Nursing to sleep

shelley423russ · September 2015

My baby nurses to sleep and I keep hearing this is a bad habit. I try to put her to bed before she is fully asleep to get her used to going to sleep on her own but she is still waking every four hours throughout the night. I'm just wondering if anyone had successfully nursed their baby to sleep until they were weaned. I work at home and keep her home with me so when I need her to go to sleep quickly, nursing works best so it would be really hard for me to try and get her to sleep any other way. When I've tried in the past she just screams until I give in and nurse. Is nursing to sleep really so bad?

marijaa333 · September 2015

I have nursed to sleep and then transitioned to putting LO down drowsy but awake. He usually puts himself to sleep without fussing, unless he's still hungry. So, in my experience, no, it's not so bad.

HOWEVER, he still eats every 3-4 hours at night, possibly out of habit developed before we got his reflux under control, so I will have to night wean at least for 1-2 feeds.

It seems to me that's a separate problem from nursing to sleep, since I know for a fact he can get himself to sleep if he's not hungry.

I would love to hear about other people's experiences too!

shelley423russ · September 2015

How do you go about night weaning?

harpyogi · September 2015

This excellent article helped me feel less guilty for nursing to sleep. My DS mixes is up sometimes nursing to sleep other times just needing to be rocked to sleep. Embracing that if he needs to comfort nurse that's totally ok and healthy for him.

https://kellymom.com/bf/normal/comfortnursing/

CanadaMom17 · September 2015

I nurse to sleep too. I am also lucky to have a year's mat leave, so I'm hoping I can work on this before I go back for work, at least for naps. I have read bf babies can very often need a night feeding or two until 9 or 10 months, so you might find you will need to consolidate them, but still need one or two.

On a good night (I think we might have some sleep regression going on) she goes down (in my bed) around 8, might nurse a bit if I wake her a little at about 10:30, or sleep through until 4ish. Nurses around 4, but then also around 5:30, and 6:30 if she sleeps that late. She's been up between 6 and 7 lately too (used to be 8).

marijaa333 · September 2015

I don't know yet how to go about night weaning. They say pick a feeding you want to drop and reduce slowly the amount they drink then. I'd like to try to drop the 3am one, but so far I've found it hard to put him down until he decides he's had enough. My mom suggested tricking him with water or watering down the milk in a bottle... Not sure whether I want to go that route...

itscecebaby22 · September 2015

My lil muffin nurses too sleep only problem we had is she wont sleep in a bed she crys all nite so my hubby puts her in our bed next me and she sleeps and wakes up every two hours to eat

gtellier · September 2015

Thank you for posting this article @harpyogi

cee209230 · September 2015

I have been nursing DD to sleep for almost a month now, I believe. She had started fighting sleep so bad there wasn't anything else I could do that would calm her and she's definitely not a "cry it out" baby. I've purposely not told anyone, like it's a secret, for getting her to sleep and nap because I feel they will judge me or tell me to do otherwise. I had thought it was bad like I was starting her on a bad habit and kept telling myself I need to stop- but I haven't yet. But after reading that article @harpyogi had posted I feel so much better now- thank you! I no longer feel so terrible!

krislynn20 · September 2015

I nurse my LO to sleep all the time as well. I also haven't told anyone because I know I'll be told it's a "bad habit" just like cosleeping. She definitely doesn't have the personality for CIO and whenever I put her in her crib she wakes up and screams like someone's hurting her. She also doesn't suck her thumb/fingers or take a pacifier so once she's worked up it takes a long time to calm her down. I just find nursing to sleep the least stressful for both of us. I'm sure she'll break out of the habit when she's ready. Just have to remember they are only little and needy for such a short period of their life!

marijaa333 · September 2015

Nursing to sleep has been linked to a lifetime of bad habits, such as eating checkout line beef jerky, drinking bad beer and smoking crack.

Or wait, no, no it hasn't!!

:-@

shelley423russ · September 2015

My fear is having to resort to cry it out because she won't know how to fall asleep any other way

marijaa333 · September 2015

There are many more gentle ways to sleep train. You could nurse then just briefly wake her so she barely opens her eyes before drifting off. Once she gets the hang of that, keep her awake for 30-60 seconds before putting her down to sleep. Once she has that down, increase to 2 minutes, then 5, etc. Eventually, if she is tired and not hungry, she will learn to settle herself. It also depends on how long you plan to nurse. If you plan to go for longer than 9-12 months, she'll begin to understand words and you may be able to tell her "mommy's here, go to sleep." Finally, CIO is not the end of the world. Just like nursing to sleep, CIO will not lead to a life of crime.

SmrBrd2012 · September 2015

I still nurse to sleep too. However, I try not to be "as gentle" when I put him down now. So sometimes he wakes up and will drift back off to sleep. I've been a little worried about continuing it too since he wakes 3 times a night. I'm usually the one who ends up getting him since boob=comfort=back to sleep faster than dad can do it. I'll probably start to change this habit soon, especially as I more strongly consider sleep training. Mama needs her sleep...

shelley423russ · September 2015

I'd be really curious to know if anyone that nurses to sleep has a baby that sleeps 8+ hour stretches

CanadaMom17 · September 2015

^^ A few times, but 6 to 7 is the norm. And, I bed share, so the baby is double doomed to be an axe murderer... :P

cee209230 · September 2015

@shelley423russ DD has! She has even slept a full 10+hrs believe it or not. But that's history now, she's doing 6-7hrs but we also cosleep, just like pp. I am starting to wonder if maybe I am waking her up in my sleep by twitching or snoring too loud. ? I also wonder if she would sleep longer if I put her to sleep earlier, like the "sleep breeds sleep" I've read. Usually I keep her up til about 9-10pm, since it's harvest here in Kansas, I want DH to see her when he gets home.

NPReed10 · September 2015

shelley423russ said:
I'd be really curious to know if anyone that nurses to sleep has a baby that sleeps 8+ hour stretches

I EBF & she sleeps for 8-9 hours, then up for a feed & back asleep another 4 hours. Hoping to get ride of the 4am feed soon!

tjurado10 · September 2015

Glad to read I'm not the only one the nurses LO to sleep!

Caileybug · September 2015

I nurse to sleep for bedtime only and he usually sleeps 10-11 hours. We put him down awake for naps and he fusses then sucks his thumb.

kellxo · October 2015

wow i feel less guilty after reading that article and other people's experience! Now i feel like i won't stress about it. i also kept it a secret ! when at home i always nurse him to sleep but when out i would try and not too. it usually never works that often and i still have to nurse him to sleep. but now i feel good about it! thanks ladies

adlewi78 · October 2015

NPReed10 said:

shelley423russ said:
I'd be really curious to know if anyone that nurses to sleep has a baby that sleeps 8+ hour stretches
I EBF & she sleeps for 8-9 hours, then up for a feed & back asleep another 4 hours. Hoping to get ride of the 4am feed soon!

This is similar for us...lo goes to bed around 6:30 and there have been quite a few times where she went 12 hours but generally she wakes up for 1 feed. Probably for the first 2-3 months we nursed to sleep. We still nurse right before putting her down but she usually isn't asleep when I put her down anymore. As long as she isn't crying I just give her a paci and close the door to see if she will go to sleep on her own, usually she does, but if she starts getting frustrated I go check on her, give her paci again and close the door. This seems to work really well for us most of the time, especially for the middle of the night feed because it's really dark in her room. When we put her down for the night, If she starts getting worked up I first try to calm her down without picking her up, but putting my hand on her belly/chest and rocking her in the crib and shhhhhhing her. If she gets too upset though I pick her up and rock her.

copelandmarci · October 2015

I do not nurse to sleep at night but rather nurse then put her down in her crib drowsy but awake. I have been doing this since 2 months old. And no nursing at all before naps. (Sleep, eat, awake, sleep, eat, awake). I used the Babywise method although not as strict about napping only in crib, etc. I can say that she has been sleeping 11-12 hours every night since 3 months old. Babies move through sleep cycles all night just like adults and if they can fall asleep on their own without nursing then that's more sleep for baby and Momma! It has worked well for us but if what you are doing is working well for your family, then I say don't feel guilty. No one else is in your family and shouldn't judge for what works for you. That's the beauty of these share boards. Everyone can discuss and offer tips and each can customize for their own sanity and baby's well-being.

whitpadgett · October 2015

I nursed DS1 to sleep until I dried up while pregnant when he was 21 months. No issues following other than having to cuddle for 10 minutes or so when putting him to bed. Now nursing DS2 to sleep at 4 months and he sleeps 630p-6a straight through without issue. I have no plans of changing anything the second time around:)

marijaa333 · October 2015

I

this thread. Nursers-to-sleep unite!

harpyogi · October 2015

Glad you ladies found the article reassuring too! Every child has different needs and every mother knows their child best whether it means nursing to sleep, cosleeping etc.

Sammadden27 · October 2015

Most of the time nursing is the only way I can get my little guy to sleep. Day or night. A lot of people tell me I'm spoiling him but I don't believe in the CIO method and I feel like sleep is so important so I'll do anything to make him get adequate sleep.

NPReed10 · October 2015

I nurse my LO to sleep and she enjoyed 12 glorious hours of uninterrupted sleep last night (ok, I enjoyed it). Do what works for you.

sunnyday016 · October 2015

DD2 is my 3rd baby. I've nursed all of them to sleep in the early months. Don't worry about it. You won't be doing it forever, I promise.

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