In SHOCK!! I have a 3 yr old and 1.5 yr old and just found out I am having twins!! — The Bump

In SHOCK!! I have a 3 yr old and 1.5 yr old and just found out I am having twins!!

Hi all -

I am in complete shock.  I just got home from my first sonogram (approximately 12 weeks along) and found out I am having TWINS!!!!  Have no twins in my family or my husband's family and was not taking any fertility medication....obviously there is always a chance but WOW!  I have so many questions and thoughts going through my head - they are identical twins so they are high risk - I am so scared - my first two children were delivered vaginally - what are the chances I can have another vaginal birth?  will I be put on bed rest?  can I breastfeed twins?  what is the survival rate for identical twins?  Please share your experiences, advice, insights, and positive vibes.  I am one scared mommy!
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Re: In SHOCK!! I have a 3 yr old and 1.5 yr old and just found out I am having twins!!

  • Wow! That's a lot to take in for you! Congrats!!!!
    I don't have a lot of experience as we are only 17w2d with fraternal but we had discussed certain things with our doctor.
    As far as my doctors office is concerned, they do not let twins go much past 38 weeks so we have a due date of 38w2d due to us technically being due on a Saturday. We were also told most non complicated twins pregnancies with healthy women should not expect any bed rest, even towards the very end. She also explained I could only deliver vaginally if Baby A, the closest to the cervix, had their head down and in position. If not, both will be taken c section as they don't like to take any chances. I will also be going in twice a week for ultrasounds at the end, to watch their positioning. I have read but have to yet confirm with our doctor, that multiples are normally born in an operating room vs a delivery room in case something happens and you cannot deliver both vaginally. Also, she told me that breastfeeding shouldn't be a problem.

    Sorry if that isn't as helpful as you hoped. It's a lot to take in, there being two! We've known since before 6 weeks so it's all settled into our brains finally. Good luck on your journey.
    ***Trying to conceive since 9/12- m/c 2/13 from natural conception.
    IVF success 10/14 with m/c 11/14. FET success 4/15***

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  • 3JTMom3JTMom
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Photogenic
    Congratulations mama! Take a deep breath, it is going to be ok. You got this baby thing down with two other children, you can do this. Just stay organized, plan ahead and keep asking questions. Being informed is a large part of the process!
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  • Congrats! Take a deep breath. You're in for a wild ride.

    I came to this exact place, asking some of these exact questions when I found out about my twins. Twins were the LAST thing we expected (no family history, no fertility treatment, first pregnancy) and I was panicked and terrified.

    Best advice I can give is read as much as you can about twin pregnancies and managing with newborn twins. Have a plan in place for when your twins are born (you will need help, especially since you have two older kiddos). Yes, you can breastfeed them. Mine are still breastfed at 7 months. When and how you deliver is up to you, your doctor, and your twins! Are they in the same sac, sharing a placenta (mono/mono)? That is considered more high-risk and some doctors require early delivery (36 weeks) and/or a c-section. Personally, I had mine both ways: Baby A was born vaginally and Baby B by c-section. Not ideal, but it was fine.

    Books I recommend: Mothering Multiples; When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads; Dad's Guide to Twins; Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins. 
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  • rue:Drue:D
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited July 2015
    My doctor said as long as Baby A is head down, vaginal birth is an option. Currently my Baby B is breech and she still said it would be possible, once A is born that they would try to turn B.

    You probably won't be put on bed rest, studies seem to show that it doesn't help too much except in certain situations. So I wouldn't expect it, just know that it is always a possibility.

    Yes, you can breastfeed can do one after the other or do both at the same time (tandem). I've read tandem is easier, else you'll spend all your time with one baby latched on because by the time you finish, the other will be hungry too! We are going to do formula since my husband will be the primary caregiver and I want it to be just as easy for either one of us to feed the twins.

    You'll be fine! Pick up a few books. I've read What to Do When You're Having Two and it was a good resource.

    Sometimes twins just happen! First pregnancy, no family history, no fertility drugs here!
  • Congratulations!!!

    I have identical twins and it is so fun!! I had some complications, but was not put on bed rest and they were born vaginally!
  • snmomsnmom
    10 Comments Photogenic Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Hi! I'm in the same boat as you. My older two are 3 and 2 and I was also shocked when I went in for an ultrasound and was told I am having twins. Mine are identical too. I was shocked and terrified at first, and a little sad because I expected this to be my "easiest" pregnancy and delivery. (My older 2 were also born vaginally at 39+ weeks with no complications). It took a while to get over the shock and terror, but I am used to it by now and so happy and excited. I'm 26 weeks today and honestly, this pregnancy has not been too different from my other 2, except I'm getting bigger faster. My doctors told me they generally deliver identical twins by 34-36 weeks, so my goal is to get to 36 and as close to 37 as they will let me go. Some days I am still scared about how I'm gonna do this, but I'm just taking it a week at a time. Good luck and hang in there. We can do this!!
  • Congrats! My biggest advice would be to keep an open mind and however your babies come into the world, however you end up feeding them, etc. - just hope for healthy babies. My pregnancy was not ideal - in & out of hospital from 28 weeks-on. My birth was not ideal - 34 weeks, laboring flat on my back & not allowed to move for 30+ hours. Ended up with a c section even though both babies were head down. I wasn't really planning on breastfeeding to be honest as I thought some other medical issues would preclude me from doing so. But my babies ended up in the NICU and I was basically required to pump for them to get the important nutrients from breastmilk. And I'm really glad I did. Basically, I would say you can have a preference or a loose "plan" but the need to stay flexible is a must!
  • I'm 33 weeks with twins! All twins are considered high risk, but it is true that mono/mono twins have a greater risk! No bedrest at all yet! It is really not as common or as recommended as you might expect. My doctor is convinced I will make it to our goal (38 weeks) and deliver both babies vaginally. You will probably have to give birth in an OR just in case.

    You can probably expect to be put on an extreme amount of different vitamins! Especially since you will need to over-provide because your babies are sharing everything and you don't want one to get more than the other!

    Lastly, congratulations!! This is what happened to me and my husband! No history of twins and no fertility treatments, but here we are pregnant with two beautiful boys! We looked it up, and there is only a 3% chance of that happening!! (So go buy your lotto tickets now lol)

    It will be a journey, that's for sure! But all pregnancies are!

    Good luck to you and your sweet babies!
  • Congrats. I delivered fraternal twin girls vaginally on the 13th, at 38 weeks. No bed rest or real complications. It gets tough towards the end with the extra weight but totally doable.

    I will say the first two weeks have been challenging. I have a 2.5year old but thankfully have help of my mom every day.



  • Congratulations! It sounds like you are worried, but don't be! You're already a parent, you know how to take care of babies- you've got this! Yes, you can breast feed and possibly have a natural birth. 
    As I understand it identical twins aren't genetic, it's a fluke. I was put on bedrest at 31 weeks, but only because I went into preterm labor. It's not standard practice to be on bed rest with multiples, unless there is an issue. Since you're already at 12 weeks, my guess is that your chances for survival (rates) are very high.
    It's going to be a lot of work. But, like I said... you're already a parenting pro! People always ask me "how do you do it?" (take care of all the kids), and my answer is always: I just DO. It's astounding what we can make work when we need to. You will make it work, and it will be fine!
    Married 07.07.07. Mom to 3: Ruby 11/08 and Oliver & Austin 12/11
  • You already have gotten a lot of good answers but I just wanted to say I know how you're feeling!! I found out we were expecting twins in February when I was just 6 weeks along. It was a shock that I was even pregnant because I had a then 9onth old, 4 yr old and 9 yr old. We were done, or so we thought! I'm nearly 30 weeks now Andy youngest will be 14 months when these babies come...she isn't even walking yet! But I know somehow with a lot of help we'll make it work! I was terrified about the pregnancy until my 20 week scan but they're doing great!
  • I just found out yesterday, at nearly 10 weeks! I am in total and complete shock still myself. It seems like there are so many greater risk factors with twins, and I'm in the same boat as a lot of you - no fertility treatments, no family history, first pregnancy so I am just beside myself.

    Yep, still in a lot of shock and wondering how I am going to deal with this.

    I've been looking into "mothers of multiples" support groups in my area. It looks like there are a few, so I recommend that so far!
    Me: 36, Him: 38; 2 rescue dogs, 2 stepsons. First pregnancy ! (Eek!)

  • Congrats and take time to be excited! When I had my twins my older two had just turned 4 and 2. My advice would be to lean on family for help. Be prepared for some issues with the older two. They are going to need an adjustment period too! Be open to a c-section if necessary. I had to have one because they were both breech. It's ok to feed the babies however you need to! I did every type of feeding imaginable. It's also good to know the risks of twin pregnancy but don't over think it. I just worried about everything and I delivered at 39 weeks with no complications. Lastly, when the babies are born, don't be afraid to take all four kids out and continue with life! Get a good stroller and away you go! Good luck!
  • I was on bedrest for incompetent cervix for 14.5 weeks. It was absolutely the hardest thing I've done, mentally and emotionally and physically. Haha.

    I had a completely natural vaginal birth, though! It was awesome!! I also breast fed them (no bottles and never an ounce of formula!) until now (they are two and two months) and we are almost done weaning. It's totally possible!!

    It was very hard at times especially because they had food allergies but we're doing awesome now and I've grown so much as a person and a mother. You'll do great!!

    (I'm secretly hoping for twins a little bit this pregnancy as well!)

    Did they check your cervix length?
    Married to my dream husband
    Mom to 2 year old BG twins (Incompetant cervix, cerclage, and LOTS of bed rest)
    Pregnant with our next!
  • hi and congrats! Similar situation here but my other 2 will be 6 and 8 when these 2 come (very thankful for the space in age!) I admit I cried stressed out tears when I found out. As for your questions, I am 26 weeks now and have already had the "talk" with my OBGYN. We will attempt vaginally if A is head down and he can either turn B or deliver him breech. However, considering your twins are mono-di (ie Identical) that might change delivery options, I'm not sure.  I have quite a few friends with twins (most of them are my oldest son's age now) and most did breastfeed in some capacity. I only BF my 2 sons however I refuse to be a martyr to the BFing and won't rule-out supplementation this time. As you know a well rested mommy is a happier mommy. For now, drink that water and keep in touch with your doc and make sure you get in with a good MFM practice for ultra-sounds and that your hospital can handle premature births - just in case. Good luck!
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