updates from him on the baby's status....) sometimes I feel like an insanely selfish and cold hearted person having the thoughts that I just DONT care about these other people's happiness right now! Of course in the grand scheme, i'm happy for them but right now it just hits too close to home and makes me feel jealous and sad. During my first cycle, 2nd US, the doctor walked in and was pregnant and I thought, you have GOT to be kidding me!
I give you credit for keeping your composure in your work atmosphere--IDK if I could do it so give yourself for some serious credit for going through this AND being in that atmosphere every day! Hang in there--I just keep trying to think--there's GOT to be a positive outcome for us all eventually we just need to persevere!
I think we all can feel you here!!
I am a lot better now then I was because I have started the process, but I still have the why not me feelings.
My younger cousin found out she was preg with twins (her second preg) and my mom was worried to tell me. She didn't want to upset me. That made me feel a little bad. But she understood.
I am some what lucky that I have a close cousin that has the same issues and went to the same dr that I am now. She went through IUI and IVF and has 2 beautiful children. So I can talk to her. She totally gets it and is good support at keeping my hopes up.
This community has helped a lot as well!!
Know we are all here!!
IUI #1 and 2 BFN
IUI #3 BFP - miscarried at 7 weeks
started IVF cycle Feb 2016
2/19 ER-- 20 Retrieved 12 fertilized 6 tested
2/26 -- 3 normal, 2 abnormal, 2 unconfirmed
4/3 transfer
4/29 - Miscarried
8/25 - transfer
9/3 - BFP -- fingers crossed...
Ohh @BBJones0105 that's brutal!! :S
Me: 25 DH: 28
Me: 25 DH: 28
@HBamama2B said something on another thread that I always think about and has really helped me. She said when she sees a pregnant woman walking down the street, she imagines they're a fellow Bumpie who struggled with IF. If all these women are pregnant, it's bound to happen for us too!