I don't know the rest of your interactions with her, or your overall relationship, but I would be grateful if my MIL bought everything we needed! Unless there are strings attached, it seems like it would be a good thing. Others invited to your shower might buy things not on your registry or give you gift cards. Personally, I would be thrilled. In fact, have her send stuff my way
Just say, "I know you're really excited and you want to help us out from afar, but you've already gone overboard with the he gifts. We really appreciate your generosity, but there's not going to be anything left on the registry at this rate." Consider yourself lucky. We're having our first boy and no one has bought us anything, or offered, like they did for our girl. Not that I expect them to at all, I'm just saying. But I can see how this would get to be too much.
I would only say something if she's the type of MIL who would try to hold it over your head at another time. If that's not the case then just happily accept it all and return for store credit if you get duplicates. Enjoy it, this is a good "problem".
We have this same 'problem'. Our MIL doesn't get to see DD all the time and she often thinks about her and buys her things when she's out and about. The last haul was 3 overstuffed craters bag and a push car. It's annoying at times, as I don't want DD to be spoiled and I don't think MIL should be spending as much money as she does. However, I try to remind myself (and others on this board have kindly reminded me) that we are lucky to have a grandma who loves her grand baby. As long as she isn't holding it over your head and demanding things in return, try to be grateful for it. We've said to her before that she doesn't need to be buying all of this stuff but it doesn't matter. Your other guests can still find things for you or get you gift cards which you'll certainly need once the initial gift giving stage is over.
My mom is that kind of mom/MIL my one sister in law hated it and it didn't bother my other one so much... I don't know your MIL or anything but with my mom she does it not because she thinks we can't afford it but it legitimately makes her happy. My parents are better off now then they were when we were little and it brings her so much joy to be ABLE to do those things for her grandchildren and its kind of her way of giving back to her mom and MIL that helped her and my dad out when they started having kids. If she's doing it with other bad motives thats one thing, but if its just her way of feeling involved I think its kind of stupid that your getting upset honestly. Other people will still have stuff to buy you, you can never have too many clothes or too many diapers... I would be grateful and feel loved not upset... You could have a MIL like mine who doesn't really care and its her first grandchild..
She's buying all used items from garage sales, goodwill, and online thrift stores.. So I can't just take them back and get diapers or something.
If she is a garage sale shopper, she is probably having a lot of fun shopping for baby stuff on the weekends. Shopping garage sales is a bit of a "thrill of the hunt" type of thing, usually you don't find much, but there is tons of baby stuff out there.
Just be grateful for the gifts, thank her, use what you want and sell or donate the rest!
Agree with PP. Don't take items off of your registry if you still want the one you picked out. Sell or donate what you don't want. Tell her while you appreciate the gifts, you picked out certain ones to go with your colors/theme
If you can't return the things that she gets you, donate them. There are so many moms struggling to make it and provide for their family that I'm sure they will be much appreciated. Plus if she is buying them for you from thrift stores, etc they will still be on your registry so your other guests can get you the ones you wanted and chances are because she lives so far away she won't even know the difference. But really, please donate things you get but don't want/need - there are so many people that can use them!!!
Maybe to get her to stop buying, tell her your concerned about the safety of the used items. I mean from not knowing about previous owners use of the item to bed bugs to lead content to recalls you can make her question her purchases.
Fyi so I don't get flamed, I know there is great used stuff out there that is safe! I already have I gently used swing and high chair. I just thought this might be a way to get her MIL to stop buying.
So not the responses you were looking for? Lame... If I had seen your question I may not have been half as polite as the posters above...
She pretty much said her MIL was overbearing because she kept buying stuff for her baby and it made her feel like she was suggesting she couldn't provide for her own child. She also said she felt like there would be nothing left on the registry for others to buy, although her MIL was mostly thrift shopping and picking out things that she preferred to what was on the registry, so she wasn't actually buying off the registry. I believe she said her MIL lived 700 miles away so buying tons of stuff was probably her way of being involved.
I guess she didn't like that people basically told her to stop complaining over having a generous MIL? This thread had no problems until the DD happened. Never cool.
OP, it is considered rude to remove a question just because you don't like the responses you receive. Someone else may have a similar question in the future that this post could have helped.
So not the responses you were looking for? Lame... If I had seen your question I may not have been half as polite as the posters above...
She pretty much said her MIL was overbearing because she kept buying stuff for her baby and it made her feel like she was suggesting she couldn't provide for her own child. She also said she felt like there would be nothing left on the registry for others to buy, although her MIL was mostly thrift shopping and picking out things that she preferred to what was on the registry, so she wasn't actually buying off the registry. I believe she said her MIL lived 700 miles away so buying tons of stuff was probably her way of being involved.
I guess she didn't like that people basically told her to stop complaining over having a generous MIL? This thread had no problems until the DD happened. Never cool.
lol wow....
I hate when my family members want to be involved!!! :-( (
Please...
Also, I would've probably never even opened this thread if it wasn't for the DD.
Maybe she started thinking her MIL might come on here and read her posts. That is a realistic fear for me, at least! Not that I think it would do anything but make me very angry to have a stalker.
The topic of her post plus the fact she deleted everything she wrote leads me to believe she's an easily upset person... Don't ask for advice unless you can handle people not agreeing...
Not to mention this was her first post and only activity on TB. I'm guessing she came here looking for sympathy and for us to tell her how right she is to be annoyed that her MIL is buying her baby everything and not leaving anything for all the guests invited to her shower to buy...what on earth will she get from them now?!?!?
I don't care if you think it's rude I deleted my post. Anonymous women telling me my feelings are stupid is enough of a reason for me to remove... So all of you trying to attack me for whatever reason can seriously just piss off. If the best thing you have to do is sit around and try and figure out what kind of person I am by a post I made, and then deleted, you need to get a life. It's not about "what are people going to buy me"... it's about feeling like my MIL is trying to take over and push her idea of how to raise a child on me. I don't appreciate it or any of you mocking me.
@ctaylor33 I continuously try to stand up for people on this board when I think they are get mocked or flamed, but I just looked at the first 12 comments (the only comments you received before you deleted your post) and not a single one was negative and none of them said your feelings are stupid. I think we all tried to give you our sincere advice, just because some of us may have viewed your situation differently than you, doesn't mean we were trying to upset you. I personally thought that you wrote your post because you were looking for some advice and not someone to just feel bad for you. Maybe I was wrong?
I don't care if you think it's rude I deleted my post. Anonymous women telling me my feelings are stupid is enough of a reason for me to remove... So all of you trying to attack me for whatever reason can seriously just piss off. If the best thing you have to do is sit around and try and figure out what kind of person I am by a post I made, and then deleted, you need to get a life. It's not about "what are people going to buy me"... it's about feeling like my MIL is trying to take over and push her idea of how to raise a child on me. I don't appreciate it or any of you mocking me.
First of all, NO one said your feelings were stupid. You just made that up. Everyone tried sympathizing or offering a different perspective. No one is attacking you either, everyone was respectful and after you deleted your post (which is very immature and frowned upon) people were curious why you deleted and irritated that you did so. Still no attacking though. But accusing people of attacking you, telling them to piss off, and telling them they don't have a life (for contributing to a conversation YOU started) only makes you look bad.
I saw this thread from the start but didn't comment because I thought you got some great courteous responses. You are going to be a mother soon, and things are going to come up that you're not going to like. Your baby is going to do things off course from what you wanted. Take a breath, find some grace and admit that you don't know everything and you are not in control of everyone. It will make life a lot easier for you.
I don't care if you think it's rude I deleted my post. Anonymous women telling me my feelings are stupid is enough of a reason for me to remove... So all of you trying to attack me for whatever reason can seriously just piss off. If the best thing you have to do is sit around and try and figure out what kind of person I am by a post I made, and then deleted, you need to get a life. It's not about "what are people going to buy me"... it's about feeling like my MIL is trying to take over and push her idea of how to raise a child on me. I don't appreciate it or any of you mocking me.
I don't care if you think it's rude I deleted my post. Anonymous women telling me my feelings are stupid is enough of a reason for me to remove... So all of you trying to attack me for whatever reason can seriously just piss off. If the best thing you have to do is sit around and try and figure out what kind of person I am by a post I made, and then deleted, you need to get a life. It's not about "what are people going to buy me"... it's about feeling like my MIL is trying to take over and push her idea of how to raise a child on me. I don't appreciate it or any of you mocking me.
Well, I guess this is no longer a boring DD. OP, it's just a message board. It's not that serious. From my perspective no one was attacking you, but if you are getting this upset over something so minimal it's probably best you step away from the computer.
Well this was disappointing. I just came because of the deleted title, expecting some good drama, and all I found was a typical post about a MIL and some helpful responses. What a let down.
I'm sorry that you felt like you were being rude, i did say i though it was stupid to get upset that someone was trying to be helpful by buying things for you, sorry if that offended you. I think it would have been one thing for you to say i feel like my mil is trying to push her ideas of how i should raise my child on me, but that's not what you said. You said you thought it was patronizing that she was buying your things, and other people were going to be able to buy you the things you really wanted from your registry. People didn't agree that you should be upset over that. I didn't see anyone trying to attack you instead I saw people telling you they didn't agree and they personally would be grateful to feel like there MIL cared enough to think of you and the baby while she's out shopping. We all said if she is doing it to try to be able to push her views or if she has bad motives that's one thing and tell her it's not alright. If she was just annoying you though cause she was buying things you didn't like or want then get over it and be grateful someone cares enough to do it for you. It's a gift from her and you would be offended if someone got mad at you trying to be nice and give them a gift. It is rude to post something and then get mad and storm off when people aren't telling you what you want to hear. Don't post about something unless you can handle people disagreeing.
Re: .
Your other guests can still find things for you or get you gift cards which you'll certainly need once the initial gift giving stage is over.
Two years, two losses and three IUIs...
We are having TRIPLETS!
EDD 1/26/16
GGB born November 2015!
Just be grateful for the gifts, thank her, use what you want and sell or donate the rest!
Fyi so I don't get flamed, I know there is great used stuff out there that is safe! I already have I gently used swing and high chair. I just thought this might be a way to get her MIL to stop buying.
Do people really get that upset at ladies on the internet disagreeing with you?
I guess she didn't like that people basically told her to stop complaining over having a generous MIL? This thread had no problems until the DD happened. Never cool.
OP, it is considered rude to remove a question just because you don't like the responses you receive. Someone else may have a similar question in the future that this post could have helped.
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
That is a realistic fear for me, at least! Not that I think it would do anything but make me very angry to have a stalker.
Two years, two losses and three IUIs...
We are having TRIPLETS!
EDD 1/26/16
GGB born November 2015!
BFP #2 1/22/2012 ~ DS2 & DD ~ BIRTHday 9/13/2012 ~ unplanned C-section @ 38w1d
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
Married: 7.23.11
DD:10.17.12
EDD #2!:1.17.16