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May 2016 Moms
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SO not supportive?

morganakeenemorganakeene member
in May 2016 Moms
my boyfriend is just flat out not supportive. We have a 2 year old we share together from my previous marriage and he now isn't even interested in helping out with her. He's been spending a lot of time at work and I can't get him to communicate with me about anything. Tomorrow is my first ultrasound and now he is saying he doesn't have time to go.
I'm feeling really lonely and I keep trying to tell him I need his help and he doesn't seem to care.
Help, what do I do :(
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Re: SO not supportive?

  • AmandagStarkAmandagStark member
    I'm sorry, that you're going through such a tough spot, OP. Is there a history of him being "unsupportive" or is there something new that has triggered his lack of involvement and lack of communication? Who else do you consider part of your support system? Maybe reaching out to one of those individuals would be helpful and comforting.
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  • TheThornBirdTheThornBird member
    You poor thing :( I totally understand how it feels, my BF also isn't the greatest support. This past weekend we were visiting his family, I thought I started having a miscarriage and told him we may need to go back home if I was. He told me running some errands for his family was more important and I would just have to suck it up and stay there. It truly sucks having someone who doesn't give a crap. 

    Would he consider counseling? We started seeing a counselor a few months ago and it has helped tremendously. I still think we may be on the path to splitting up, but things are nowhere near as bad as they used to be, and it's given me the confidence to start taking care of myself in the event we do split up. Insurance sometimes helps cover the cost (ours is $25 per session). The BF didn't want to go at first, but I told him I couldn't continue in our relationship unless things started to change, and now he loves our counselor. 
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  • mlangblommlangblom member
    Sorry to hear you are feel unsupported. I would second @AmandagStark idea of reaching out to another person in your support system for the time being, especially if you need support in the short term.

    As for your BF, have you talk to him about his anxiety for this pregnancy and upcoming baby? I know my DH really wanted kids, but when we found out about our first he had a really hard time rationalizing everything. He went from very excited to be distant because he was consumed with what he thought his roll as the provider meant and the permanence of having a child.

    Hoping you start to feel more supported.
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