Registry but no shower?

Kurrant · September 2015

I know it's a bit early to be thinking about this but I was wondering if it is socially acceptable to have a registry but not have a baby shower?

I have no parents and I have no siblings. My aunts and cousins and other family members live in the USA while I am in New Zealand. I have been here for a few years but have not really managed to make close female friends so I am positive that there will be no baby shower. I'm not sure about the etiquette here. Do I set up a registry later in case people ask or just leave it? Is it tacky to register when you know there won't be a shower?

I know this is likely more suited for the 'baby shower' boards but it seems pretty dead over there and I know more people around these parts.

lest12 · September 2015

I don't see the harm in setting up a registry. TBH it helped me keep track of what I needed, and you can set it up and even if you purchase your own stuff, you can take advantage of the rewards that most offer.

I would probably not "announce" my registry to anyone but would share if asked

krzyriver · September 2015

That's what I plan to do. I know I'll have friends that will want to buy me stuff but not enough to justify a shower. My family all lives in CA too and I'm in MI. Plus, you get rewards when people shop off your registry. So I plan to make it and slowly shop off it over the months. It'll make it easier to keep track and I'll get the rewards in the end. :-)

call+it+magic · September 2015

I live in Brazil and a big part of my family lives in the U.S. When I was pregnant with my first I set up a registry at Amazon.
My friends and family were happy to have this option that way they could give me something that I really wanted/needed.
Of course I didn't send them anything asking for presents, but whenever somebody asked me they had the option to buy from the registry

mariaalene · September 2015

Yea I did that. No shower bc everyone lives too far apart. Ppl still want to buy you gifts! I didn't announce it really, Ppl just straight up asked me "do you have a registry" or "what do you need?" So I would direct them to the registry. Plus 1 year later and I still add stuff to my registry bc I get money back if I buy it from there.

vinerie · September 2015

I'm also wondering about this. We *just* got married and many of our friends and family gave us very thoughtful gifts. It seems a bit much to have a shower where we ask these same people to buy us stuff again so soon. But some will, I know, so I was thinking I'd make a registry and share it if asked. Also, many people these days know that you can search "baby registry" and your name and find your register online if they want to buy you something. So it's probably a good idea to have one made, although it may still be a bit early right now.

kami09 · September 2015

Definitely make one- even if it's just to keep track the things that you need/want. Like everyone else said, if people ask, direct them to the registry.

If nothing else, you'll be able to purchase off of it and then (at least with bru) you'll get a 15% off coupon once the "baby shower date" has passed. So put EVERYTHING on there. Lol

JessicaB0627 · September 2015

I'm not having a baby shower since this will be my 2nd, but I plan on doing a registry. That way I can get the discounts and some places make it extremely easy to return stuff if it had been purchased off your registry. I'm horrible about keeping receipts so that's a bonus for me!

mrstmoose · September 2015

@vinerie we just got married a year ago and this may sound bad but we plan on still registering. No one has to get us anything if they don't want to. But my family all lives close. I've attended all of my family and friends' wedding and baby showers so I don't think it's too crazy, even though you and I both got married recently. It's just part of life!

finnybooboo · September 2015

Not having a shower, but am going to do a registry to get the rewards and keep track of what we need. Won't be sharing it though.

skiingstark · September 2015

I live far away from most of family and friends we plan on traveling back home thanksgiving and doing the shower. They live in VA and I live in Colorado now. My second moms (my moms best friends) who only have sons are already planning out my shower, I have to keep warning them though that I have not even had my appointment and could mc.

dsmith211 · September 2015

I live close to most of my family but I really don't see a shower happening for me. My step mom threw one for my step sister but obviously bc it's her real daughter... And my step mom and I do not have a good relationship at all (very long story) so I don't see her doing it for me. My mom lives out of state and doesn't have the money to pay for a shower or come here for one. I don't really have any close friends that would do it either. My in laws maybe... But based on the past probably not.

For my wedding, a bridal shower was never thrown for me... My younger sister was my MOH and she asked older family members for help numerous times bc she had no idea what she was doing and everyone just said they didn't have time or the best - 'I didn't need one'. So this is why my expectations are pretty low.

I do plan to have a registry in case people ask and for any incentives though.

asunna · September 2015

Do it and don't feel shame
We're a military family here and we are stuck in rural Alaska
I'm Canadian and he's American there's obviously no way our families can make any shower but we will have a registry

jessiedee13 · September 2015

Ive made a registry for all 3 of my babies (this one included...I love making registries) and I only had a shower for the first one. Registries are great tools for yourself as well, if you would see something you really like, you can save it there and be sure to find it later!

sjecc09 · September 2015

I would definitely register! Like many PPs said, you can get some great discounts and it's a great way to track what you want/need!

I've been invited to a "virtual shower" when one of my good friends moved across the country. We all got on Skype and we were able to have an online celebration and see some of the adorable gifts she and her LO got. Not saying a virtual shower is the best way to go, as some viewed it as tacky, but it could be an option depending on how close you are to the guests that would "attend" the online event.

SaraJan2014 · September 2015

In my religion we don't do showers as it is considered sort of a superstition to do anything before baby arrives. However, people still do registries and then give the gifts once the baby is born.

mhc13 · September 2015

I would just for the registry discount. If someone wants to buy something then that's great too!

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