Hello, I'm new.

Caroline351 · September 2015

I started poking around here and thought I'd introduce myself.

My husband and I were married in May of 2014 and immediately started TTC. We have had no luck, which I attribute to being diagnosed with PCOS AND Endometriosis when I was 23. After a few months of trying and ridiculously irregular periods I met with a new doctor who put me on Clomid. My periods were still all wonky and I never had a positive ovulation. I bought a thermometer to track my temp and there was no rhyme or reason. Finally after four months on the Clomid Doc upped the dose for one month, when that didn't work she referred me to an out of town specialist (there are NONE in our small town).

With the specialist I learned a bit more about what my doc hadn't really been doing (I hadn't had a follicle study, they hadn't checked my tubes which seems insane when I have endo and no bloodwork). Suddenly we were thrust into a world of tests and appointments. Last month was our first round of Femara and Ovudril. We did everything they told us do, to the minute. The TWW was horrible, then my awful cramps came and I knew it didn't work.

I find myself getting sadder and sadder, and frustrated. All our family and friends are pregnant and having babies and we're over here like, well this sucks. We have actually had friends tell us "Relax, it'll happen when it's right" and "You just need to DO IT more!" (silly us, we thought every other day WAS enough!) I'm hoping reading others experiences will help me understand more of what is happening and give me hope that this is not a wasted effort. It also helps to know we are not alone.

kendra0312 · September 2015

My husband had a vasectomy we had it reversed and was told it was successful! We tried and tried and tried and nothing ever happened! We went to a specialist and did Icsi Ivf first cycle was stopped due to ohss then we did a frozen cycle and it ended up chemical! Fertility issues are not easy and you are definitely not alone! After our Ivf failed my best friend called and told me she was pregnant I cried for about 2 hours! Keep meeting with the specialist and keep and open mind! I will tell you for myself personally I had to start considering how I could get passed not having kids and it has been a difficult journey! I am now during my 2ww for my 2nd fet! The road is long!

mclorn · September 2015

Hi Ladies! It is such a lonely path, but more and more I am finding we are not alone. Unfortunately, sometimes there is no rhyme or reason a cycles fails. I had a perfect IVF cycle and BFN, however my best friend had 2 of the lowest grade embryos transferred, left with nothing to freeze, and she is pregnant with twins! So there is hope but I also find it important to protect myself. It is okay to decline a baby shower invite if it hurts too much, it is okay to yell, pamper yourself, be selfish, whatever you need to do! Sometimes you want advice, sometimes you just want someone to listen... I am happy to do both

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lovelifewife · September 2015

Welcome, and I hope that you are able to find some good answers with your specialist. The advice you get once people know you've been trying is funny "it'll happen when you aren't thinking of it", "drink some wine, and relax", "it'll happen eventually". If it were only that easy, I'd be clearing my mind of it, and drinking wine every night! Keep your head up, we are here for you!

Caroline351 · September 2015

Thank you ladies! I love babies but sometimes I just have to walk away and be alone. It's especially hard when it's family, but I'm learning to deal. I have been having crazy mood swings and have cried for the silliest reasons, even at work (thankful for a private office!) We certainly have plenty of reasons to laugh these days (the tears over the unshared pizza rolls...seriously). I'm so grateful to have a husband with a sense of humor!

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Rachd110 · September 2015

Welcome @Caroline351. This journey is very frustrating and can be lonely. It's hard to remain positive when all we get is bad news. My husband and I have been trying for a year and a half. I'm currently in my 2ww for my second IUI. I've been diagnosed with unexplained fertility and my husband has no sperm issues. It's great to have this community. Everyone is very friendly. You are not alone.

ErikaMG · September 2015

Welcome @Caroline351 - I'm sorry your journey has brought you here, but we are happy to have you.

This is a wonderful group of ladies, all going through similar things. I've learned so much from them, and they have uplifted me during my darkest moments of doubt and fear and sadness. You are most definitely not alone! Big hugs to you...

agriffin92013 · September 2015

Welcome @Caroline351 I've come to love this group. It's a tough situation, but at least we are not alone

oxinfree · September 2015

Hi @Caroline351 - Welcome. I'm sorry you've had to find yourself in this group, but what a great place full of amazingly supportive women you have at your disposal.

I'm so sorry to hear about your endo/PCOS. I may have endo myself but haven't had a laroscopy to confirm it as they couldn't see anything on the ultrasounds etc. I know about dealing with irregular periods and the whole bit. I also know the frustration all too well of watching what feels like every other living soul getting pregnant around you. It's painful, and I feel your pain, and feel for you. I'm sorry you've had to endure the struggle.

I actually literally just posted on my blog about insensitive comments as I had an interaction the other day that made me want to pull my hair out. I probably didn't handle it with the most grace, but I believe we should be granted the understanding to freak out from time to time. Not sure what you said or how you reacted in those instances, but I'm sure it didn't feel good. Hugs to you.

In terms of all the testing, yes its a drag, BUT hopefully you feel as though you are in the right hands now and working towards your goal in a more directed manner. I wish you the absolute best on this journey and hope it is a short one!

ps. Tyra and Christy just had a very public declaration of their frustrations. Have a look but be prepared to cry along:

https://youtu.be/qoCO06M1Mzs

NicWalker10 · September 2015

@oxinfree THANK YOU for posting this! I agree with everyone here that it is SO hard to deal with all of the questions about when are you going to have kids from family friend and for me sometimes virtual strangers! I have had people I am acquainted with through work ask and it's so uncomfortable-these aren't people who are friends or family, but they feel like it's ok to just ask you when you are going to have children! My husbands family asks EVERYTIME we see them, and they watch me to see if I take a sip of wine at dinner and then say, oh I guess you're not pregnant. On one occasion, my husband's father told me that I looked great, like I had a glow about me---and then later say he said that because he wanted to see if I would say I was pregnant. People may mean well, but they don't seem to understand that all of us here in this community want to have a child more than anything and our inability to do so is so far beyond our control that it is hurtful to ask us about it.

I truly appreciate this community and I wish everyone here the best of luck for success here. We haven't been successful yet, but i'm hoping all of us here get our wish soon!

oxinfree · September 2015

@NicWalker10 ABSOLUTELY!!! I wish everyone could feel the pain seemingly innocent comments can cause someone, simply to give them the framework and understanding. It's not even limited to infertility really. My experiences have made me so much more empathetic knowing that I can never truly know what someone else is going through and to approach topics with a sense of compassion always. Best of luck to you!!!

misshopeful1 · September 2015

People can just be ignorant and insensitive! Having a baby is so personal but it's a topic that comes up so often, seemingly in front of a group of mere acquaintances. Awkward!

misshopeful1 · September 2015

Welcome.

I too have unexplained infertility and my husband is normal. I feel awful. I'm the reason he can't be a dad. He's great and hates seeing how hard it is for me every month when my period comes.

I wish I knew how to be more positive right now. I got my period Monday but had light spotting for several hours Sunday. We'd had our first iui. Seriously the week I get my period, just count me out. I'm so weepy and depressed.

I hope you are able to have a baby and I wish the same for us.

dreambig1021 · September 2015

I'm so sorry you find yourself here but welcome we are all here to support one another. There are just some that will never understand what it is to be in our shoes.

emgem819 · September 2015

Welcome @Caroline351 ! Glad to have you join this group. I'm new also and have been TTC for about four months, this last month the most medicated cycle and we did femara and bravelle shots then the trigger shot and TI. I'm currently in my TWW but not having much hope because I only had one follicle that was of the right size. I also suffer from PCOS and I'm actually not sure if I've ovulated either, so some girls on here suggested I look into progesterone testing which I'll be asking my RE about next time if this doesn't work. It is a lonely road sometimes but try to stay positive that you'll get your BFP soon! Sounds like you are in better hands now with the specialist so sometimes it takes a few tries with the right combo of meds to get it right. We are all here for you!

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