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Get involved or stay out of it? (Long)

blended10blended10 member
edited September 2015 in Blended Families
Hi-
I'm a long-time stepmom (13 years in) with a 21ss & 18sd amongst my other lo's. The question I have is this - the older kids came to live with us full-time about 5 yrs ago (21 has moved out bc he's an adult now) and their bio-mom has been in & out of their lives. Relationships between the SD & bm are especially strained. Their most recent fight resulted in them not speaking for the last 9 months. SD has her bday coming up & wanted to invite her mom so I reached out to invite her to dinner out. She never responded to my email.
This Sunday my sd knew her brothers (bm sons from second marriage) were at the local hs for a game so she stopped by to see them- well bm was there & prevented sd from speaking to the boys & left abruptly (according to sd sped out of parking lot, wheels sqeeling & laughing). Needless to say sd was embarrassed, sad & angry. She no longer wants her mother at her party.
My question is- do I reach out to bm's family (who I do have a relationship with) to try to mend this? Or do I just stay out of it? I hate to see sd feeling so sad
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Re: Get involved or stay out of it? (Long)

  • AgkathyAgkathy member
    I would not reach out to them specificlly based on the incident. They are all adults at this point and your role is to just continue to be the positive maternal figure you have been. Go about your families plans to celebrate SD birthday ,be there for her if she wants to talk about it but dont get directly involved in figuring out why BM behaves the way she does. I would surround SD with friends and family that bring positivity to her life and get her cx for any mom issues she might be having or develop due to having such a crazy witch in her life .
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  • blended10blended10 member
    @Agkathy thanks- sd has been in counseling (good or bad) since coming to live with us. It's sad really. As a mother I just can't understand how you abandon your kids. I wish there was a way to bring some peace to the situation.
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