Community› The Bump Message Boards› 3rd Trimester
3rd Trimester
New Discussion

Afraid

mellywelly13mellywelly13 member
in 3rd Trimester

9 weeks to go with number 2 and feeling very little excitement due to an overwhelming feeling that it will be more than I can handle. I can't even decide on a name. Just worried about how much pain it will be and how hard it is to go without sleep again. I've been in a great deal of physical pain from about 5 weeks on, more so than with my first pregnancy. Just worried to death about how hard it is, especially with a two year old this time.

Report Reply to Post

Re: Afraid

  • JulieandJoe2010JulieandJoe2010 member
    Similar here. This is my 2nd, and I have a 2 year old. This pregnancy has been a lot harder on my body, has given me the blues here and there. His kicks hurt and I feel guilty for not loving this pregnancy, like how the first was so new and exciting. I'm scared of change, but I know ppl say things adjust pretty quickly.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • mellywelly13mellywelly13 member
    At least I'm not alone...Understand the guilty feeling, also. I think people are noticing my non-excitement and mistaking it for not wanting the baby, which is false. I also do not want things to change and I know they will. It's just hard to be happy knowing life will be harder soon. I'm looking at it half-empty, I realize. Doesn't change how I feel though.
    Report Reply
  • blondekates1blondekates1 member
    I just want to say, you can do it, mama!  I so know what you're going through!  I am 33 weeks with twins this time and can hardly pick up my 13 month old who's just learned how to walk.  Everything seems awful right now, but we'll be so happy when those little ones arrive.  Just counting down the days :-)
    Report Reply
  • vlhessvlhess member
    Im 38 and 34.5 weeks pregnant with a boy :) Craziness is my youngest is 18 and I just finished moving her into her college dorm. This pregnancy is nothing like I remembered, and now that the nursery is almost done, shopping is done, and all that is left is the waiting game, I find that I am really anxious. Im nervous about the delivery (am i nuts for saying no to the epidural??), hoping I can breastfeed (i didn't previously), and hello! I feel really old at 38 to be starting over. I'm just hoping this last month goes quickly and my bundle gets here healthy so I can focus on him and not my crazy fears
    Report Reply
  • mandy903mandy903 member
    When I was expecting my second I felt the same way. My daughter was 2 and when I brought my son home he cried around the clock. I felt anxious and inadequate. His crying would wake her in the night and I would have him nursing and her on my lap twiddling my thumb to go back to sleep. They were often hungry at the same time and it was either him scream and make her meal as quickly as I could or tell her I had to feed baby first. Either way I was wracked with guilt. Looking back I wish I would have loosened up and just enjoyed it more. He would have been fine to scream for a few to make her a sandwich. Either way they would both be fed very soon. No biggie. Those late night cuddles on the couch are cherished memories even though at the time I felt guilty for waking my toddler and stressed about getting them both back to sleep. My second had "colic" cried constantly hardly slept. Was a very difficult baby. But we made it. And here I am having number 3. And this time I'm not stressing. I know even if my house is a mess and I feed my family cereal and spaghettios to get through the tough days it will be fine. No one will suffer. I am going to slow down and enjoy it because they are only little for so long. Being pregnant is hard and at the end there isn't a lot to enjoy about it. Don't feel guilty! You will be fine. Just love them and be kind to yourself! :)
    Report Reply
  • mellywelly13mellywelly13 member
    Thanks guys. I guess I am focusing on the wrong things. I really do need and want to enjoy them when they are little. And stressing out about how I am going to manage only makes things worse. I just want to do a good job. I know that my actions shape their personalities and want them to turn out well. I think I'm too hard on myself.
    Report Reply
  • ZoeyRaeJamesZoeyRaeJames member
    Even though I'm a FTM, and don't fully understand, I have a feeling you're going to do GREAT! :) But I do understand the feeling of "not being excited". I have my moments of NOT being exicted about my 1st pregnancy! I think a LOT of it has to do with where I'm currently living, because I do NOT want to be here. And I do NOT want to be around most of the people I'm around.( I call them my "non" family for a reason...) But that is beside the point! I am sure it will be tough for a little bit. But you can do it, Mama! :)
    Report Reply
  • amm0512amm0512 member
    This pregnancy has actually been pretty smooth compared to DS. He came a little early (36+6), so now that I've hit 30 weeks with DD, I'm terrified she'll come too soon and be in the NICU. I am dreading the newborn phase because all I really remember with DS is how miserable and tired I was, so I worry that I won't let myself enjoy it with DD since I'm just trying to get it over with. I'm sad that I can't protect my little boy from the chaos that is about to descend upon our home...but like most of the PPs, he's only 2 and won't remember this. Good luck, Mamas! I promise we will all survive this and will be so happy to see the love our little ones will share as siblings. :)
    Report Reply
  • shellperryshellperry member
    I'll be honest with you all going from one to two it's hard! My boys are a year and 15 days apart and it was hell. The thing I learned I needed to do the most was find time for me even if it was just a shower. Also schedules are going to be your new best friend. If your first is under two invest in a baby warp even for around the house. Let your older one help with the baby even if it's just putting a dipper in the trash.
    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Eh, I disagree with schedules working for everyone. For me, flexibility & just being allowed to go with flow helped everyone. No nap times or meal times relieved pressure & expectation.

    I'm atypical in this regard I think. Many moms from. #1 live & die by schedules. That's ok too. It just didn't work for me. I always felt "behind" & like I was failing at something with that in place.

    Start now with delayed response or doing something before attending to your toddler's needs. This will get them used to waiting & not flipping out at the idea.

    They will cry at you together & you will have your moments of feeling flustered. It's normal & went you have these moments it's frazzling for every mom going from 1 to 2.

    Sleeping wasn't an issue for us. DD slept through most of DS's night wakings (and we bed share with a co-sleeping attachment to the bed) . When they are both sick it's still a slog, but I promise it's not horrible. I'm TTC#3 -- not scared to do it again because I've had my trial by fire. ;)

    I think the most helpful advice is that "there is no SHOULD. There is-- this way is what works for us at this moment/night/hour". Free yourself from expectations found in books or moms or whatever else. Your babies are unique. Your family dynamic & needs will vary.

    Be gentle to yourself & hang in there!


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • redfallonredfallon member
    PrimRoseMama said:
    Eh, I disagree with schedules working for everyone. For me, flexibility & just being allowed to go with flow helped everyone. No nap times or meal times relieved pressure & expectation. I'm atypical in this regard I think. Many moms from. #1 live & die by schedules. That's ok too. It just didn't work for me. I always felt "behind" & like I was failing at something with that in place. Start now with delayed response or doing something before attending to your toddler's needs. This will get them used to waiting & not flipping out at the idea. They will cry at you together & you will have your moments of feeling flustered. It's normal & went you have these moments it's frazzling for every mom going from 1 to 2. Sleeping wasn't an issue for us. DD slept through most of DS's night wakings (and we bed share with a co-sleeping attachment to the bed) . When they are both sick it's still a slog, but I promise it's not horrible. I'm TTC#3 -- not scared to do it again because I've had my trial by fire. ;) I think the most helpful advice is that "there is no SHOULD. There is-- this way is what works for us at this moment/night/hour". Free yourself from expectations found in books or moms or whatever else. Your babies are unique. Your family dynamic & needs will vary. Be gentle to yourself & hang in there!
    Yes to this!

    Jamie


    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers


     Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • mellywelly13mellywelly13 member
    We've never been on a schedule. My husband is in law enforcement and comes home sometimes hours after he should be. I also have a flexible work schedule as I am a contract worker, so I work when there is a need. We also have to schedule our fun time whenever we can, which does not allow us to be home at naptime or supper time every time on time. So I appreciate the comment about relieving myself of expectation and doing what works. That is about all we can do considering. That actually makes me feel a lot more relaxed and less pressured. Thank you all for the support and encouragement. I truly feel better :)
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"