What to do about double purchase of big ticket item from registry?

Gingermom15 · September 2015

It shows someone purchased a pack and play similar to the one I registered for. Which is awesome. Before I could edit my registry to remove the unfulfilled one, someone also purchased the specific pack and play that I did register for. I was at work and couldn't log in until this morning to edit the list. Although I am so thankful to the persons who purchased these, I hate the thought of opening a double gift at my shower and having one or both feel their gift wasn't appreciated/will be returned etc. Do I say something so one of them can return it and get their money back? If you were the person I said something to would it bother you? I'm not interested in taking it back myself for the money or to buy something else, We are in a good financial situation and wouldn't need to. I also hate to sound ungrateful.

Sunny2015 · September 2015

I was worried about the same thing so I talked to my mom about it and she told me I could just keep both and have a back up or a grandparents one for when LO goes to stay over there

don't know if that helps much, but it's what I'll be doing

Uwannalala · September 2015

I think it would be more awkward to say something.. maybe even a little greedy (even though it doesn't sound like that is what you are going for.. at all.)

Duplicates happen. No big deal. Just let them both give the presents and either return it or give one to grandma and grandpa. You say your "not interested in taking it back yourself" but your guest may not be interested in taking it back either you know?

Again, not meaning to sound rude at all, I think your coming from the right place. But you will just make it awkward.

Gingermom15 · September 2015

Uwannalala said:
I think it would be more awkward to say something.. maybe even a little greedy (even though it doesn't sound like that is what you are going for.. at all.)

Duplicates happen. No big deal. Just let them both give the presents and either return it or give one to grandma and grandpa. You say your "not interested in taking it back yourself" but your guest may not be interested in taking it back either you know?

Again, not meaning to sound rude at all, I think your coming from the right place. But you will just make it awkward.

You're not sounding rude. I think you get where I am coming from in that I don't want to make anyone feel weird or to seem ungrateful myself. If mentioning something will make someone feel awkward then I certainly wouldn't do so. I've never had a registry before or experienced a large gift-giving event centered around me. I wasn't sure if there was a way to approach this or to just let it happen. Thank you.

grkgdss00 · September 2015

I'm confused as to how it notified you if you didn't have both on your registry?

I would let it be and return one for store credit since it sounds like you had 2 on there to begin with.

Gingermom15 · September 2015

grkgdss00 said:
I'm confused as to how it notified you if you didn't have both on your registry?

I would let it be and return one for store credit since it sounds like you had 2 on there to begin with.

Someone bought a similar pack and play and added to the registry as a purchased item. It wasn't the one I registered for. When this happens, it says 1 of 0 purchased beside the item.
Someone else purchased the pack and play that was on my registry. Ergo, two pack and plays. I did not register for two.

willashbaby · September 2015

Just return the one you don't need if you decide not to keep it. It happens, NBD.

ACarter0914 · September 2015

I would return it myself unless it will get well used at a grandparents house. I know you don't want too/don't need the money but if I were on the other side of this and someone asked me to return my gift and get something else I would feel weird so about it!

Do you need anything else for the same value? You could always exchange it and get something else for baby.

Gingermom15 · September 2015

ACarter0914 said:
I would return it myself unless it will get well used at a grandparents house. I know you don't want too/don't need the money but if I were on the other side of this and someone asked me to return my gift and get something else I would feel weird so about it!

Do you need anything else for the same value? You could always exchange it and get something else for baby.

Taking it back isn't an issue on my part at all. I guess my thought was if the purchaser wanted their money back if I didn't need two items, maybe giving them the option was the thing to do? I'm weird about receiving gifts when I can afford things myself. This is all new to me. I did get the input I was looking for and definitely won't be mentioning it. I think making people weird or awkward is worse than receiving duplicates.

*typo

mhwood · September 2015

If you don't need to/want to take it back. I would keep it and use it.

We have one upstairs and we keep one downstairs for the first few months, then we ended up using it to go away a few times and when we go to family's house for holidays or when she spends the night at grandma's house.

ACarter0914 · September 2015

Ohhhhhh I get what your saying now @sarahgn I'd say just exchange it! Maybe splurge on something really expensive?!

Maybe at your baby shower one of them will notice that you opened two of the same thing and suggest you get something else too so it won't be as weird?

Gingermom15 · September 2015

ACarter0914 said:
Ohhhhhh I get what your saying now @sarahgn I'd say just exchange it! Maybe splurge on something really expensive?!

Maybe at your baby shower one of them will notice that you opened two of the same thing and suggest you get something else too so it won't be as weird?

If it's the two people who purchased them that I suspect, they will likely suggest something like that.

redfallon · September 2015

We got our pack n play from my mom and also from a friend of ours. We didn't have the same issue that you did about having to explain it as our friend wasn't able to come to the shower and had hers mailed to us. We took that one back and got store credit and never mentioned to either my mom or our friend.

Your situation is a little different, but duplicates are to be expected at times, and I really don't understand why someone wouldn't expect that to happen if they added a pack n play to your registry when you already had one on there. I didn't know that you could add something to someone's registry. I'd take back the one that you aren't going to use, if you aren't going to use it.

soulfish · September 2015

Keep it for travel use (i will keep one set up at home) or pass it along to someone who really needs it. They're pricey so it might be a REALLY huge blessing to someone who doesn't have anything. Either way tell both gifters that while you would not have registered for two, you're excited to keep ine for travel and not have to break it down often.

Gingermom15 · September 2015

I didn't know, either. But a few people have purchased things such as laundry detergent and a first aid kit and added them as purchased. I see how it is helpful if the MTB wasn't registered for something useful. But confusing for someone who may have printed the registry a couple days before and took it to the store, which I know a few older people did and maybe didn't notice the additional item when they updated the item to be fulfilled. I just wasn't quick enough to delete the pack and play I registered for.

LMJL · September 2015

Hmm, this is a tough one. I would want to know if I was the purchaser, b/c I would want to buy you something useful. But, I would also have checked with you/shower host before purchasing an item NOT on your registry so as to avoid the double buy! I assume they bought you this one b/c it's better? But, it's frustrating, b/c I know I spent a lot of time picking the pack n' play I registered for specifically. I'm not really shy about returning things though, (no one is in my family!) If you don't want to say anything (which I agree is kinda awkward at this point. But it might be more awkward for the people who bought the pack n plays) I would definitely return one of them. If you will get a lot of use out of the extra one (like at gradparent's house) it could be worth holding onto. But otherwise, it's an expensive waste of money, regardless of whether you need money or not. People want you to use the gifts they buy, not have them sit around. I like PPs idea of a splurge item, like a really nice blanket, or outfit for xmas pics. But if it were me, I'd want you to spend that money, even if it was on diapers!

colsen4 · September 2015

It would be awkward as pp have said to say anything. Just let whatever is going to happen be. After the shower take any duplicates or items you don't need/want back to the store and use the credit for other items. Don't worry about the money that was spent on the items purchased for you. When giving a gift people will give what they are comfortable with spending. If I was willing to spend $200 on a gift I would not care if there were duplicates and mine could be returned. To me the $200 will still go to the person I wanted to give a gift. I would rather know that the mtb and baby have what they need and will be used then concerned about my gift being kept.

Gingermom15 · September 2015

It's a similar pack and play that is almost the same price. I registered for a Chicco and the first one purchased was a Graco LX. Very similar in design. Which I am not complaining about, I just wasn't able to remove the Chicco in time before it was bought as well.

Edited because I didn't meant to quote myself

SCKD · September 2015

This is what happens when people don't stick to the registry! If you get multiples of something, that's not your fault. Just let it happen, be gracious to both people, and then decide what to do yourself. Returning one to get something else would be totally fine. Keeping both to have one for grandma's house or whatever you want to do with it might be nice.

momotheflyinglemur · September 2015

I mean if the office registry one ends up being from a close enough friend or daily member I would invite them along on the trip to return it, like hey let's go spend this cash on other stuff. That way if it's important to feel important they can, if they don't care to they know you'll be returning it. That's what they get for shopping of registry, lols.

Ken122014 · September 2015

So, you already said you weren't going to say anything, and I think that's the way to go. When you open the second one, so it's not awkward, or so the two purchasers don't feel like their gift will "go to waste" you can say, 'Oh Perfect! This one can go upstairs" Or, this one can go to grandma's, this can be a travel one, whatever. If you do end up returning it, they don't have to know, and they don't feel bad that they both bought the same gift.

I got three gift sets of soap, shampoo and lotion. My gma got all upset because she bought the one on the registry and the other two weren't on the registry. I just said, "well you can never have too much shampoo, I'm sure we'll go through all of it!" I also got 2 infant car seats (I accidently registered for two and didn't have a chance to change my registry.) One was a stroller- carseat combo, the other was just a car seat. I didn't say anything about that one (the stroller car seat gifters weren't there).

ETA- I agree with @colsen4 too. People know how much money they want to spend, and find something that price. I wouldn't be offended if my gift ended up getting returned, as long as mtb and baby were able to buy something useful in exchange. BUT- I know not everyone feels that way

elbou · September 2015

sarahgn said:

I would return it myself unless it will get well used at a grandparents house. I know you don't want too/don't need the money but if I were on the other side of this and someone asked me to return my gift and get something else I would feel weird so about it! Do you need anything else for the same value? You could always exchange it and get something else for baby.
Taking it back isn't an issue on my part at all. I guess my thought was if the purchaser wanted their money back if I didn't need two items, maybe giving them the option was the thing to do? I'm weird about receiving gifts when I can afford things myself. This is all new to me. I did get the input I was looking for and definitely won't be mentioning it. I think making people weird or awkward is worse than receiving duplicates. *typo

I think that if it really matters to them, they might offer to exchange it themselves when they see 2 of them at the shower. If they just want you to have the money for baby, as PPs mentioned, they likely won't care and will just be happy that you will be able to get something you really like and need. If you're lucky, one of them might even include a gift receipt!

redfallon · September 2015

Generally, when someone gives you a gift, it is yours to do with as you want to after they have given it to you. If that means keeping it or putting it at Grandmas's house, or returning it, it's not really up to them after they have given it to you.

ChiccoBeanz · September 2015

redfallon said:

Generally, when someone gives you a gift, it is yours to do with as you want to after they have given it to you. If that means keeping it or putting it at Grandmas's house, or returning it, it's not really up to them after they have given it to you.

This, plus if I got you a gift and you chose to return or exchange it, I rather you did that. Plus then you can always tell me how happy you were with the exchange you were able to do with my gift. But I'm apparently weird in baby shower world. I just want the mtb and family to be happy and have what they want/need.

HFjeld · September 2015

For what it's worth, we have a pack and play that we will use as a bassinet in our bedroom until the baby moves into a crib in their own bedroom and we also have another pack and play that we leave at daycare for nap times there (it's a home daycare, and it's easier to bring our own). My mom also has a pack and play that she keeps at their house. This is way more than we would ever have asked for, but it certainly is handy to not have to move one pack and play from place to place! (BTW, all of the pack and plays were hand-me-downs!)

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What to do about double purchase of big ticket item from registry?

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