family reunion and baby questions!

SusieG85 · September 2015

Just got back from a family weekend that was like a mini reunion, so of course the questions about who is having a baby next/when will I get pregnant were flying! So hard not to yell "Soon but not now!" at everyone, haha. I'm sure going into the holidays it will only happen more and more...

Anyone else feeling the pressure from family these days?

Xstatic3333 · September 2015

We are getting the opposite. I think H and I come off a bit "wild and free," so family will be surprised when we announce. An exception is my mom, who asks occasionally but never pressures. Pressure must be frustrating! I feel for ya.

onefootinthebayou · September 2015

Not really. With the exception of a few wayward aunts and uncles, my family generally knows that our reproductive plans are a private matter & none of their business. That is a nice relief compared to some of the other comments I see other posters have to deal with!

als1982 · September 2015

My parents were married for close to a decade before having kids, so I've never been pressured by my mom (dad is deceased) to get married or have kids.

My extended family does occasionally say things, but I'm a total B about it and remind them that it's none of their business.

The rudeness and nerve of people to ask questions about or like this is just beyond my understanding!

pourmeanothermocktail · September 2015

Amongst family and friends, we don't get the questions really at all, other than are we planning on kids at SOME point. Though obviously the closest ones know that we definitely are! We're the first to get married and settle down of our generation in both families and in our friend circle though - so many others aren't even thinking kids yet.

On the other hand, I'm a bartender, and customers (not even usually the regular ones) are ALWAYS asking me. This is a question that I don't feel rude from friends & relatives, but seems particularly pushy and nosy from people you don't know at all!

baker+RN · September 2015

Not pressure from family, but from friends and coworkers. I just started a new job a month ago and keep getting the same round of questions at lunch/breaks: "Are you married? Do you have any kids? Do you want kids? When?" I'm already edgy about the kids questions because yes, I want kids. I want them yesterday. Then, this Saturday I'm meeting up with some old friends from HS (mini 12 year reunion?) for dinner and a bar crawl (seriously, aren't we too old for bar crawls by now?). Plus, I can't drink right now because of antibiotics I'm taking for latent TB (risk of working as a nurse) until Dec, but no one ever believes that's why I'm not drinking and thinks it's cute to poke and prod and pry. So since we haven't seen each other in a long time, I'm anticipating the typical flow of questions, "How was the wedding? How was the honeymoon? When are you having kids?" I SO WISH I COULD DRINK THROUGH THESE QUESTIONS.

But now that I've put it all to paper, I'm pretty sure that most of this pressure is in my head. It's potential pressure. It's pressure I've put on myself, because these conversations with my HS friends haven't happened yet. If I remind myself before getting into the restaurant that they're my friends and asking these questions because they love me (not because of some malevolent desire to tell me to get on the babymaking ball), then I think I'll get through it relatively unscathed.

And if not, I'll just allow myself to have a good cry afterwards!

vampbride99 · September 2015

als1982 said:

My parents were married for close to a decade before having kids, so I've never been pressured by my mom (dad is deceased) to get married or have kids. My extended family does occasionally say things, but I'm a total B about it and remind them that it's none of their business. The rudeness and nerve of people to ask questions about or like this is just beyond my understanding!

My parents were married for 13 years before having me and my sister, so I too have never been pressured by my parents. They have always told me to have them when we're ready and not for anyone else. I get more pressure from my in-laws and friends than anyone else. Every so often my MIL asks about it and my husband's grandmother asks too. Friends are always asking, but the closest ones to us know that we are trying now.

SusieG85 · September 2015

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one getting some questions!

emmaaa · September 2015

We've had some people, mainly friends actually, ask us when we're going to have kids. A lot of family expect it soon but haven't been too pressuring luckily.

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